@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 1:06

Hot topic. Polyamory! Open to all opinions and viewpoints just please be respectful 🥰

So I've been trying to think of ways to put myself out there in this whole community, thinking of topics that could become pretty interesting and people have lots of opinions on. And I have one that usually generates a lot of negative associations. So we'll see about the community and swell and what you guys think and all that. So polyamory or the act of loving more than one person at a time. This is not polygamy

#alternativerelationships

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@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 0:17
Anyone have any insight on this topic? Don't be afraid. I don't bite as long as you're respectful, I completely understand where the negative associations come from with this topic. And yeah, just talk. Let's do this
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@Mtwadamela
Mtwadamela Ijogo
@Mtwadamela · 1:33
Well, this is a very, very interesting topic. I personally think that that polygamy and polyamory mispronounced it. I think those are really natural, more natural than monogamy. I think monogamy is something that's contrived and unnatural. I'm not saying that people can't be monogamous, but especially for men. Men are born. I believe naturally polygamous. We're hardwired for that. It's not to say we can't be monogamous. It doesn't take work to be ligaments for man
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@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 0:58
My philosophy on relationships and just pretty much anything is if you are an adult and it's consensual, then I'm 100% for it. It doesn't mean that I support all types of magnet or all types of polyamory because I believe that there are are such things as toxic monogamy, just as there is toxic polyamory. But it is not my job to say what is and isn't okay for you. So that's kind of how I feel about it
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@Mtwadamela
Mtwadamela Ijogo
@Mtwadamela · 1:04
Okay. I do have a couple of questions being that you say you've been polyamorous your whole adult life and you're not in a relationship currently. What does polyamory look like to you? Because when you say it, what do you mean by that? What type of relationships do you have and the guys that you have the relationships with, if it's more than one guy, do they know about it and how do they feel about it? And are they cool with it?
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@Mtwadamela
Mtwadamela Ijogo
@Mtwadamela · 0:39
And also I have another question, how many partners would you have at one time? What's the limit? What's? What's the maximum limit or the minimum? How would that work for you? Would you go two, three, four. Is there a limit? Because I know, like in a lot of polygamous marriages, the man can have, like, 50 wise if he can afford it. So what is it like for a woman in your position
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@ROCKYROX
Racquel Marks
@ROCKYROX · 0:10
Bottom line in the Black culture it? S being a player
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@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 3:00
That's not to say that I wouldn't be comfortable going further than three people. I would be open to it if my mental health and my current relationships that I had at that time, we're not suffering due to any miscommunications or anything that's happened. I want to always make sure that I'm in a secure position with other people that I'm in a relationship with before I enter a relationship with somebody else
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@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 0:17
Yeah. Rocky Rocks. I completely understand that I've gotten that before. I've gotten plenty of other colorful names way worse than Player, but yeah, thank you for your comment and feel free to stick around or ask any questions
@Mtwadamela
Mtwadamela Ijogo
@Mtwadamela · 2:14
Okay, so now here comes the obvious question. I'm sure it's on people's minds. If you're if you're with more than one guy in a relationship with more than one guy, let's say hypothetically, you're in a relationship with three guys. Okay. How are you keeping all of them sexually satisfied? Mentally satisfied? Do you understand the question? Do you consider yourself a nipomania? You consider yourself in a spin. You discovered polyamory
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@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 1:36
So for one, swinging is usually described as swapping partners. Although we have done that in the past, it's not something that we currently do. We prefer to keep our situation separate, as in everybody knows about each other. But I'm not dating the same people that my husband's date and he's not dating the same people that I'm dating, et cetera. As far as do I think I'm an info maniac. No, that's a hard word to say. Nimfomaniac
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@ROCKYROX
Racquel Marks
@ROCKYROX · 0:09
Bottom line, that? S being the Cuddy buddy
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@Mtwadamela
Mtwadamela Ijogo
@Mtwadamela · 1:09
Obviously, you say there's multiple guys. So you guys are not all living in the house, same house. So how many of you are living in the same house? If any of you are living in the same house, if you are going to have a life partner, could you have a life partner that you didn't live with or several life partners that you don't live with? That's the newcomer not sent to me. I'm just curious. I'm just asking it's
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@EvoPodcast
June Adams
@EvoPodcast · 4:44
But you all couldn't see each other for a while. You dated somewhere else and stuff. And now you're a new person saying you have to block this person because you felt intensely for them. I don't believe that you should be able to do that, because whatever that person fed you while you were really hungry and really starving, that person then means a lot to you
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@EvoPodcast
June Adams
@EvoPodcast · 1:47
But you have to just like one. And some black men don't. Some women won like they won. And that's cool. Everybody's different. But most of us we like more than one. But we're demonized for the fact that we do, because then you got to compare all the other men of the world and stuff. And then they started saying, well, maybe they just been period or something because they didn't want us to be different from everybody else is what it is
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@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 2:50
As in like, if I ever got another partner, I would think that four adults and seven children was plenty of mouths to feed and plenty of people to have in one house. Also, this goes into personal preferences. Some people there are different types of polyamory. There are solo polyamory in particular, where people will have long distance relationships and keep them separate in locations, but they're just as committed
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@Mtwadamela
Mtwadamela Ijogo
@Mtwadamela · 3:51
But if you didn't have resources to take care of all their wives players, you better not even think about it. You better not think about it because they in traditional Africa. The woman runs the polygamous unit period. So when a lot of brothers outside of royalty that was trying to do that, trying to marry a bunch of women like that because you can't afford them. You better not get them
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@EvoPodcast
June Adams
@EvoPodcast · 3:43
One thing about people's relationship is a lot of people are actually in polygamous relationships right now, but they don't know it because it's not done the right way. If he's cheating, you know, there's no communication and stuff. And dudes won't be honest about what they want because they know the women are conditioned over here, not to like that. They're is. They think it should be like this. Like I said, it's about religion and everything, too
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@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 1:37
In my opinion, it is not easier for anybody to be polyamorous man or woman, saying that the reason why I know that is because my husband struggled a lot more with polyamory than I did, as does my friend and her boyfriend. He struggled a lot more with polyamory. So two personal accounts, just in my very small circle, polyamory is really hard. You have to have open communication with everybody. Like I said, there's different relationships for each individual
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@Mtwadamela
Mtwadamela Ijogo
@Mtwadamela · 2:38
And I won't say that monogamy, like some people say, monogamy is not natural. It's natural. It's just as natural as polygamy. There's signs of that all throughout nature in the animal world. But this is a good topic. I'm glad everybody's talking about it. This is how we learn. This is how we build first hand information instead of second hand. I heard something. Somebody heard it's. It's a good conversation
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@Gingerbread
Strawberry Pie XX
@Gingerbread · 0:23
So this is for Merch Troutt. And you said that you placed yourself in a situation where you were swinging with other people. What would be the difference between between polymary and an open relationship in that case
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@MassiveStack
Joshua Stackhouse
@MassiveStack · 0:47

