@GivingVoice
Perspectives on how we use our voice to amplify ideas and things that matter. Also @dbpardes for direct messages
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:58
Session 26: CAN WE DROP THE SARCASM? Would the world be better without it? #AskSwell
I want to just stay here in the lane of communicating to each other and the value of sarcasm in communication to get a point across or to shock or to poke. And I was just reading the definition of sarcasm and I posted it here in the image so that you can see this definition that I read. And it seems like it's not something that people do for anything but raising the ire of somebody else or to kind of bring a point on in a very specific kind of way
Jordan Tepper
@JordanTepper · 4:30
Monty Python I like a lot. Anthony Bourdain, I like his sense of humor. My sense of humor also comes out very crass and dry and dark at times. But here's where I stand, is that if I can't be sarcastic around you and I'm not making fun of you in some way, I don't trust you, because that's me
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:09
Jordan, this is such a good reminder. It's not about your personality being sarcastic. You're saying you use sarcasm because it's funny and it is not on stage and it's part of your repartee. And I'm with you on that because, God, it's so interesting. Like, I was kayaking with a friend yesterday and I have a tandem and she's in front and she sucked and she just couldn't get the stroke
Jordan Tepper
@JordanTepper · 2:48
So I think that if you eliminate the sarcasm altogether, you're going to be eliminating somebody's pain, and that's not right. And being sarcastic is being vulnerable, and being vulnerable is a way to bond. Just some thoughts
Glenn Mann
@GlennPriceMann · 4:14
Ah, wow, this is such a great topic. Now I'm someone who most people who know me would say that I'm sarcastic. I think it's one of my, one of my big personality traits. In fact, it might be one of the only things that I do really, really well. So I never really thought of the negative aspects of it. Sarcasm, for me, it can be a defense mechanism
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
So they'll use sarcasm a lot, because they may not be great at telling the joke, but if you're good at being very sarcastic, it can be used as a crutch, which it can be a hit or miss. Right. But I think it has a place in our society. I think it's very important. If I can give it a color, like, if I can give it its own color, it'll probably be red, right?
Hey, Deborah. Good subject. I think that sarcasm is like a spice. You could easily overuse it and ruin the meal. But I do think that it adds flavor to the dish and if it's used correctly and for example, I know, like, when my daughter got to be 13 and things got rocky, like, it was difficult to communicate with her. She kind of was going through middle school
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:05
So I want to pick up on the idea of levity and the power of that levity, um, to to bring us a smile. To bring a smile, you know, but too much spice, hot mouth food doesn't taste good. Episode over. Yeah. Very, very cool metaphor
You. Sarcasm is such an interesting thing and I think that as far as verbal communication, it's, it's almost necessary because I think it's a tool that we can use to more, with greater impact, share what it is that we're trying to say. Now, again, I know a lot of people and I know when I was younger I would use it as a mask to hide behind instead of being able to speak my truths
Bo Freeman
@MHNmaven · 4:56
They had groups of different ages, and the elder population had more of a difficult time addressing and understanding that it was a sarcastic tome and sarcasm was being used in the communication, which I find very interesting because the younger population in middle age had a better understanding that it was sarcasm. Which leads you to believe that there are a lot of misconceptions about how people are explaining. I also remember something about a study with people that were deaf and the difference in communication with sign language and sarcasm as well
And all three of my kids are extremely sarcastic and to the point where they need to learn how to use sarcasm if they're going to do it because it almost goes too far or I feel like there's a lack of empathy sometimes, and then I worry, and I worry about the social norms and appropriate responses. So I think it is a double edged sword sometimes. I think it does need to be used with finesse
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:16
You. Hey, Beau. I wanted to acknowledge the interesting study you talked about. That's fascinating, and I'm glad people are studying it, because when someone doesn't know it's sarcasm, that's where things get really hairy. It's knowing that it's sarcasm, where you can control your response. Like Heather's idea about being in a new family and sort of learning their behaviors and preparing yourself
Kurtis Sherman
@ImJustSayin · 1:20
They'll say something they really wanted to say, but they are kind of afraid of the or at least cognizant of the reaction, possible reactions. So they say it in a sarcastic way and if it floats, then it floats, and if it doesn't float, it's well, I was just being sarcastic. So I've always tried to avoid that and just use it for insignificant conversations about, like I said, sports, entertainment, stuff like that. But this is a good question
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:23
Like high form sarcasm, when you can poke fun at something that the people you're making fun of actually feel that you're representing them and they find out later that, oh, it was a prank, but he sounded so credible. That's where it really can be great, but too much of it can be corrosive to the psyche. So I also practice just speaking how I feel. I'm not going to say it in a clever way
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:40
Like, you can't do print because print sarcastic. We have no font for that yet. Anyway, really salient points you make, and I appreciate it. And, yeah, it's just always going to be something that I think twice about before I deploy, but I deploy. It sounds like I'm, like, on mission control here, but I definitely have that New Yorker in me that wants to give someone s*** and do it that way
Binati Sheth
@Binati_Sheth · 4:43
For me, the sarcasm switches on when somebody demeans me and I have a thick skin. You can curse me out, you can call me the worst things possible, and I won't even bat an eye. But I do have triggers, specifically around places where someone questions my abilities. I don't know. So sarcasm is my response, I suppose, my offensive response
And then I was thinking about what you, Deborah, and some other people have said, and I'm like, yeah, but what's interesting is, while I do think many people can quote, unquote, handle it, and I do agree that many comedians default to sarcasm, and I also loved Anthony Bourdain, by the way
Jordan Tepper
@JordanTepper · 4:34
And my boss at that time, definitely not now, when people feeling unempowered in the workplace, to me, that's just corporate culture. Corporate culture. I've worked in so many corporate offices where they say, we want you to feel empowered, to do what you feel is right, but then if your call is listened to or something is said, like, well, why did you do that?
Like you shared when they say whatever they were saying, whatever sarcastic way they were saying it. And it does create a bit of a divot in our relationship. And so what I appreciate from you is I will take responsibility for every time something is said sarcastically and it stings
You're always looking for some reason to knock somebody down, a know, so you got a partner and he's sitting right next to you and you're mike, what's wrong? Mike? I'm waiting for Bruce Lee's cousin over here. Final, mr. Final Lee, can you justin finally get to the point because he might be here all night. That's a good one