Couch Session 7 - integrity
You guys, I am so excited for session seven of the Comedy Couch. Boy, do I need the couch today? I cannot wait to talk to my five fabulous comics about what you ask. The topic for today is integrity. Let's talk
Lauren, it's so interesting that you bring up peoplepleasing because I was just talking about how hard it is for me to say no, and I don't know if it's just for women or women and men, but saying no feels like such a death sentence. I had an experience yesterday yesterday where I got an opportunity, and I've always loved a goofy opportunity or any opportunity to humiliate myself. But for some reason yesterday I just said no and trust. I struggled with it all night long
Monika Casey
@MonikaCasey · 0:40
I can 1000% relate to being flexible with my integrity depending on, yeah, my own personal boundaries, the pros and cons. I feel like everything is negotiable and we have to pick and choose our battles. And I think I have pretty good integrity most of the time. But yeah, there's definitely times where I kick myself the a** like, oh, God, you shouldn't have done that
Mari Crawford
@marii.crawford · 1:02
But I do think that in terms of day to day and on a wider scale, compromising integrity is something that women do a lot. But integrity is also an awesome thing, and it's super important. And again, artists need it and they have it
Govind Kumar
@govkumar · 0:44
We are asking us to do so many things that sometimes feel like against that instinct. But that's what having communities about and hopefully being raised well
Monika Casey
@MonikaCasey · 0:45
And I don't know about you, Leslie, but especially us being moms of young women. That's something it's like who forgot to teach us about that. Like I feel like that's something our parents probably just didn't cover because they also themselves didn't know how to handle it or weren't really as progressive as they could have been. And so, yeah, that would be bringing up all sorts of things for me about how I can have that talk instead of just the sex talk
ashleigh Stanczak
@franizooey · 1:33
I'm really wanting to just dismantle that and tear it down because it's really exhausting to me. And I feel like I know so many female friends who it just ruins their health or their work. It's hard to find happy in between
Govind Kumar
@govkumar · 0:59
Yeah. I mean, that makes me think of integrity, talk and people pleasing and trying to raise children. I'm sure in a world where we are always seeking validation, right. Like I remember in the old days of Facebook just liking things. And now how many followers you have, even the word follower? Like, how many followers do you have? As if everyone is a religion unto themselves. But they did integrity. I think it's really a substituted substance
Monica. Yes. Oh, my God. It's something that we need to teach our children. And I was definitely never taught boundaries. In fact, my mother never really had boundaries with me. And that could be the root of the boundary issue to but I think all mothers want to feel highly connected to their kids. And I think that sometimes includes no boundaries
Mari Crawford
@marii.crawford · 0:30
I really like what you said, Monica, about picking and choosing battles because there are so many of them. And like, it's it's so true. And it made me think differently about a lot of things. But yeah, it's like it takes time, it takes time. I'm accommodating everyone, and then you need your own time. And I'm not a mother, but I can only imagine and I'm babysat before, but I know that's not the same at all
ashleigh Stanczak
@franizooey · 1:23
And in some ways, we kind of have to just to get by. But I think the power of intuition is very important, and it's just never wrong. It's never wrong because it's just what you feel like, how can what you feel be wrong? And how can you feel something is unsafe or doesn't feel good or how can that actually be wrong? It's so funny
Govind Kumar
@govkumar · 1:17
First of all, I want to say, Mari, no, babysitting is not the same as having a child. Okay, I'm just kidding. I am obsessed with this whole conversation, especially what Ashley just said, but that we start talking about boundaries and now we're talking about and intuition. And this is really cathartic for me as someone who Lesley recently said, who has no boundaries, even just as a guy. Obviously, all of this is so resonant, and it's interesting
Monika Casey
@MonikaCasey · 1:07
I concur intuition. The all around truth teller. That is one thing that, you know, men and women, all of us. That's your answer always, however you feel. Yeah, it can't be wrong. I totally agree with you. And even sometimes we ignore it
I hope I'm not too riddled with anxiety. Isn't it fascinating? It's a total if this and what it's if we're like this in the doctor's office, where else are we going to completely abandon our own needs to make other people feel comfortable
Govind I am loving your responses, but what I love the most is the tweeting of birds in the back and I'm just envisioning you like a Disney Prince with a little animated bird landing on your finger as you pontificate about how many followers you have on Instagram. I'm obsessed
Mari Crawford
@marii.crawford · 1:03
Ashley, you are blowing my mind, like, all that you're saying is so true. And it's interesting because, like that's been my intuition to think that. But then I've been like, oh, no. But it's probably not right. Like, I should probably, you know, get someone's approval or something. And then also it is real. And why is it there?
