@TheComedyCouch

Sesssion 4

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Hey, everybody, TGIF and happy last day of winter. Let's get the party started. On session four of two dope minutes. Today, you'll be hearing from the delightful Gene Bone, the gloriously, handsome Sean was the Baker with the mostis Diego Nierra, the High and mighty Rachel Canada, and the sloth loving Sarah Mullis. You do not want to miss this amazing session

@Sarahmullis@canadarachel@seanfawaz@jenny_kneebone@LordBakington

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@jenny_kneebone
Jennifer Kneebone
@jenny_kneebone · 2:22

Why I’m still single...

It's like now I understand how my therapist feels, and honestly, I'm worried about the pandemic ending, because that's been my excuse for why I haven't been dating lately. And once it's over, I'll have to admit the truth, which is that I'm lazy. I don't want to have to date. I just want a girlfriend to spring into existence, fully formed on my sofa. Allah Athena breaking her way out of Zeus's skull
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@seanfawaz
Sean Fawaz
@seanfawaz · 2:13

Single guy in an all-female acting class

So right now I'm in this acting class where it's me along with seven white women. Sounds like every young man's dream, right? Quite the opposite, actually. In fact, it's awkward as h***, because first of all, it's on Zoom. So I know the vibe would be way different if it were in person
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@canadarachel
Rachel Canada
@canadarachel · 1:59

TSA is afraid of spreadables.

We're going to have to touch your tips about it. And sure, fine. Go for it. It's the most action I've had in. Let's see, February 13, 2020 to now, I don't know, over a year, so fine. I'm all for it. But why can't it be the hottie with the obvious mommy issues as opposed to, like, the frumpy short one with the uni b***? Whatever
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@Sarahmullis
Sarah Mullis
@Sarahmullis · 2:19

Sloths are horrible

Lovely. So funny. She says that I love Sloths. And let me tell you something. I f****** hate Sloths. Okay? You know, Sloths, the monkey legged van driving child molesters of the animal Kingdom. Sloths are nature versions of home school kids that grow up to be serial killers. And everyone thinks they're so cute, but they're not cute. They're under your bed
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@LordBakington
Diego Neira
@LordBakington · 2:13

Apparently I'm old now!

I understand now why people do it now. The real breaking point came on my birthday. I recently turned 24. I'm feeling surprisingly not like a dumpster fire in this really nice Tshirt, and I decided to post a selfie beg mistake. So there I am on Twitter asking everyone how old I looked because I needed a confidence boost, and typically I go to social media for validation like we all do. Come on, it's 2021. So I post and I get a load of comments
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Swell user mugshot
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