@DBPardes
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:39

Is Setting Boundaries Hard For You?

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But the core of this message from Renee, I think, is when you really dial into what you need in terms of boundaries, you might upset other people, but if you do it well, you probably can have a win win. I want to talk with everybody about this conversation about this issue. And I'm also invited Natalie Spyro to be a part of this because she has taught a program called Crucial Conversations in the Past in leadership and development workshops

it’s so important to know when to put the hand up ✋Welcome @leadership Natalie Spiro brenebrown

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@leadership
Stewards Of the Future
@leadership · 3:04

@selfhonoring

I guess I'd love to start this conversation by saying that there's many different lenses through which setting boundaries and having the courage to love ourselves without disappointing others or knowing that if we set boundaries that are healthy for ourselves, we might upset others, and that's also okay. But there's so many lenses through which we can have this conversation. I kind of want to dip into my personal experience because I've had a long journey in my life of doing a lot of personal transformation
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@DBPardes
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:11

steps to build in boundaries

I'm going to put that boundary up and then turn to myself and say, I don't need to be anything but who I am. And that's a big boundary you set, first with an agreement for yourself. And then I doubt you made that a public, not public. But I doubt you have that conversation with your parents because it was really you making a decision with you that didn't involve that deep conversation with them saying, please stop or didn't it?
@leadership
Stewards Of the Future
@leadership · 2:44

@nabster2020

Integrating those unintegrated Pardes so that I start to feel more whole as an individual, less projection, less deflection. And at that point, self love starts to come into the equation. And when you start getting into the situation of really loving yourself and honoring yourself and your body as a temple or your mind as a temple, and you really connect to the spirit inside of you, your higher wisdom, your higher self, whatever you choose to call it, which really guards you most often and oftentimes
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@LadyO
Ophelia Johnson
@LadyO · 3:08
And I think that that's really important to understand is that when you set boundaries, you can really tell if a person has respect for you or not, because if they don't have any respect for you, they will not respect your boundaries, and they will do everything they can to smash them. So what I've learned is that I had to put hard lines, not even boundaries. Like, I had to put a wall around myself to protect myself from this narcissist
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@EmilyBPaulin
Emily Paulin
@EmilyBPaulin · 1:02

#settingboundariesishard

She talked about setting boundaries and she said that the best way to understand boundaries is you're telling them this is what is okay and this is what is not okay. That way you're given people an understanding of what is acceptable to you in a relationship and what is not acceptable. So I found that really helpful. But setting boundaries for me is so hard just because I always want to make everyone happy and know is probably like one of the hardest things for me to say to someone
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@no5isalive
Jennifer Ryan
@no5isalive · 2:28

@DBPardes

You take the steps, you make the moves to do what's right for you, and you set the boundaries that you know you can commit to and that you can stand with. And I think it's important to remember that you are not in charge of other people's feelings factories. My own feelings factory is a mess right now, and I have to get that in order before I can take on anyone else's. I really loved this. I think it's important. It's
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@DBPardes
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:05

@no5isalive

Hey, Jennifer, thank you so much for digging into this topic with us. And I feel like you really embody a lot of what this quote is about, which is, you know, you're going to to be a better friend, better partner, better everything when you just know what you can control and what you can't and allowing people to understand your boundaries
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