Wow, Ashley. Head explosion. People pleasing ourselves. That's genius. I love what you said about if it's we're going with our gut, how can we be wrong? Like, how can we even people please ourselves to convince ourselves ourselves that we're not even capable of leading ourselves? This is really hitting me on the couch today. Thank you, Ashley
ashleigh Stanczak
@franizooey · 1:48
And I think that may be why I chose to be a director, because I don't have to please anybody. Mean, I guess I do in some levels. I have to please, like, the client or the production company or whatever. But there's not a lot of it's definitely not the most people pleasing profession in entertainment
ashleigh Stanczak
@franizooey · 0:34
Of all my activities, I made a schedule and a binder of everything I was Govind to do. I that has nothing to do. We're talking about. But it just reminded me of something a class President would do
Ashley, please put me on the pre list. Book order for your book. Little decisions. I am dying. Gotta make the decisions little so you can conquer them. I love it
Monica Casey, I am so loving your perspective. And I've always turned to you on a friendship basis as somebody who has a very strong head on her shoulder that makes decisions that are great for her. So thank you for joining us on the couch today. It's been amazing listening to your perspective
Mari, I'm obsessed with your voice. You need to be on NPR. Thank you for being so open and ready to be part of the vibe. I'm so happy you're in my life
Hey, there the res. Lauren Resnick. Thank you for joining us today. And I'm so excited that you're going to be in the next round of Fresh Faces because you are a breath of comedy. Fresh honesty, air. Thanks for sharing your perspective today. I really enjoyed all of them
Govind, you are a magical Prince. I'm so happy you joined us today on the couch. You guys, everybody feel free to keep adding more comments and more ideas. This has been an amazing session. Thank you so much, everyone, for joining Lauren. Monica, Govind, Mari, Ashley, everybody. I hope I didn't forget anybody. I'm obsessed. And now I'm actually feeling the catharsis I was looking for. Thank you. Bye
ashleigh Stanczak
@franizooey · 0:55
Lauren, I was just listening to what you were saying about, like asking for advice on how to stay true to yourself or your own integrity. And I feel like I don't know for me it's not that I always just do that, but I know that I'm always able to do that. But I feel like it's like allowing yourself to feel a little uncomfortable because I think people pleasing at the moment is so much easier and comfortable
ashleigh Stanczak
@franizooey · 0:23
Yeah. Leslie, this is awesome. I love like a good girl talk. A girl talk plus Govind, which sounds like a great podcast. I'd loved hearing everyone's perspective and getting to talk and share. I think it's really great and I wish we did more of this, like all the time
Govind Kumar
@govkumar · 1:16
It makes me think of this idea that I've always thought about that there's a residue that is invisible when you interact just in the way that people doctors can find residue internally from what you eat or how the physical exercise. There's also this invisible residue from your interactions. And I love that Monica was saying how she mothers and teaches her child. And I was so inspired
Govind Kumar
@govkumar · 0:20
Yes, Lesley, thank you so much, so grateful to have met you and also have this conversation with such lovely people. And thank you so much. And girl talk with Gove is already in my I have a Google Doc Open title. Okay. Bye guys
Mari Crawford
@marii.crawford · 0:26
All. Leslie, I'm so happy you're in my life, too. Yeah. I'm really grateful to have met you. Thank you so much for asking me to do this. And thanks everyone else for saying such insightful things. And it was just really helpful honestly, to hear different artists. And obviously, you guys all have such a passionate view of the world. So your insights were really nice to listen to