Every white lady that I happen to fancy, and we are in the process of considering dating, I always ask them the question, have you ever dated a black man before? Some of them are floored by the question. It seems obvious to them that they have dated black men, but you can't be too sure. And to me, there's always an interesting story within that experience. What say you, though? Have you ever dated outside of your race?
The race should not be an issue, but I think maybe you don't want to date someone with physical characteristics, like physical traits could be an issue where it's like, well, I don't want to date someone who is tall. I don't want to date someone who's short. I don't want to date someone who's too skinny. You know what I mean? Or I want to date someone with brown eyes. I want to date someone with blue eyes, literally
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:23
It's not that I wouldn't take her number, but I guess I just lately been and pretty much, perhaps for most of my life have been interested in black women. But I have dated outside of my race. Yes, I have. It sounds was like you have. I don't know if you really answered the question or not, but I'm assuming that you did. I'm assuming that you have and did. So yeah. Thank you for your responses
I would definitely want to be with her. But in terms of dating, I think right now, I think I'm really trying to stay off meeting people, off social media. I think I'm really trying to make connections with people in real life. I'm really open minded, I think when it comes to sex, casual sex or whatever, but I think I'm still young. And so my brother, he sounds just like you
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:38
But I said, well, I'm not having sex with the people, but I'm showing interest in expanding the possibility of me finding a date with someone and that could be exclusive to which I wouldn't date anymore. So, no, it's not a preference in terms of society. It's just a preference in terms of comfort. For me, I guess I just find it the most comfort. Comfort teen is talking with a black woman and having conversations
I'm going to be honest with you, there's time where we have a misunderstanding, where there's times when I have bad experience dating white women. You know, a lot of times, you know, there will be a lot of discrimination in my own relationship with other white women, you know what I mean? And so it's like, am I tired of dating white women? No. I feel like with my personality it really does not matters heart
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:28
My mom was kind of surprised a bit, actually. I talked to a librarian too. So that was like my first love. And I can remember my family. It's funny now because my sister, she only dates African men, not AfricanAmerican, but she prefers African or Jamaican men. So it's interesting. At that time, though, she didn't. So the same stuff, same stuff that I get teased about my family and friends would do
And I think that's why us men sometimes, believe it or not, they see us based off who we dating, based off the person that we spend our lives with. Is that person really good looking? Because it's such a big reflection on yourself who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. Okay? And I think I'm not trying to objectify women, but it's almost like the same thing
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:43
And people have said pretty much most of my cousins are in interracial relationships. My brother is in an interracial relationship. I have mixed race nieces and a bonus nephew. And they all say, like, you should open up your horizons. But again, I'm just attracted. Even when I was on the dating apps before I got off, I would try I swiped right on two of them, but it just didn't feel authentic. Off
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:07
But I will be very transparent with that person, that they are my first, and I hope that they will allow me all the grace and patience and forgiveness in the world, as I meander, and make mistakes and trip over myself in allowing them to pursue me
Carey Braidt
@countryswell · 4:56
And I'll also add that when I had opportunities in more diverse populations, like, say, when I was traveling or I was in college and maybe I was going out to clubs or something like that, I would say that because I felt a little out of my element and a little more like unsafe, and I had to be careful and keep my guard up. I kind of went into those places not looking to hook up or date, but to just have a good time
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:41
That could be the first time that girl just thinks you the finest s*** on earth and you know, she's giving you that look like, you can have it tonight if you want. I have nothing against white women, nothing against white women not being seen in public with them. I went, man, is she bad? I'm going to probably have her on my arm. It's when they ain't that bad looking. We ain't going out in public, girl
Eluchianna Olive
@Luchianna · 4:28
I'm just out having a good time. And what happens? What happens? And I like that approach. But it's interesting that more so when African American women date outside their rest. And it doesn't even have to be you know, white can be Hispanic and be Asian. It can be Indian. Black men didn't have an issue with it, right? They do. They sent it like they take it as an insult
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:30
Let's be real. I don't know if I would be too comfortable in the rural south. Anyway, that's different. I mean, I visited the south while heading to the National Basketball AAU. Basketball in Florida? I believe it was 16, I think, at the time. No, 1414 and up or 14 age. So when I was in middle school, our basketball team was the top team in the state of Minnesota. So we got to go to Florida
