I kind of understand why women might be going in this extreme direction. I don't advocate for it whatsoever, but I do understand why some women are just like, well, screw it. I'll just live my life and not worry about these men. Because everywhere I turn, you know, I'm not good enough for this, I'm not good enough for that. I'm too old. I'm too fat. I'm too this, I'm too that
Michael Knight
@MK1981 · 4:31
I mean, yes, like, you know, sometimes men will give attention to women who have bbls and all the, you know, all the work done on Instagram. Like, they'll like a picture, or they might be maybe aroused by a woman like that, but no one's itching to walk down the street with that woman hand in hand. Like, those kind of women are not the type of women that anybody really wants to commit to
Robert Jenkins
@Guruball1 · 4:41
Do you realize how many people broke up because vogue or Cosmopolitan said they weren't compatible because they didn't pass some written test that some person, nondescript person, made up in their house and said, yeah, this is the way it's supposed to be, and that's it. Then you get these ads where, oh, how to make your man happy written by a woman. What men want, written by a woman
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 4:26
First of all, I'm no longer the 21 year old hottie I used to be. And secondly, I've come to terms with myself on a mental level where before, when I was attractive, I found myself downplaying my ability to think, to fit into whatever mold the guy wanted me to be. Now, that's a personal problem. I realized that. But that's what I was raised into doing, right? You. You please the man. You do this for the man
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 4:32
But to make a long story short, I do understand why decentering men is a thing, but with every movement, we got to be careful that we're not being extreme, because you begin to paint every person with one brush. Every man is not the same. Every man is not. Not out to get you. Every man is not evil. So you don't want to put these messages out there as if men is the sole problem in this universe, in this world
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 2:30
They might get along just fine, but as long as they're true to themselves in what they like. For example, I typically, I, I don't wear makeup, and I don't like, do my hair fancy or wear really cute clothes or anything like that. You know, back in the day, I was an exotic dancer and I got tired of applying my makeup five times a day, right? So I don't wear makeup at all unless I have to make an appearance somewhere
Michael Knight
@MK1981 · 4:48
So I don't get why we have to do this with men, because, like, whether we see it or experience it personally doesn't mean that we understand the entirety of everything, right? Like, I. I know for a fact that me as a man, there's certain things I never experienced in the same way a woman does. Like, I don't
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 1:32
Thank you very much for your insight and also for including me in your post because I feel like you're a very intelligent person and I like my circle of friends to include intelligent people so thanks again. Bye
Michael Knight
@MK1981 · 4:08
But it's like, then I started looking at the numbers for gay men. And if gay men are actually suffering domestic violence at a lesser rate, than is it men that are the problem here? Because if it were men, then I would expect to see a higher rate of domestic violence and sexual assault amongst gay men. I don't know. I mean, I'm just like, sorry. I'm, like, thinking it through as I'm reading it and talking to you right now
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:47
They have their pick of women, but they tend to go for these super hot women that aren't even trying to give them the time of day. And then they blame that on all women. I'm like, no, you're trying to go after the top 10% of women, and they're not checking for you because those top 10% of women know they can get the top 10% of men. So they're not trying to get with you
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:49
I agree 100%. I don't take advice from women about what men want. I don't want to hear that from a woman at all, because she does not have the man's brain and mentality. She does not. She does not have a man's outlook on life, a man's outlook on relationships, marriage, family, none of that stuff. She cannot give a male perspective. And so when these women write these articles, I get it
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:32
Now I do understand, you know, like I said in my original swell, why some women are at the place of decentering men, as they call it. They're tired of being judged. They're tired of being told that they fall short of every metric. You know, I'm tired of hearing terms like sexual marketplace value
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:12
