Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:51
What Were You Told About Interracial Dating? What Do You Think Now? Let's talk about it!!
Interracial day dating, interracial marriages, what were you taught to believe about how acceptable they were? Was it okay for you to date outside of your race? Were you told that it was not okay and it was not acceptable and that it was bad? Did you embrace what you were told when you became an adult and got to make your own decisions, or did you rebel against them and choose your own path? What reaction was that met with from those that told you it was unacceptable?
H3rSpac3 Podcast
@H3r_Spac3 · 4:49
Hey, Renee. This is her space. And I'm just listening to your story and your question about the interracial dating. And to answer that, I have never, ever dated a sorry. Wouldn't mind doing it if it was presented to me like love is love. I don't care what you look why, I do care what you look like, but doesn't matter what race you are
Carly D
@Astroality · 3:47
Or we're going to turn a blind eye to whatever. We're going to turn on some deaf ears to what people have to say, and we're just going to kind of live by example, live through love. Right, I think is kind of the thing I'm thinking through here. So that's my personal opinion on it. Again, thanks so much for being a part of my community. Thanks for bringing this up. I'm excited to see what everyone has to say about it
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:08
But to mention, too, you said, you know, people that date outside of their race so that they can have babies, mixed babies, because mixed babies are beautiful. Every mixed baby that I've ever, ever come across is gorgeous. But to date for that reason, that cannot be the only reason, like, that cannot be
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:15
And I think he suffers from a little paranoia anyway. But he would point out people staring and wouldn't go to certain bars or clubs or places with me, period. And I asked him, I was like, what is it that you think is going to happen? Because one of the clubs that he wouldn't go to, I had been to and hung out with black friends. There was people there that were of different races. But it's also a little country bar
H3rSpac3 Podcast
@H3r_Spac3 · 4:28
And once I find a video, I'm going to play it for you so you can listen to it. Or I would just give you the link so you can go check it out. But yes ma'am, there are people women let me stop saying people. Men too
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:36
Because I think I've I've read or I don't remember where I saw it, but a couple of times where I've seen something about within the black community, certain shades are considered more beautiful than others. Why? Like, f****** why? And why lighter? Is it because it's, like, more white? Because why? White people did black people completely f****** wrong. So why? Maybe you know why?
Carly D
@Astroality · 2:32
And it's just like what you're saying. I don't want to be in a situation where I ever have to feel like, oh, we can't go a certain place because certain people might find out or we might run into certain people, or people aren't going to like it, people aren't going to agree. But I think it's a conversation and a commitment that has to be made upfront that like, no, whatever happens, whatever comes, you're worth it either way
H3rSpac3 Podcast
@H3r_Spac3 · 4:51
She's just going to be giving him h***, and all she wants is to spend his money and whatever and whatnot. So that's what man, I think that's the reason why man dates outside of race as well, because they feel like they think all women is not the same, which is we're not. We're not. But a lot of men don't realize all women don't put up with bullshit
H3rSpac3 Podcast
@H3r_Spac3 · 4:58
Okay. So I also want to say about the stereotyping situation and I have had men, I used to work with a lot of men. And I had a man told me the reason why he dates outside his race. And like I told you, he says because all black women is lazy and all they are is full of drama. Which is true some, but that's all women
Hi, Renee. Wow, this is such a great question. You are going to get so many responses. Yeah. So I would say for me, I was definitely brought up, raised to I guess I was taught that it was not okay for me to date outside of my race, which is really ironic because my mom is half Japanese and my dad is white. My mom is born in Japan. So it was interesting how the rationale worked for my dad's side of the family
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:58
Okay, wait. What's wrong with being in a neighborhood full of black people, number one? And then number two, why would this man assume that we would only want to be in a neighborhood filled with black people, right? And that's a whole different swell for a different day. We're talking about interracial relationships. Now, once I reached dating age, my father looked me straight in the eye
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:42
And, girl, he showed up on the date with a cold sore, and I could not continue at that point. And so I've not dated a white man since he was the first and the last. And then it, like, cemented my whole and I'm saying this very lightly to the people that are listening that white people be having the cold sores is normalized. Is normalized, and that the s*** is not normal
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:06
And afterwards, we went out to eat, and then we walked DC and went to all the monuments and things of that nature. And her and her son. There was one monument that has all the flags around it. I can't remember the name of the United Nations monument. Anyway, the people that are into history, y'all know which one I'm talking about. And there's, like, some water. Well, her and her son are split
DAYDAY Mcclenton
@KINGPOPOFLA · 3:38
And it shouldn't be like that. If your child is happy with that person, let them be happy. Accept that. But if nowadays not too many people can, we still got to grow. We still got to learn, you know what I'm saying? But that's just my outlook on the whole interracial thing, you know what I'm saying? To me, it's not a good it's not a bad thing. It's just in the middle right there
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:05
Someone else might say, oh my gosh, that person is drop dead gorgeous. So we all have our own perceptions of what beauty is and is not. And so when it comes down to relationships, no matter the race, just be a good person, have humble curiosity, seek to understand, believe the best of intent versus the worst of intent. And those are the qualities that I believe provide a great foundation for a really meaningful and significant relationship. And that's all that I have to add
I was four or five years old. The chewing officers, they had them back then, came and snatched us out of where our school was in temple in the city. Brought us back, and we started kindergarten. Fast forward. I grew up in a mixed area, more predominantly white. Everybody went to the same skate ranking. When it was couple skate, it wasn't heat wave, it was journey. And everybody was waiting. I've been waiting, and we dealt with it
