@TheComedyCouch

couch session 8 - impulse control

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Good morning, everybody. It's Saturday. Grab your coffee and get ready to use comedy as catharsis. Because this week's topic is impulse control. And joining me this week on the couch are the fabulous Mikayla, Young, Jackie Fern, Lily Warner, Lindsey Davis, and Brianna Almark. You can check out their bits from Yesterday, anytime. But for now, let's join Leslie on the Couch talking about impulse control

@michaylayoung@sillylily8@BriannaAhlmark@dapperdoctor@jackiefern

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@TheComedyCouch
Hey, guys, welcome to the Show this Morning today. I want to talk about impulse control, something I have very little of. Has there been any time in your life where you lacked impulse control that you wish you didn't? Maybe sending that email email to an ex or telling off your boss, or maybe even an impulse purchase. Let's talk about impulse control. What do you guys think
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@sillylily8
Lily Warner
@sillylily8 · 0:27
Oh, my God. I feel like, you know what I did last night? I have no control. I have no control over my sweet tooth. I was stuffed last night after dinner, and I still went out and got, like, a six dollar ice cream. And I ate the whole thing. I have no control over my impulses, especially when it comes to food
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@michaylayoung
Michayla Young
@michaylayoung · 0:34

#impulse

Impulse control was definitely something that I was not born with when it comes to food. When it comes to anything expensive that I really like. I try to tell myself, you only live once. Clearly, my debit cards don't like that. Saying the worst has to be when I sent it to an X. Actually, not even an X. It was a situationship, and it was just horrible
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@TheComedyCouch

I’m with you @sillylily8

And if, God forbid, somebody brought me that Mint chocolate chip in a cup, like, with no sprinkles or something outside the parameters of what I needed. Exactly. I would have, like, an absolute panic attack. So I'm with you with impulse, with food. I'm with you, girl
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@BriannaAhlmark
Brianna Ahlmark
@BriannaAhlmark · 0:44
Impulse control. Well, I usually don't have any problems with that unless I am high, which, of course, everybody's impulses go out the door. Like, when it comes to food, I get rid really excited suddenly about whatever I'm going to be eating. And then it's like I just sort of get really lost in the sauce
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@TheComedyCouch

@situationship

Oh my God. Michayla situation ship. Speaking of when it comes to social media, I have literally no impulse control. And even when I'm not trying to, it will like accidentally hurt or like something on like a Triple X's post. So I think that social media is making impulse control. The star of the show. I have so many friends who watch their ex stories and it will take them down a rabbit hole for like 3 hours. I need to hear about the situation ship
@sillylily8
Lily Warner
@sillylily8 · 0:41
Oregon, whatever you need to call it. And for me, Leslie, like, sprinkles happen. Sometimes I really got to be in the mood for them. I can't do them all the time
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@dapperdoctor
Lindsay Davis
@dapperdoctor · 1:35
And I was really confused because I was like, didn't I just open this? Basically, I just downed a bottle of wine just thinking it was water. Okay. I also have in the past email to the ex. This was like right before Facebook stuff because I'm an elder millennial. But we had this group talk thing in College. It was like Facebook. And I guess I was on my sorority website, and I was writing a personal email to my ex boyfriend
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@jackiefern
Jackie Fernandez
@jackiefern · 0:43
Impulse control is quite the problem for me, which is why I don't have any sweets or snacks in my house and which is why I have an extremely high Postmates bill
@jackiefern
Jackie Fernandez
@jackiefern · 0:43
One thing that I did do recently that was impulse control that I was pretty embarrassed about was I felt really called to return all of my ex's things late at night night. And it was an impulse I had in the dark of night. I went to his house and returned all these things and he was already passed out. It was 10:00 by the way. So it wasn't that late. But I guess it was late for him
@TheComedyCouch

@jackiefern -moderation

She doesn't even like the Cheetos. She only eats delays in the combo pack. The Cheetos are for me, so I got to just just own it and not get the Cheetos
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@michaylayoung
Michayla Young
@michaylayoung · 0:58

#situationship

Oh, my gosh, Leslie. I swear, you're my fairy godmother, I just love you. But this situation ship was. Oh, my gosh. It was with other New Yorker, and he literally I was in school. And it was my roommate's, boyfriend's, best friend who set me up with him. So small story. He came down to visit me. He took me out on it. We went on two dates. The first day, he got way too drunk
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@sillylily8
Lily Warner
@sillylily8 · 0:51

#peoplepleaser

I don't listen to that impulse and say, hey, look, I understand where you're coming from, but XYZ, no, I'm just such a people, pleaser, and a p**** that I put up with everyone's s***. I let people talk down to me, and I need to do better about listening to my impulse to stand up for myself because I deserve that
@sillylily8
Lily Warner
@sillylily8 · 0:10
Leslie, I disagree. You are a busy woman. You deserve those Cheetos. Keep eating. Your Cheetos, girl
@jackiefern
Jackie Fernandez
@jackiefern · 0:45
I totally get you people hashtag people pleasing Miss Silly Lily about having an impulse to stand up for yourself and then not doing that. I also have this impulse to kind of like Hulk out when defending myself. And then instead of Hulking out, I end up going the more rational Bruce Banner style
@BriannaAhlmark
Brianna Ahlmark
@BriannaAhlmark · 0:37
And I was totally riding on my impulses every time that I felt that somebody was going to come at him or come at me, I was very much like, no, we stand our ground. It's important. And it's important to not even think about it when you're about to stand up for yourself. Well, too, because then people know, like, oh, there's a clear boundary here. She's a boss b****. Don't screw with her
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@sillylily8
Lily Warner
@sillylily8 · 0:20