You guys that, well, you ladies that want to stay over there on that island where, you know, you are swearing off men, and like you said, the women can't even agree on that. You know, they can't even, you would think, since all of them have made such a radical choice with their life, that they would find comfort and support with one another
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 1:39
Hi, MJ. Thank you for responding to me. I don't know if the factions or the arguments between the makeup wears and the non makeup wears. I'm not sure if it's breaking down the movement totally or not. I haven't been keeping up with it, so hopefully it's just, you know, agreed to disagree type of thing within their group. So, yeah, you're absolutely right. And also, I linked here to the article that I wrote about it
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 2:53
Hey, Tanya, you brought up a really good point. If there are women out there decentering men, that means that men were the center of their world. And as a married woman, God always comes first and then my husband, so. But even before that, I had great examples from women in my family who, they didn't desert her men. They just, you know, they desire marriage and family and things like that. But it wasn't something that they obsessed over, so
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 4:54
And for two years straight, I climb on the back of a horse. I feel like I'm following every instruction from all of the teachers that I've been paying for two years to teach me to do this. And for some unforeseen reason, after two years and thousands of dollars thrown out the window trying to get training and trying to do it right, I cannot stay on a horse. I can't. It just throws me every time
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 4:58
I think that going back to cavemen days or earlier days or whatever, and still today, that men have this testosterone that just makes them think differently. They think, act first, you know, push the whatever it is out of the way, pick up whatever it is, use that strength, get in there, do this, right? Because they have that strength. And so that testosterone takes over and utilizes that strength, whereas women don't have that strength
Michael Knight
@MK1981 · 4:53
But from what I've read and what from other people have told me, it's basically like, if you look at the swiping, it's. I think it was something where it's like men swipe right or swipe yes to about 54, or about 50% of the women they see on a dating site. And for women, they swipe yes to only 5%
Michael Knight
@MK1981 · 2:09
So I don't really think that's, like, a good depiction of dating or how people actually rate each other or date each other. And I always think about stuff like that. If people are going to sit there with the balloon and pop it as you come out, that is not somebody you want to date. That is not somebody that's going to lead to anything. That's just an attention getting scheme or a way for people to get more followers on Instagram
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:12
I love being able to bounce my ideas or bounce my troubles off of a male. I had, I have a male to gynecologist. I need male energy in my life. I surround myself with both men and women for their respective roles. So yeah, it's annoying to me. And I'm also a mother of sons, so I'm like, we're not doing this. We're not doing this, y'all. I'll say one other thing
Michael Knight
@MK1981 · 3:10
Because what I'm noticing a lot, even on this swell, or in general, is that a lot of the times when women talk about men, it's in this abstract way because they don't have any close personal relationship with men. So we become this kind of disembodied monster that they have in their minds but don't know of in reality. And I would say the same thing of a lot of men, too
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 3:06
Because I even myself have experienced molestation. So it is what it is for a lot of men and women who were touched inappropriately. But some women have, just because they've been taught to scare men. Maybe because someone was badly hurt by a man. It just carries, carries, carries
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 3:55
I'm not gay, I'm not bisexual. I'm not even active at all and haven't been for 15 years. So I'm kind of the middle of this road blob of a person that's neither gender almost, but. But desensitized or decentering men, I don't believe in that either. And going back to the whole acceptance of people in general, to me, it's the way they treat me, it's the way they treat others. It's the way they behave
Michael Knight
@MK1981 · 4:23
Cause even like to your point, like also like, you know, I've been, you know, sexually harassed at work, I've been fondled, all that other kind of stuff and it's like we kind of laugh those things off and it's a very weird position to be in as a man because it's like well who do I talk to? Who do I tell? Who would actually listen to me?
