Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:53
Healing to heal - realizing I’ve been depressed for most of my life.
People that deal with depression, they learn how to put a mask on and how to hide the symptoms and the things that they're going through in the depression, when they're out in front of people, when they're at home alone, is when they really deal with it
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
When everybody was gone, I would still be depressed. And depression was just a big part of my life. I learned to deal with it. I learned to hide it when necessary. And sometimes I think I hid it too well because I really didn't get the help that I needed. And back then, my parents, like, my mom, she was a nurse, so she believed in doctors. But my dad didn't really believe in us going to see doctors
So, Andrea, I just made a swell about a podcast that I listened to, but I think you would like it. Just give it a listen, because in it, the gentleman talks about a near death experience while serving the government, and he's here to tell everybody that God exists, and he's a christian man. So I think if it doesn't lift your spirits a little bit, I don't know what will
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:39
And so that, coupled with the fact that I am working from home full time, I spend a lot of time alone. I do go work out. Of course, I have church. I go work out and things like that. I do hang out with friends occasionally, but in general, I'm by myself a lot. And so, yeah, there are moments where it hits me harder than others. There are moments where I become really sad
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:34
She's in her 30s, talking about killing herself. Maybe I should just do it now because clearly it doesn't get no better. Yeah, girl, when I tell you I've had some dark days. So I definitely know the feeling, the isolation and trying to find my footing somewhere
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:34
I don't have the rosy colored glasses on anymore, but I'm really looking at things as they are so that I can heal and move forward and be whole and live a better life and have more peace and more joy. So thanks again for commenting, and feel free to comment again and share more of your story here. This is definitely a safe place, or we can talk privately as well. But yeah, this is a safe place
Luce Fonrose
@ilovelucee · 4:32
And years later is when I realized, oh, snap, that wasn't just me grieving. That was an anxiety attack that I was having again. I just didn't know what it was. And I, too, would sleep a lot. My family is just big on that. Like, when I was younger, we'd all be sleeping. People would come to the house to come visit, and we'd all be passed out
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:42
Hi, Lucy. Thank you for listening, first of all, and then thank you for replying. Yeah. My dad and I, my adoptive dad, and we stopped talking for about three months. And although we saw each other every day, neither one of us spoke to the other one. And during the course of that time is when I met my second husband. So I was not emotionally in a place where I should have been trying to date anyone, but I did
Derek Pierre
@DerekPierre · 3:13
So we got to remember if life itself is this gigantic play, if it's this big stage, to some extent, we tell ourselves the show must go on. We think about depression, and we sometimes forget about physical pain. We think about actual physical pain, and we don't think about the fact that there are people who are out here fully functioning. That is the most tremendous pain you could ever imagine
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:10
And I do hope, as always, that whatever I go through in my life, I can use it to help encourage and support and strengthen someone else. Because I know that God can heal, God can deliver, and God can set free
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 5:00
There's nothing wrong with being different. There is nothing wrong with stating that there is something wrong. Depression, you're right, is something that some people don't understand and some will never understand. But depression is not something that a person has by choice. Depression is an imbalance. Depression is just like having an eating disorder. It goes into remission and it comes back whenever you truly deal with it. It's not something that you can just wish away or just goes away
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:37
And so if you don't have faith for God to be a miraculous healer, then, yeah, you better go to the doctor. You better get that medicine. You better take, listen, you better get you some talk therapy, whatever you need, you better go get it. Because I do believe that God gives the doctors and the counselors and psychiatrists, I believe God gives them the knowledge to be able to help us to take care of ourselves. And I totally agree with that
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:24
It's really heavy. It is. It's heavy. And people don't talk about that. But being a PK is so heavy. And that heaviness stays with you. My dad has been gone for ten years, but sometimes that heaviness is still there, and so you just have to kind of learn to deal with it. But, yeah, I appreciate it, Kitha, and I thank you for all of your comments. I appreciate it. And I'll be reaching out
Maurice Lekea
@malekea · 4:20
And the rejection to feel like you are rejected. And at that age, if I knew the possibility to kill myself, I would do it. But at that age you don't know how to do to hurt yourself. Because I hated myself. The things that she would tell me that rejection is so deep. But I think I have shared it a while ago. Calling you me. You look like a monkey
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:12
Hi, Maurice. Thank you for sharing a portion of your story as well. I appreciate it. And that's, you know, never feel like you cannot share your story on anything that I post, because that's what it's about, right? It's about us sharing our stories and helping each other to overcome some of the things that we've been through in our lives. Also sharing our stories to let others know that you're not alone
L A
@homosanity · 5:00
There are some support systems we can get by doing some social things for ourselves that interact with people in new and different ways. But that's hard when you don't trust people after you've been hurt. And if you don't forgive and go through the grieving process, you're not going to do that. And that's what I need to do and what I am doing presently
L A
@homosanity · 5:00
And when I started getting solid mental health treatment and reading books like Sherry Hooper's, there's nothing wrong with you doing some parts work like internal family systems. My life changed. My whole life changed. And it helped me gain an inner spiritual soul dynamic that I did not have before my life. I learned how to love myself. And doesn't the Bible say love others as you love yourself? Well, if you can't love yourself, you cannot love others
Cheyonia Wade
@Chey · 3:58
And I just want you to know that when you feel like that, you can always create as well. It doesn't have to have a good topic or whatever, have you. And you can use a hashtag and I'll respond, just so you know, you're not alone. I think that would be really cool. And you can tell us what the hashtag is, and then we know that she needs to pick me up for the day or she just needs some conversation
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:17
But, and I want to. I want to mention, too, I was not low where I thought about killing myself. That's a different part of depression. Thanks be to God, because I don't take that for granted. Thanks be to God that that's not a part of my depression that I feel like I want to kill myself. That's not a part of my depression. It's not a part of the anxiety that I want to kill myself