@Mertroutt

What is it exactly that you were kind of hoping to discuss? It was a very vague opening of I've been non monogamous for better part of 15 years now, and it's so natural to me because I've had rich and organic community around me and I'm also a member of the kink in the world of BDSM and kink in general. And so the communities tend to overlap and I've had nothing but support and positive open experiences
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@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 0:35
Hey, I'm extremely excited and happy that you've had a supportive experience and a positive experience. Personally, my husband and my family are both extremely religious. I'm not on social media, so I haven't had much positive experiences with coming out as polyamorous per se. Basically, my swell was just to gauge the swell community and how they feel about alternative lifestyles and to get people on here who can ask questions and connect and maybe learn something
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@MassiveStack
Joshua Stackhouse
@MassiveStack · 3:23

@mtwadamela

Well, I'm going to try to give you a male opinion on this subject matter. I have done everything from having my own private harem of six women who are all aware of each other. They were friends with each other. Some of them knew each other and introduced me to the others before they were part of my close group. Many of them were polyamorous. A couple of them were non were monogamous. I've done swinging. I've done just dating multiple women as a single person unpartnered
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@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 0:19
I really liked how you painted that picture about the umbrella and the terms and the divisions and the subdivisions. That was really helpful. So thank you for that. I also really liked the last part of your clip about knowing yourself. That is extremely important. I hope that you continue to share your knowledge and feel free to follow me
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@MassiveStack
Joshua Stackhouse
@MassiveStack · 1:09

@Mertroutt

It's practically a handbook for people who don't understand the lay of the land. Then, of course, you have a lady who goes by the non Diplomx, and she does Poly Weekly, which is a podcast that's been going on for over ten years now, possibly 15. That's basically just podcast about Polyamory, and she covers everything you can imagine
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@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 0:33
Yes. I have read the Ethical Select. I used to be a part of some groups on Facebook, including one that I'm sure is still going on called like The Underground or something like that. I was a part of it from like whenever it first started, it was a page that was a different name. I think it was polyamorous relationships, I believe. But anyway, I a lot of my resources and my start from there
@MassiveStack
Joshua Stackhouse
@MassiveStack · 3:33
This kind of overlaps with gender identity and sexual identity and the personal politics that go with that and a whole host of other things. But getting back to the whole about giving everyone their needs. It's very important that that's part of the communication upfront is that when people get involved, often when they're beginning in polyamory, they're very clumsy because it's a seed of an idea that you can by choice, tell people I don't want to be exclusive. It's not normal
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@MassiveStack
Joshua Stackhouse
@MassiveStack · 1:54
And I guess I just go after life with the full gusto of a manic individual. But it's just the way I am. I guess I went about everything very publicly, and before 50 Shades of Gray became popular, I was already seeking into the world of BDSM King, and polyamory and non monogamy came into my life years before that. Even so, I've been very public about it and talked about it on my social media. My mother knows if there's ever something to talk about it
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@MerTroutt
Meranda Troutt
@MerTroutt · 0:42
Yeah. My parents, his parents. I was very active on the polyamorous groups and in general, on my personal page about polyamory on Facebook, as well as was on Take Talk. I ran a polyamorous page, so I've also been very open about it. I don't have a relationship with my parents. I talked to them. I them, maybe once a month. So, yeah, I definitely don't have that MetaMorph is your partner's partner
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@MassiveStack
Joshua Stackhouse
@MassiveStack · 1:05
It's really nice just to be able to have these sorts of conversations, the kinds of conversations that historically have only got to have at conventions or through Twitter or at a random person, like someone waiting on an airport, at a gate or that kind of experience. It's really nice. And so thanks for that little tidbit about the metamor. Was one aware that I had incorrectly grasped the concept and Yeah
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@Swell
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15

Welcome to Swell!

@FryedOreo
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 3:52

I used to hate the idea, now I’m sort of living it. @MerTroutt

I mean, I know I like women, so I'm not trying to question my sexuality, but just I don't know if I want a relationship like a husband and wife sort of relationship. I don't know if that's what I want. So that's why I can't say I'm a polyamorous, but my thoughts have changed over time to where I wonder back in the day was that kind of more natural, right?
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@Zeda
M. D. Johnson
@Zeda · 0:43
So I think of myself as polyamorous, but I only have one sexual partner. I have a platonic partner who I have never had sex with, but we both care about for each other very much. And I have another platonic partner who I have had sex with, but we are not currently having sex, but I still consider her my partner. As I talked to her, I work every day. We share a lot of kind of interest, and she considers me her partner
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