Dale is a licensed clinical social worker from New York City, and she has been very committed to serving underprivileged and disadvantaged people. And I bring that up because I think it's really easy when you're in a position where you're saying, I don't have anything, and then look out the window and see all the people passing by, metaphorically, who feel like they have a much better life than you. And that process can really cripple you and make you feel really paralyzed
Mental Wellness Stories
@hope · 0:41
Dale, can you just go ahead and talk about, like, the darkest aspects of what happens when someone is constantly comparing themselves to other people? I'm not saying that people do that 24/7 but I think we're living in a time when social media is probably the biggest problem when it comes to looking out outward and not inward. And in looking outward, we lose perspective. Can you talk about the dangers of that as a mindset that just kind of, I don't know
Dayle Brenner
@DBWLCSWR · 4:39
So I don't think that we need to define the detrimental nature of the compare and the despair, especially with social media. Because the truth of the matter is that we all know that people are, for the most part, unless they're influencers in the mental health field or they're celebrities who choose to be transparent about a real experience, like a breakup or a medical diagnosis. For the most part, the average person is only posting about the things that are going well
Mental Wellness Stories
@hope · 0:51
Okay. Now I want to look at, like, baby steps. So if someone really identifies as a person who just has been doing too much comparisons and looking outward too much, can you talk about kind of baby steps to stop doing that? I know that it takes self awareness. It takes compassion. It takes really looking at triggers and getting rid of those triggers, yours
Dayle Brenner
@DBWLCSWR · 5:00
And what I have found in dealing with clients and in working with my own habits around this, is what I have found is that for the most part, one has to evaluate, I think, start to be honest about. So wait a second. What exactly does happen when I indulge? And it's an indulgence, right? So one could just be innocuous and say, when I engage in social media or comparison, but I think it's really an indulgence
Mental Wellness Stories
@hope · 1:08
And how do we navigate sort of the dreams we have based on someone else's life, and how do we put that into perspective and set realistic goals? Thanks so much for that
Dayle Brenner
@DBWLCSWR · 2:30
Well, don't you remember when so and so posted? And that's why people like looking at celebrity stuff, because when they find out that a celebrity is going through a horrible time or you hear about, but he
Mental Wellness Stories
@hope · 2:45
I think there's a time and place for that, but the more I think about it, the more I kind of want to run and reframe it and say, seldom do we look at something, and in the context of, especially social media, it's mostly just going in a pretty dark, narrow tunnel of thinking. I think I get inspired when I'm in a more breathful, big space. That's not having to do with looking at someone's life and reflecting on my own