And it's a chronic situation sometimes, and it could be very harmful when we think we're bad because of it and we feel worthless and we start to devalue ourselves and it could become a real spiral downward and there's guilt attached and it's just really rough on the people around us who love us, but mostly for our self esteem and how we move forward. It also manifests a lot in sort of these beliefs that we start building up in ourselves
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 3:13
What made you want to stay? So many questions, but yet not enough support, not enough answers. And then they make you feel ashamed. And then also another part of shame that I have had in my life is being divorced. You would think that being divorced would be freeing. It would be an absolute celebration of getting out of a bad relationship. But not to most people
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 0:43
How many people can relate to this? Thank you so much for starting this off with such bravery and inclusivity. I think everyone feels you. I do. My sister's sitting here. She does. Thank you so much. Bye
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Darrain …
@TheBriefOne · 5:00
Dark horse comics. I must admit that what I masturbated to was probably something that no child should have even seen at that age. Okay, sickening when I think back on it, but I didn't know anything. All I knew was I was having bodily functions. People were telling me to use it, but people were also telling me to use it by manipulating, hurting people who I really care for
Geetha Kariappa
@angelface7 · 3:33
An unacademic helper at the door could see that I was a normal child finding my way to adulthood, lacking skills in social interactions. I believe it's important to heal from such traumatic incidents and move on. Now I realize it is necessary to feel empathy for the lack of understanding by the headmistress as she had only that much skill to evaluate children behavior. Thank you for this topic. Have a good day. Looking forward to listening more from you. Bye
Mental Wellness Stories
@hope · 0:47
Rather than the moment you were in, it pulled you out, and it helped you know that there's something on the other side of your shame and your feelings out. It's very interesting. The symbol of that person at the doorway. Thank you so much for conjuring up this story. I know it's difficult. This is a hard topic. Thank you so much
Mental Wellness Stories
@hope · 0:29
Doreen, thank you so much for your recounting of a history of shame and your commitment to heal, to speak it, and to know the power you have to rise above anything that you feel shackles you down to a past that doesn't reflect who you are in the present. I think it's very brave that you told this story, and I really appreciate it
Becky Butler
@bc75 · 4:20
And we all have periods of areas we don't talk about, chapters in the book that we leave out, those places that we have walled up so we no longer have to visit, envision, peek through, or in any way see the residue of shame, because that's what happens. You do have to name it and identify it and then see what it does. To me, shame is a residue. It just leaves this darkened residue over perpetrators and victims
Darrain …
@TheBriefOne · 1:14
It. I've never been called brave before and really believed it like that. You have no idea how amazing this felt in my life. I thank you. I just want the world to feel that it's okay to be proud of how you healed, if that makes sense. To be as vivid as possible in order to ensure that anguish, suffering and just unnecessary plight was avoid it. Because it's all a cognitive thing, it's all a mental thing. I thank you for responding
Becky Butler
@bc75 · 3:13
You. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. This was absolutely heart touching and moving. Very sincere, very earnest. And I carried shame for still do right, actually for several years, for certain things that occurred in my early teens and childhood that I suppressed and walked with and carried with me and was angry and bitter, probably rude a lot of the times because I didn't have an answer for all this confusion and turmoil and the striving and the stress and the praying for different
Darrain …
@TheBriefOne · 0:41
You know, thank you. Thank you for your response. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for inspiring me. And I just hope. I really hope that you're as free as I am from shame. That's all I can hope for. That's all I hope for. Everyone here is to find that freedom, that liberation from self affliction. That's all. Take care. Okay? Be well. Ciao
Mahima Pande
@MPande · 2:46
You. Hi. I really like the title naming shame. I think it's really important to understand what you're going through, what you're feeling. If you're able to pinpoint, if you're able to name it, you're halfway to dealing with it because you know exactly what you're dealing with. And something as strong as shame, I mean, it's so internal. Unlike humiliation, which is external, it happens to you
We have to be in these certain roles when we are our actual selves and we go after what we actually want, we are ashamed. We are not allowed to be ourselves. We have to be these societal roles. When you go out there right now and you are yourself, you get shamed, shamed, shamed. It is terrible. And you know what? In turn, it is easier sometimes to just not be yourself because you don't want to feel that shame. But you know what happens?
Chris Gritti
@InteGritti · 4:49
It was to protect my mother from her guilt and shame or sadness or misery. And while I believe that that should be part of the decision making process, it shouldn't be the thing in the front. The paramount reason my mother made herself the God of my world, judge and jury, and rarely acknowledged any mistakes. Herself was too good at deflecting and projecting. Now, to give some context, my mother was an alcoholic and she passed away at 47 through a combination of depression medication and alcohol
Susi Lawson
@susisouljourney · 1:43
You. Hey, Chris, I thought that was an excellent description of both sides of, you know, especially the part where you said you were taught to be obedient and. Yeah, I had a mother like that. She wasn't a single mother. I actually was a single mother. Am a single mom. She's my daughter's 33 now. But. But you just have to obey. And like you said, the projecting, how would you feel?
Kelly Jadon
@KellyJadon · 0:30
Hello. Great conversation on shame. One thing I've learned over the years from my own experience is that shame doesn't always come from within us. Shame is put upon us at times by other people. The key is not to receive that shame. It's called false shame, and it's really bad when people carry around false shame. It
Cerissa A Brown
@cerissabrown · 4:50
So I had to deal with that shame and I had to let go. And one of the ways I let go, it sounds so funny and so trivial, but I had all them on my. You know how you first get on Facebook because I got on when it first started. And so all your old classmates find you and all that stuff, all them were there and they would inbox me and say things thinking I was the same person I was many, many years ago
Mental Wellness Stories
@hope · 1:17
And just kind of looking at how shame is put on to us by others, that's a whole other layer of sort of examining when the shame isn't even due to something we did that we're ashamed of. It has to do with sort of a series of people being involved with the retelling of a history that didn't exist, but yet you take on the shame anyway. It's pretty powerful stuff. But thank you. Inspired by this conversation and sharing this with us
Elisha Valentine 🐙
@Elisha · 3:02
You. This is a wonderful discussion, naming shame for me growing up, I guess I could say that many age appropriate behaviors were frowned upon because we were often chastised by grownups telling us, shame on you for our behavior. So, for example, being a child on a spaghetti night and being fussed at for slurping pasta, that was a fun thing to do as a kid, slurp spaghetti. But of course, we heard that's not proper table manners. Shame on you
Mental Wellness Stories
@hope · 0:24
Wow, Alicia, that is so unbelievably perceptive of you to know. Know. Behind the shame, there's anger and there's just the grief that you are believing in a system that wasn't balanced and didn't always point to truth or righteousness. A lot of confusing messages, but really beautiful that you're able to reflect on that now. Thank you so much