Angela Kaye
@AnngieKaye · 4:42
I cannot lie. It was like I saw more intact families. I saw, you know, I went to school with kids whose parents have also gone to college while I'm first generation. And I saw like, oh, wow, this is. The parents are together. This is where their house is at. It's like I saw that way more often in. In the south, where I was at least, than I saw here in Connecticut
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 0:27
The article says, erika, that I am unable to read the link, the friend link, because it has expired. So I'm not sure what that means. I do know that it's trying to get me to sign up to be able to read your article, though, so
Michael Knight
@MK1981 · 4:28
And, look, I will never dissuade people from seeking out choices. I think love is a very beautiful thing. I fully support anybody finding it wherever they can. So this isn't kind of a, you know, stay within your own and marry and date with that, because I'd be incredibly hypocritical if I did say that. But it's this thing of, like, we can't get along on a just every day to day basis. And this obviously isn't everyone
Darrain …
@TheBriefOne · 1:20
You'd have to be a person who likes to ensure safe travels and not a fancy chariot type person. Yes, I do kind of agree in the sense that women should decentralize men. It's true. I mean, there should be a lot of things to do besides, I don't know, having a man within the central part of your consciousness, if that makes sense
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:05
It just sounds like a bunch of traumatized, hurt, broken women. It doesn't sound like women that are empowered. It sounds like women who have basically given up and quit and decided, okay, if I can't have the man that I want, then I'm just going to not do men, period. It's like, that does not sound appealing
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:08
And so I'm not saying that, you know, everybody else should ignore you until you get that man's attention, but definitely not at a place where. Where I would even consider decentralizing men to the point where I want only females and female voices in my life. No way. No way. I love men. I love their presence in my life. It's been necessary. It's helped me to grow as a woman
dee felton
@MrDee · 4:49
And sometimes, you know, people, they say, misery loves company. So you haven't found the guy who finds you attractive and wants to give you the world and just, you know, you want somebody to be on that ship with you. I mean, we all know the group of girls in high school, wherever it were, college, you had the girl who was, you know, most of the guys were more attracted to her or maybe one or two of the girls
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:52
And so even when you see a situation where women are being abusive towards men, physically abusive towards men, a lot of it has to do with a man restraining himself because he understands that his physicality will take out a woman even if he's not trying to do so. He can hit a woman, seriously hurt her without even trying to do so. And so when a woman is abusing a man, it's him holding back a lot of times to keep himself from being the abuser instead
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 4:31
So I guess when we're talking about which gender is more abusive towards children, it would depend on, you know, what kind of abuse, but yeah, yeah, I've known women that were physically abusive. So again, it doesn't matter if they're women, men, how they're abusing or whatever. It's just wrong to take advantage of another human being. At least that's my perspective. Absolutely my perspective. For any reason. No one should be undermining someone else
Michael Knight
@MK1981 · 4:47
When you grow up, all the guys are going to want you. You're going to look real good. Like, do you understand how, like, and rightfully so, people will recoil and be disgusted by that? But we don't seem to have the same energy when it's a young boy and it's coming from a woman
MJ Brewer
@Mommas_Jungle · 4:30
But thank you for your insight on this. I've known three men who have been in the position that you're talking about, and it's not pretty. And I think that it's not brought to light because they're embarrassed that a woman could, you know, take advantage of them. On the other hand, I think that women don't really come forward very often
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Shawna Kearsley
@OnAcornBay · 4:59
But then to really go, oh, well, I'm just gonna stop from the male gaze and I'm gonna stop this, and no man allowed. Seems mentally off balance to me. It seems you're cutting off move to an island, you know, you're siloing yourself. You're siloing your mind. You're siloing your ability to grow. You're siloing, you're siloing. It's crazy. It's cuckoo
Michael Knight
@MK1981 · 1:07
Like, is it an assumed thing that they're just going to know how to do this? Like, girls are just made perfect? I mean, as a woman, do you feel like you're a perfect human? You know what I mean? Like, I just kind of wonder, do we ever take the time to ask that question, what are we teaching our girls and how to interact and be around boys?
Shawna Kearsley
@OnAcornBay · 5:00
And one year to empowerment empowers young girls, middle school, high school girls for a whole year. It's an after school program and they have twelve amazing experiences. They learn how to change their tires on their car, do oil change. Oh, yeah. They come to me to learn how to do an oil change and they go, they learn boxing and you can imagine, they learn. And of course, financial literacy. So what are we teaching our girls?
Michael Knight
@MK1981 · 4:42
Like, maybe I should be breaking glass ceilings, but I don't give a shit about that. I want to be around my children. So after that noise, and I get it. I commend it, you know? So it's. And I think a lot of men would. Would like to have that option, too