You've got to be careful, because if you lose that tooth, and every time she said, if you lose that tooth, it was like a slap across the face because I've already lost teeth. And it just kept bringing back this shame of what's happened to my teeth. And I just wanted her to stop talking. And she said it again and again. That tooth is very fragile
Sudha Varadarajan
@sudha · 1:29
And I realized that my way of coping with anything that I found shameful was to completely block it out right out of my memory. I wouldn't not revisit it. And even as I did this exercise of going back to those places, I did so very momentarily and immediately shut it down again. Right. I think the standard human reaction to such incidents is to completely block out the memory of those so that you can be in a happy place
Sudha Varadarajan
@sudha · 0:11
Oh, also, Georgie Belated. Happy birthday. I hope it was a blast. Notwithstanding the visit to the dentist and wishing you a very happy year ahead
Greg Dickson
@ElasticBD · 4:23
And it's a lot of work to undo that because there's so much of our communication is shame based, and in the addictions area, it's systemic. In where I live in Alberta, we've got the Premier of our province shaming addicts and defunding safe injection sites and completely changing the entire healthcare system that only fit his personal ideological belief of abstinence is the only way to go. And that's just created such a deep vein of shame
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 3:27
And over the years I've learned not to be prescriptive, and I've learned to just be. And it's a constant conversation. And I know it's been a conversation on this platform before, but the shame aspect, Georgie David, be a very debilitating orientation, and I think shame is important to what you said, Brandy, but I think it's important, but it's not good. I think shame is a transient moment. We have to move through shame
Greg Dickson
@ElasticBD · 4:33
You know, the more I explore this issue of shame. It's like when it becomes when we begin to the way talked about that, we sit with it. If we begin to embody shame, it becomes our identity. It becomes a filter. It puts the brakes on our life. We can't even find the accelerator when we're caught in shame. When my son was arrested and charged with murder that ultimately ended up serving time for manslaughter, it rocked my world
Georgie Dee
@GeorgieDee · 3:51
And some of that is a little bit traumatizing. There's some PTSD around it, but it's also transformative because it takes on a journey. And I think that childhood has helped me process my own stuff in my life. To some degree, we're all different personalities. Someone mentioned vulnerability, joy, love. I think vulnerability, yes. To open up and be vulnerable in front of other people as a gift that you're giving to other people because it touches the vulnerability in other people