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:24
And we had text anyway, so I always wonder, was that because I was so suave or did she just trust me or some s***? I don't know. Has nothing to do with what we're talking about here. But anyway, JL, thank you so much for responding and I'd love to hear more of your stories if you have the time. Thanks
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:41
I've never dated a Latina, never dated a Chinese woman mung I've dated a Laotian woman. Well, not dated, but something of that kind or another. Never dated an Indian woman from India, sort of. No, not Native American either. And I wonder, will I ever be able to to some extent when I go on the dating apps and whatnot it seems like the people I'd match with, I'm supposed to match
Carey Braidt
@countryswell · 4:49
So good luck out there and great topics, and thanks for the laughs, and hope you enjoyed this d*** Yankees country girls, two cent here. Have a great day and a wonderful weekend
I know that sounds wrong to say obtain, like their piece of item, but, yeah, it's probably why I'm single. But I'm still looking out there. I'm still searching now. I'm not going to lie. I usually do seek out I used to seek out black women, but now I understand that I'm just wasting my time. You only live once, so whatever is available if you look attractive, hey, let's have a conversation
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:09
So do I just settle for what my options are or kind of just make my own options? And that's kind of what I've been doing now. It's been abysmal. I made one match since joining Bumble a week ago. Me and a girl talked for a little bit, then stopped. But, hey, that's all good for me
I am ashamed. I know, man. I am ashamed. I did come close, though. This one chick that I met off of plenty of fish. She was, I want to say with plenty, you a fish. Wait a minute. It was tender, I think. Yeah, I want to say tender. It's tender. And she was a sister, you know what I'm saying? Like a real life sister, bro
In my head, I was saying that I have never had sex with a black woman. So let me just correct myself there. Right? Just because you did a a woman doesn't mean you have to have sex with her, right? So I have been on a date with a black female. I just have never had sex with one. So, yeah, let me put that out there, man. I'm just making it worse for myself. I'm just making it worse
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 2:06
Earlier, the guy who had first commented he was wondering about the distinction between having sex versus dating outside of your race. So that's interesting to consider because I really never put the two together in regards of the sex. Meaning that we were dating because I have had sex with women who I did not actually take out on a date. And if I could be honest, I would say about 70% of the women I have ever been with. It has went along those terms
Unity Eagle
@UnityEagle · 1:24
And if you ask me why, simply because the black man I did meet, I was not attracted to on a sexual level. I do have many black friends, men and female, but, yeah, I simply did not meet any black man I was attracted to. Am I a racist now? Totally fine with it if some people want to define me as a racist because of it. But I couldn't care less, because, like I always say, what other people think think of me
Hello. Hello. G'day g'day. I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving as it's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. As for this topic, I found it interesting. I haven't responded to anything on here in a long time, so so I just decided this would be a good one to do. So as far as dating outside of my race, I think it's a good idea because I'm a mixed race. If people didn't get outside of the race, I wouldn't exist
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:27
The tile is on top of the toilet. I just told you that. Sorry about that. Yeah. So by you not finding a black man that you were attracted to, it's totally fine because you can't help but be attracted to what you're attracted to. Now, I would think it would be odd that one would feel obligated to date outside their race just to tell people that they did when it's something that they maybe didn't actually like. Okay, all right, good
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 3:05
I can say for myself, I might get in trouble, but there are certain races that from the women I have seen in media and in person, I don't know if that could work for me. Who knows what could happen? But like, on the dating apps, I never get a match from that particular race or races. So I just kind of, hey, I'm doing my thing. It doesn't stop my flow or anything like that
Georgie Dee
@GeorgieDee · 1:09
I remember this Dewuan. Deja vu. Man okay, you ready? Islanders. Maori's. Vietnamese. Anglo. Indian. German. French. English. Irish. Australian. Scottish. Colombian. Italian. Did I say Italian? Aboriginal, maritime and Japanese. Okay, I'm gonna stop there. Tall, short. Fat, skinny. Muscular, slim, blonde, dark hair, long hair, short hair, lovely people, a*******
Georgie Dee
@GeorgieDee · 3:19
Anyway, it ended for various reasons, which I can't speak about publicly. Fear of incriminating myself and him. I've stayed friends with him, of course, because I'm like that. And he ended up traveling and going all over the world. Oh, by the way, before we started dating, I had an English Lit degree, so I'd been to university. And this guy was super smart, like one of the most intelligent people I've ever met, right?