I have never dated out of my race because I've never made it an issue, too. I have never said I'm going out here and I'm trying to find me a white girl or whatever. Never have, never will. But if that comes along as much as see, maybe I'm corny, but I believe in all that. I believe in chivalry. I believe in a man's code. I believe in standing up for those who can't stand up for themselves
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 3:34
I've always been a questions person. I need information. So I asked them why? Why do you only date white women? And they gave me that answer of the attitude, right? That black women's attitudes are just overpowering and they don't want to deal with it, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, Are you attracted to black women? And they said, yeah, until we get the attitude. Okay? So it's not an attraction thing to me
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 1:25
I think it's just so f***** up that society has put upon us this theme of the shade of your skin makes you more valuable or less valuable even within that race and outside of that race, like defining beauty as a lighter shade, like, that's so f***** up. Like there is beauty in all the shades, all the colors. People are closing their minds off to some serious beauty
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:14
And I remember the moment that I decided I was not going to go back to church and I have since then, but not to this one. There was actually a preacher that was at the pulpit that stuck out his rear end and puffed out his lips and trying to imitate a black person, make fun of a race as he spoke God's word. And I will never forget the impact that that had on me and wow. Like, wow, never went, never went there again
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:46
I don't know that it's all a sexual thing, but I can appreciate the fact that you get them tests before you dabble. And I think it's so f***** up that Tom Cruise had to have one on that last date. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That has to suck. What are you attracted to? I think that's what it boils down to
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:10
I can also get where it's harder because of how it's accepted of you then have to deal with other people's perceptions of your relationship when you're in an interracial relationship and have children that are blended things of that nature. But I try to be firm in what I believe. So if someone has an issue with me being with someone outside of my race, and I don't strictly date outside of my race, just to be clear, I find beauty in all things
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:07
And I love everything you said about being with who you're with and knowing yourself and bringing the best of the relationship and letting people be who they are. 100%. 100%. So I prefer white ice cream with some chocolate on top. That vanilla with chocolate. Or let me think or just straight chocolate ice cream, to be honest. But it is what it is. You get me out in the dating world, and I'm just open
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 3:00
There is such strength within the black culture because of what you've been through. And those stereotypes that are put on the black man about being strong and not being able to seek help are so wrong. They're so wrong. And that is stereotypes for I know for sure, Hispanic men as well. A lot of the white men share that same stuck in a stereotype thing where man can't cry
Jordan Tepper
@JordanTepper · 3:39
But as for like, my prom date was from Trinidad, but she doesn't see herself as black. She sees herself as Eastern Indian from the East Indies. That's how I see her too, because that's who she is. I do like black women. I never dated one, but yeah, it's a really hard subject. So I think it was because my parents saw that my brother, whose special needs may never get married and I guess they just, they're old fashioned
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 1:47
But these boxes that we are taught, these jones that we are put in, keep us from doing the one thing that we should all do. And it's exactly what you said, what you finished with. It's just love everyone. And if you find beauty in something, you find beauty in it. And don't allow others influence to influence your love of whatever beauty you find
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:55
As we walk around DC and I saw water was like, let's splash around in it. So it's just all these differences that we want to come and know. Right. And I'm glad you got the answer to the one question you asked me in the initial response, which is, was I not talking to any set of race? No, look, I acknowledge that there are attractive people in all races
Jordan Tepper
@JordanTepper · 3:53
I'm in insurance and I want to be able to help everyone. And I have that ability to but also I want to have that credibility and coming in as a friend. As for the religious side, I also grew up. I am the first person to make fun of my Jewishness as well. I look on social media and there's jokes about Jewish moms, and I eat it up because usually it's true. I look at my mom and my mother in law
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:50
And it's one thing that when I had teams reporting to me, I even looked at I want diversity on my team, and even had to have a meeting with my team about that, because when they heard me say that, they were like, oh, it means you're only going to hire black people. I was like, no, expand your horizon, love, expand, expand your knowledge, expand your breadth of what the word means
Jordan Tepper
@JordanTepper · 4:22
We started out the same day where I'm in insurance, and so I come from an outside sales background, haven't sold insurance. The person that came in, he came from a claims background and not a sales background. And he and I actually got along really great. We're both not at that job anymore, but we became almost best friends. We couldn't work without each other
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:24
I want to see how different cultures discuss the different events going on right now, because I haven't been exposed to a whole, whole lot in that realm. So I just appreciate your answer. And you know what, honey? If if olive and dark skin is what you enjoy, then that is absolutely preference and we are all entitled to what we prefer
Sara Jones
@luminouSouL · 4:58
I had a couple of family members present it to me like this, if you want to date outside of your race, it's going to be hard, and you're going to make the rest of the family look bad. And I remember hearing that conversation sitting at a kitchen table, and I thought, wow, why would I be worried about how the family looks? I don't know, because everybody's got skeletons, so that wasn't a big concern
Sara Jones
@luminouSouL · 4:40
To learn something new and hear something different, and even to this day, learning something new for both of us, it's quite interesting. Definitely keeps our household on its toes, the amount that we can learn from each other
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 3:18
It's okay. I love, love, love that you hopped in on this, but I have to take a moment before I hit the real Renee to say, you have the most beautiful face. I don't know what it is, but you looks like a little pixie. And I love it. Like, you have such a beautiful face, and I love what you do with your makeup in that picture. I'm sorry. I have issues. There we go. Okay