It's very difficult for us to say no to them, especially if you're the elder child in your house. Be a woman. Sorry, be the girl, be the boy. I think since we are like the eldest one, we have a lot of responsibilities. We take on to their responsibilities. We actually act like them, we try to be like them. There are role models, obviously, and we try to please them
Aishani Chatterjee
@Aishani · 2:14
And I guess recently I see so many of my friends also sort of getting out of their people pleasing personalities and mentalities and slowly setting boundaries. Even I am on the journey of doing that. And it's not easy. Of course. It comes with a lot of guilt initially and it comes with a lot of introspection. That what I'm doing. Is it right? Am I being selfish or am I being right in setting up these certain boundaries?
Hey hello. Hope you are fine first of all, let me tell you this topic is worth a discussion because it is really important to talk upon this. You know in majority the upbringing of so many of us so many other people is like you are well mannered if you don't say no. You are wellmenered if you are always ready even if deep inside you know that you don't want to
Hi, Rebel. I very well connect with you. Yeah, we all have been people pleasers at some point of the time or the other. And childhood has a major role in shaping our personalities when we grow up. Even I have been the eldest child in my family, where I was constantly asked to sacrifice, to be responsible and to be people pleaser
Hi, Rebel. Hi again. Sorry, I think because of the time constraint, the swell audio got finished. So I'm just I got so caught up in this topic, I don't know how why that I started speaking. I didn't notice that the, you know, the time frame for this is almost over. So, yes, thank you for choosing this topic
Dayakar Rapaka
@Wizdaya · 0:27
Hi. Thank you for sharing this. Well, yes, saying no can in fact be a healthy and empowered choice. And it is very important for us to set boundaries and prioritize on our well being. So I believe that saying no is sort of self care and self respect and thank you. Thank you for sharing this
Rebel Drace
@itsmeRebelDrace · 3:13
Obviously I need to work on that as well because too much morality is also not possible. That also gets toxic. But yeah, absolutely. I agree with the guilt part and I agree how difficult it is to set up those boundaries. Anybody who is doing that, especially when they are in their 30s or forty s and now people like us who have actually understood now we really need to set up our boundaries. It is a shout out to all these kind of people
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Rebel Drace
@itsmeRebelDrace · 5:00
I couldn't sleep for many years and I have never realized, never in my wildest dream I thought it was because of this and this is the root cause. Now I go to sleep very peacefully. See, I am hurt because I have to say no to my close ones. Also because even they can be selfish at times, right? And maybe they are not saying that they're wrong. They might be protecting their own interest, but I have the right to do so, Hannah
Rebel Drace
@itsmeRebelDrace · 0:28
Hello. I ended up speaking so much that I forgot it is almost five minutes and I was just thanking you. I was trying to end it, but somehow the time constraint, you know. So I was just saying thank you so much for speaking a heart out, you know, and hoping to have many more such great conversations. Keep in touch. Thank you. Bye
Rebel Drace
@itsmeRebelDrace · 0:29
You. Hi, Viz. I hope you don't mind me calling you wiz. Thank you so much for his response. I really like that section where you said saying no is a very empowering choice. I totally agree with it. It is really self care and selfrespect. I totally buy with that. And thank you so much for listening to me and taking out time to respond link to it. Thank you so much. Have a good day. Bye
Rebel Drace
@itsmeRebelDrace · 4:28
And then it's like I am being kind to you. You would say yes in front of five people, six people, ten people, two people. You might say, oh, my God, she went with me out and everything is fine. Later on, you just forget it. I mean, the day I will say a no to this person, I'm not keeping well and I really don't want to. It is actually happening with me. I have an office friend
Sreeja V
@Wordsmith · 2:31
Because at every point there was a lesson learned and of course there has also been angst, right? But I guess it's all part and parcel of this entire journey of life. And I think we are all evolved and much better version of ourselves thanks to these experiences. But yes, we learned some very tough lessons and being the eldest, we are definitely sort of a grueling ride, right?
Rebel Drace
@itsmeRebelDrace · 2:43
You. Hi wordsmith. Thank you for posting such sweet revert to me. What one thing that I have kept with me is you talked about making harmony with all the experiences since you learned some lessons out of it. I am trying to do that and it is so difficult. I am trying my best to understand what went wrong, where it went wrong and because it went wrong, now it is gone. I can't change it
Sreeja V
@Wordsmith · 2:54
The minute you have expectations, that is when the process of getting hurt begins. But also it's not about being a people pleaser. You are saying yes because you have the ability to do something for somebody, right? When you feel that no, I'm swamped. There is only so much far that I can go. I think after a period of time that is where the experience sets in, then you are only willing to go that far. Right?
Rebel Drace
@itsmeRebelDrace · 0:47
I've learned something which doesn't naturally come to me, which people are trying to understand. It's so good to hear it. I just can't express my happiness in words right now. Thank you so much. Thank