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 3:19
Well, I guess maybe you can elect where you want to teach at and what you want to teach about, but it would seem that you would be doing it for the betterment of their learning and advancing in life. So why would he even take that stance? Is an interesting perspective. Maybe it could have been outside forces in terms of him feeling that an Aboriginal teacher should get the job
wendell baker
@MrWendell · 0:59
Yes. I like this topic. Yeah. My experience living in a predominantly right, controlled town. I dated one white well, not even dated either. They just it's more like I was there. White whale, so to speak. So once they were done with me, it was done. And yeah, it was kind of telling about the white women. I do not date these women. No relationship. I can't have children with them. Yeah. It's just not for me
J Twisted
@TwistedChick · 4:11
In any case, every single guy I've dated has been a doppelganger of the next. Like little less than 6ft, male, brown hair, white, kind of like always medium build. Olive when I look back on it and I reflect and I tried to do this in every aspect of my life and I met all these people, like on social media. Olive something psychological there going on that I'm dating the same look over and over again since I was like 18 years old
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 2:48
I've seen a lot of in terms of, like, couples, I didn't see a lot of it until I got a little bit older, especially when I went on different sides of town. It was just very common. And then I had a friend who was a product of a biracial relationship, and his mom was white, so that was the first time I had really got to be around a white lady as much as I was. She was a redhead, very attractive
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 3:02
And I think every black guy has probably went through that at least once where just because of the color of their skin, white women, some white women were, you know, they weren't like grabbing at your crotch or anything like that, but they definitely seem open to the opportunity to get to know you and talk with you and stuff like that. I can remember a couple of times I had, you know, relatively easy resistance towards access of a sexual nature with some white women growing up
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:12
How are you based in New York? And there's no other culture besides but your experience, your lived experience is like that to some degree, right? At least your dating experience. So there's some truth to aspects of identity and culture. And it's not a far fetched assumption to make where some people can date within their race and they only will just that some people will never move and will live on the same city block till the day they die
Cheryl Hill
@BkQue · 4:55
Have I ever dated outside of my race? No. And I think probably it's because of my generation. In my generation, I didn't actually know anyone who was dating a marion outside of their race. Were there instances in the media, like movie stars and people of that ilk were dating or marrying outside of their race? Yeah, I knew that existed
Cheryl Hill
@BkQue · 3:54
So I think he was a good looking guy, one of them pretty black guys that I always talk about like my daddy. So, hey, that's just the way it goes. I'm not opposed to it, obviously. But as far as me having dated outside my race, as I stated in my first post, no, I have not. And I think it was a generational thing. I think that's what it was. Had I grown up in this generation, who knows?
