And I've seen and heard statements made regarding women, and I agree with those statements, but those statements aren't really welcomed by women. A lot of times because they'll try to point out the exceptions, the outliers. They'll try to say, well, men do it too, and we don't often stand up and say, you know what? That's true
And so there's more explanations given or excuses given than apologies. And so if you look at, like, again, the synergy of two people in a relationship, this doesn't even have to be gender specific, right? Anybody who comes into a relationship and sees apologies as a sign of vulnerability and somebody else who feels like they're continuing to give themselves away piece by piece, instead of it being an apology given and received and then reciprocated, right?
Kalifa Thomas
@MayaDevi · 4:48
Because in love it gets very difficult sometimes to convey to people that the other person is human too. And you have needs, but you need to recognize that the person you're dealing with also they're human too. And if him saying, I'm sorry to you makes me feel good. And you're like, okay, baby, it's all squashed. Why can't you just take down and say that to him?
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 1:02
So I agree with you that a lot of times people do make excuses and they say, I'm sorry, but or I do this, but there's no but. It's just simply I'm sorry, or I was wrong for that. I think that sometimes we want to make excuses and have to have reasoning when there's no reasoning and there's no excuse that should be given when we're trying to apologize, because if so, they just kind of cancel it all out, I think
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:57
Well, let me just say ouch, okay? Because this one definitely stepped on my toes. I can honestly say that there was a time when I struggled apologizing, and my children used to laugh about it, and now they tease me because they like they kind of miss it because now I will say I'm sorry, or I will say I apologize, guys. And so now they're like, we miss it
So when I went back to school, when I really started putting applying myself, it was like, you know what I mean? Now, one time I was talking to the therapist, and I had it on speaker, and she was like, you know, the way you filled out your application and the way you talk, I believe you have a higher than average IQ. She's like I'm like, oh, what the I mean, I ain't taking no tests or nothing
Himanshi Thakur
@GreyMatter · 3:35
Now, this may sound a little controversial but yes, we have had our share of problems and issues society wise, culture wise and we still continue to face them on a daily basis. But we have been victimized a lot. And this thought of victimization always leads to the feeling of attack that we are being personally attacked all the time, which is not the case
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:02
Hey, Christina. Thank you so much for responding. I will say that as women, we don't have the liberty, if you will, to be who we are as women. And so men have the liberty to be their masculine selves. And women, we don't typically have the liberty to be our feminine selves because so much is being required of us as women to be a certain way, to have certain traits, to look a certain way
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:47
You have to concede that the other candidate won the election. Even if you don't feel like it was right, you have to concede and say, okay, fine. It is what it is. And I think that's something that we have to practice, too, even in relationships, by just being like, all right, in my mind, I still and agree, but okay, so be it. But thank you so much for your input. It was very valuable
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:18
Hey, SIS. Thank you for your response. You know, my dad struggles with apologizing. I know we're talking about women, but my dad my dad is you and my dad are a lot alike. He struggles a lot with apologizing. I remember one time he had a CD or something missing because my dad collects a lot of music and he has CDs, records, Hrax, Cassettes Girl Mike. He's got everything. And so a CD of his was missing
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:30
Hello, Himanshi. Thank you so much for responding to this. Well, Cast, I believe you're right as far as women always feel like they're being attacked and we do, we have a tendency to take everything as an attack. I used to struggle with this as well. I would always get into defense mode. I just assumed that anything that was being said to me to hold me accountable was an attack against my character, against my personality, whatever my intellect
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 2:35
I thank you for that. And it tanya it's funny because my dad was like that, too. My dad didn't apologize either, and he never apologized to me, even when I went and sat down and I was telling him how I felt about some things and how he had hurt me, and he was like, well, that's because that's just how you feel
Amy Murillo
@amymu89 · 2:31
People who don't apologize use it as a mechanism, as a coping, or as a mechanism to stay strong or not give in, maybe not lower their self value. I don't know how to word it, but you definitely opened my eyes to a few things. I do want to say one thing. Growing up in a Latino household, I know it's very common, especially with children of immigrant parents. Mike, myself, they don't apologize
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:27
But then I came to understand she wasn't apologizing or accepting guilt or anything like that for how I was feeling or what I was going through. She was just showing sympathy, and I appreciate her doing that. And yes, I think that a lot of women have been in spaces where they've had to over apologize. And so we have a tendency to feel like we're always being attacked. We're always having to fix something to make things right in situations
Wende Neen
@WNPerspectives · 1:50
I seeking. Palm, I actually agree with you on your thoughts on this particular subject. From my perspective, I think that sometimes if a female puts herself in a position to humble herself, to offer an apology, men tend to view that as being submissive, a sign of weakness, or I've broken them down to the point that they can sometimes want to take advantage of that
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:11
Hello, Wendy. Thank you so much for your wnperspectives. I hear everything that you're saying. I think that sometimes we have to be mindful not to allow pride to cause us to not admit that we have made a mistake