And she asked me that, how come is it such a big deal that mom has kept her bait in surname and also added Dad's name or how come dad never added Mom's name? And I thought that in society, patriarchy has been so normalized that it's very rare. Of course, these days, more and more women don't change their surname or don't add their husband's name. But it's always been a question. What happens to the kids, whose name do they take?
Karan Dev
@Karan.Dev · 1:35
And it's crazy how patriarchy has evolved to take newer forms, even in 2021. But thanks, thanks again for sharing that anecdote and that very interesting. Swell
Anirban Dhar
@onir · 1:11
Thank you, Karan, for your comment and the story about Sabitri Bhai fujlai during the entire lockdown period. One of the things that used to really amuse me. And again, it's all about how women are sort of internalized patriarchy is how very often everyone would make such a big deal about a man stepping into the kitchen as if it's some big achievement, or as if they should earn a gold medal, because finally, they have made a cup of tea or learn to make an omelet
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Karan Dev
@Karan.Dev · 0:59
And all of these projects, like patriarchy and caste, are psychological in nature, which is why they are able to stay strong and still be around after how many of those centuries they've been around for it's hard to even trace back the roots to all of this. I had one question for you on here. Who would you consider as a defining thinker or someone that you think everyone should know about? This doesn't necessarily have to be a feminist thinker or someone like that
Anirban Dhar
@onir · 2:15
I kind of don't really have an answer for that because I didn't really have to read or listen to any particular thinker philosopher to shape the way. I think the biggest influence has been in a way my father because of the way actually father and other but more father because I think he was someone who defied the rules of patriarchy much more than even at times. Mom would like right from childhood. All three of us myself, my sister and brother. We've been brought up equally
Hey Onir. Hey, Karen. You guys seem to be having a great conversation going on in here, and I just wanted to chime in and share some of my thoughts. So I came across this article as I was reading up about this topic, and there apparently was a historical reason why a child was supposed to take his or her father's name. And that reason was just to prove the father's identity as such. And I think it was a Jewish practice, basically
Sreeja V
@Wordsmith · 3:39
Happy Saturday morning, everyone. And this is one discussion I just enjoy getting into. So, you know, Interestingly, there are many matriarchal societies around the world and there are matriarchal practices in India itself, one of them being the Marumakatayam culture in Kerala, where women are sort of perpetrators of the lineage. Other familial property is passed on to the woman. She is seen as a hair. Other hair is rather of the property and her children will subsequently inherit it
Anirban Dhar
@onir · 1:58
But I think slowly we all should start thinking about it. And I hope you do get back your matriarchal surname back your mother's surname, back to your name someday
Anirban Dhar
@onir · 1:17
I feel that that is what has been slowly, not erased because patriarchy slowly took over with colonialism. I feel one of the things that got destroyed in many parts of India, like the Northeast and in Kerala, is this whole system of matriarchy because we adapted to the British way of surnames among various various other things