I had company commanders and platoon sergeants and whatnot send me for mental health evaluations, not because I hurt anybody, just because I did some crazy off the wall stuff. And so here I am again at 58, staring down a barrel of 59. And I've been in therapy on and off for the last four or five years. I've been on and off antidepressants at least a half a dozen different medications. I've used xanax, I've used alcohol, I've used in my youth