@jackiefern #housewives

Jackie, you are so on point. Like I could go all day long making fun of those ladies. But they're everything I aspire to be those Housewives don't take s***, and I can learn from them. We can learn from them
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@TheComedyCouch
You
@BriannaAhlmark
Brianna Ahlmark
@BriannaAhlmark · 0:22
Also, Jackie, if you want to meet up together and try flipping tables just for a fun activity. I've always wanted to flip a table, but I've never really had either the reason or the right table to flip, so I don't know. I think feel like maybe that should be sort of like people go play laser tag. Why can't people go and flip tables? Maybe that's bad. It's
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@dapperdoctor
Lindsay Davis
@dapperdoctor · 1:08
Okay. I do think it's very important to stand up for yourself. I am also working on not being a doormat to other people because when I express myself, then people know know how I feel and the lines of communication are open. But really, I do want to go back to ice cream because I think it's important that, you know, the best flavors are Ben and Jerry's Mint. Oh, shoot. It's an Oreo with Mint. It's just Oreos and Mint
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@TheComedyCouch

@sillylily8

Lily, you are cracking me up because I know you nanny all the time. And I always want to tell all these little kids off, like adult style, and sometimes I can control it. And sometimes I don't. And then when I go off on like a six year old, they look at me like you need a hobby
@michaylayoung
Michayla Young
@michaylayoung · 0:42

@sillylily8 #peoplepleasers

So, Lily, whenever you're available. Girl, let me know so we can schedule our therapy sessions together because I have the same problem. I do not like making people upset. Angry. Anything with me, even though people get upset with me for nothing. Now, Lily, I'm the same girl that will go to the nail salon. Hate the color, hate the shape, just hate the overall work. But you think I'll tell the lady who just slaved there for an hour?
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@jackiefern
Jackie Fernandez
@jackiefern · 0:35

@BriannaAhlmark

I would love to go flip tables with you. I've actually flipped a table when I was in high school. I was very upset that my dad wouldn't let me hang out with my friends. And I flipped a table, and it was a glass table. As soon as he exited the room, I flipped it over, and he came immediately back in. And he's like, what happened? And I go, oh, I tripped over this table as glass is shattered everywhere
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@BriannaAhlmark
Brianna Ahlmark
@BriannaAhlmark · 0:45

Loud yard work

I'm just, like, all right, I'm going to bed, and then you can take your chocolate with you. And then speaking of impulses again, I'm like moving into this new place that I'm staying at right now. And they're doing a lot of yard work next door, and it keeps interrupting me every time that I try to send something in here. And so I'm having a lot of impulses to just scream out
@michaylayoung
Michayla Young
@michaylayoung · 0:30

#housewife

If Lily and Brianna are going to flip tables, I'm coming, too, because being a housewife is on my back burner. That's my back burner job, to be exact. I've been studying them ladies for years. I can already flip tables like Theresa. I can already s***** wigs like Porsche. And them. I'm ready. You just need Comebacks 24/7 if you're not quick on young feet, that's how you lose your seat
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@TheComedyCouch

#opic

I don't want to say I hit a pole, but there was a parking lot scenario, so of course, my mind automatically went to blame. If I didn't get put off my trail, this wouldn't have happened. And this and that and the other thing. Of course, we have no control of any of that. It's just what happens in life. You can't pretend if you took one step, one way or the next, something wouldn't happen
@dapperdoctor
Lindsay Davis
@dapperdoctor · 1:20
Okay. First of all, I'm on the East Coast, so obviously, I am already awake from my morning nap. So you mean if you can't can't control if Anthony hadn't asked for something, you wouldn't have gotten into an accident. Like you were distracted thinking about what other people wanted. I could see that I don't personally need other people to get distracted and run into parked objects. Cause I've hit many parking poles
@sillylily8
Lily Warner
@sillylily8 · 0:41
There's a $10 tip because I feel bad, but, like, I just can't. And I just feel really bad for Dapper doctor because she just wants to talk about food, and we're not going there for her. So, yeah, that's just my responses to all that I am literally dying
@TheComedyCouch
I love you all, dearly. If you want to catch a couple of these lovely ladies, they all have a show on April 21 on Zoom. It's on eventbrite. If you're interested in coming to see it, check out my Instagram Leslie Wolf is the photo bomb. And there's the link in the bio this week was great. I feel much better. Thanks for joining. Keep on talking. Don't stop
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@BriannaAhlmark
Brianna Ahlmark
@BriannaAhlmark · 1:31
But I look back now and I'm like, Why did my mom ever let me do anything like that? If that was my kid, I would have slapped her across the face and they're like, no, you're going to have no party at all, or you're going to make sure that everybody that you invite is also going to sleep over. But I was so like, I just love the exclusivity. I don't know. I just felt like a fourth grade powerhouse
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@dapperdoctor
Lindsay Davis
@dapperdoctor · 0:31
Thank you, Lily. It's important. Got derailed. And then I derailed myself. And I'm also curious about what everyone keeps in their bedside table because chocolate chips are in my just a bag of chocolate chips. Also croutons. There's also croutons in my bedside table. Anyone else? Any food problems? Just me. Bye
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@michaylayoung
Michayla Young
@michaylayoung · 0:36

#icecreamparlor

Now I was still going to wait if it was only for me, but the fact that he wanted the ice cream, and now I got to wait for him. Him. It's all his fault. Like, why would you send me to the ice cream parlor when it's all crowded
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@jackiefern
Jackie Fernandez
@jackiefern · 0:19

@TheComedyCouch

Love you, Leslie. Thank you so much for hosting this show. You did an amazing job introducing us to this cool app and just being an overall Daddy mom, Queen comedian. And I just thank you for everything. Everything that you have done. This has been so much fun. I've loved the stories
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