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 3:34
But the reason why I bring that up is some of my kids are mixed race. So without people stepping outside of their relations sorry, stepping outside for relationships with other races so my kids wouldn't be here. And I guess to some degree, all of us, right. There's a mix of race in all of us. We're not completely 100% one race. It's always a blend of other races
Professor Z
@Professor42 · 4:52
Dewan. First of all, I want to say you may be the first and only person on this platform to break my rule of don't go back and respond to a swell after you feel like you missed the opportunity while the conversation was going and it was happening
Professor Z
@Professor42 · 3:46
And I'll just state again, like I did in my first, well, that all women. I'm pretty much into all women. With, again, emphasizing that I'm really not big on white women, but I love Latinas, which is surprising because not like I didn't like Latinas, but I did meet this Latina once and I told her flat. I was like, God d***, you put Latinas on the map for me
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 3:26
How you have not only dated outside of your race, there are certain races that you are attracted to. So that's kind of cool. And it's something you'd ever hear people talk about it, so you wouldn't know. Not everyone on here talks about their dating experience if not prompted to ask, so that's always a cool thing as well. And you almost had three. D*** professor. Professor Z, 42 just knows what he wants, right?
Jae Alexander
@Jandrea · 4:10
We met, and it was fun, and it was interesting, but that was very short lived, because he eventually opened up to me and said to me one night on a date, he was like, jae, I'm so sorry, but I could never take you home. Like, I could never take you and introduce you to my family, because they were definitely like old world italian type people. And I was kind of confused because I was like, well, wait a minute
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 3:14
Jay, thank you for taking the time not only to listen to this well, but to also offer an audio response. You're from the Rotten Apple or I'm sorry, the Big Apple. Let me make sure I put some respect on New York. Someone else on this very thread was talking about their experiences growing up in New York and they did not date outside of their race. So both of these experiences of New York are true in terms of diversity
Lindsay Musgrove
@newtus · 2:23
It was a white little white boy kissed me on the cheek, said he wanted to marry me. Going through high school, I actually got made fun of a lot by black kids because I didn't like rap. I didn't share the same interest that a lot of them did or especially a lot of the popular black people did. I associate myself more with being black than being Latina because I look more black, I think. And so I have that my identity is more with being black
Jae Alexander
@Jandrea · 4:08
It was seriously a cool summer fling type thing with us. And I definitely appreciate someone who is upfront. That's one of the things that attracts me about people, just people in general. Be your original, authentic you so I can get to know that person and decide if I want to move forward with the friendship relationship, whatever it may be. He was definitely upfront about that. And then just like with either of the other relationships, it just really wasn't a thing
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 1:41
Lindsay, thank you for taking the time not only to listen to this swell, but to also offer an audio response. And you are an AfroLatina. It's a very popular thing to be these days on the and social media, but you are the living and breathing real example of such and what an interesting upbringing you had. And unfortunately, you never got any love from the brothers. That's sad. But hey, you're in a loving relationship now, right?
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 0:29
Jay. I resent that I am in no way a mature adult. I still wave my hand in front of an automatic door and pretend like I am using the force to open it. I still type rope, walk on street curves and make sure I keep my balance. I still am a kid at heart. But thank you anyway for the response back. And I'm glad you enjoyed this conversation
Ophelia Johnson
@LadyO · 4:52
And it's a shame, really, because for a long time you kind of lose yourself in this thought of I'm just not good enough because my own people don't want me. White guys dating white guys, that was easy. But half the time you weren't sure if they were dating you because you were a commodity or if they dated you because they really liked you
Ophelia Johnson
@LadyO · 4:41
I've been forced to date outside my race and really would prefer any day of the week to be with a beautiful, strong black man who is kind and aware and is jovial and has a lot of love to give. But maybe next lifetime
Jae Alexander
@Jandrea · 3:58
I pray you find or what you really want and what you're really looking for. I pray that he finds you, you know, because a man that finds the wife find a favor, find it's a good thing in favor of the Lord. So I hope he finds you. I hope everything works out exactly the way you want it. Thank you, lady. God bless and make it a great weekend
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:17
Her age, anyway. And I matched with her out of a knee jerk reaction of needing to be liked. But I'm probably going to unmatch with her today. That's cruel. They hurt. But I can't say she's someone I actually fancy or like. But it seems like both of you have made a nice road for yourself in terms of dating lady. Oh, I understand. You're actually in a relationship, right? So props to you