That you don't treat somebody with anger and physically do things to antagonize and hurt another person. Your wife to not want to better herself. It is just unfathomable. It doesn't realm on logic, it borders evil in my eyes. My core compass is to help and give and it has to be reciprocated. Not equally, but just. It leaves with empathy and compassion. It just this retreat, hopefully find something that'll resonate in my husband. Because I want to let go of pain