J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:34
Does a person’s parental marital status/experience influence relationship?
So is it solely based on, okay, you were raised in a two parent household, so you're automatically going to be this great person to be in a relationship? Or is it the quality of that two person relationship that makes a difference?
And even if it is what you want out of life, if the person that you meet and didn't grow up and didn't have the same mind state as you and didn't have the exact same feel of a relationship that you had, then you're not going to get that from that person. Every single person on this planet is a whole different entity than every other 7 billion people that's on the planet. And that's just a fact of life
Braxxton Brown
@Br33zy · 2:12
You have to factor in the environment that they live in, the people that they're around, not just more so, the parents, because again, my parents have been married for 30 years. And then even though they have this strong foundation of what marriage is and what it's like, they're still moving and they're handling things certain ways. It's like, why don't you just marry that person?
So I think the response is really it really depends on or it doesn't matter as long as you get a good foundation from your upbringing. In other words, I'm always about mind, body and spirit and you get grounded in the right values and that can come from a two parent household or a one parent household where that single parent is pretty strong in their convictions. I also think at the end of the day we individually are accountable for our own actions
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:35
And then also in addition to the cheating, he was also domestically violent. So the second measured conversation she and I had, she admitted that she experienced domestic violence and again information that she did not share with me before. So when the domestic violence happened between my second husband and I, and her response was just not the response that I would think a woman would have towards her daughter. It was not from a space of, oh, my gosh, this happened. I'm going hard for you
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 1:41
And so I now understand differently that those variables do not make or break a person. And that, yes, statistics exist, but people don't have to fall in alignment to one statistic or another because we all have the ability. We are all responsible and accountable and we all have the ability to create the experiences and life that we want. And so because of that, all of those different variables don't have to go a certain way or another
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:03
And what's important is to observe them over time, to vet them over time, to see if there's alignment and values who they are, are, who they say they are and how they actually behave and act as they say that they are and then making a decision of does this disturb my safety, peace, joy, harmony, et cetera? I appreciate you for chiming in. Thank you so much
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
But I definitely think it's like the quality and how you raise them. Me, myself, I came from a two parent household, but in my two parent household, it was not a happy relationship. My parents used to argue a lot, fuss a lot in front of me while I was in the house, very loudly where I could hear it. And in turn, it kind of made me honestly afraid to ever get married
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:16
And added to that, me being in relationship with an abuser, that my son absolutely is going to realize the effects it has had on him, his view of relating to women and how he shows up in relationships. And he will be on some therapist couch in person or virtually because that's the world we live in now, right? Walking that through unpacking that
Ciarran Grayson
@Professorky · 4:58
And I feel like the good aspects of their marriage is in my marriage. And then I feel like some of the best aspects of their marriage is also in my marriage. Sometimes my parents can just do their own thing and not talking about cheating or anything. Just one can be in one room chilling, and the other can be in the other room chilling and just not talk. How was your day? It was all right. And that's it
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:44
They model healthy communication with others and healthy relationships with others whether they're married to them or not. And then that person goes out and they can be a great mate to be in a relationship with. And so that's why I brought it forward. Thank you for sharing your examples of what you saw from people who raised you, people who raised your wife and how you guys are taking components of that and making it your own for your own marriage