@bowie
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 3:49

Ask a Failure | The History of New Year's Resolutions

article image placeholderThe History of New Year's Resolutions
Why? Because I can see now that what I wanted. What I needed wasn't to actually lose weight or change myself at all. I set myself up for failure by not understanding what was beneath the resolution. I needed to let go of the weight of cisnormativity. I needed to allow myself to no longer see my body and all the gendered ways I had been taught and that were reflected back to me since I was a kid

#askafailure #gender #2022 https://s.swell.life/SSuR0LFpCN8QMhK

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@DBPardes
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:25

With you

And I don't know if it's me or the world or people that have had really loud voices and have been repetitive and have been nurturing me in many ways are inside my head. And then on top of that, my curiosity leads me to expose myself to a lot of things which further confuses me. And I think surrendering to that. The critical thinking aspect of it is where I feel safe. So I know I'm never going to be like a sheep and go to slaughter
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@bowie
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 2:32

@DBPardes yes yes yes

I was just saying that's what I think is so powerful about writing through and talking through a lot of these questions and experiences, because I just felt even more clarity and energy around my mission when it comes to talking about failure because of your experiences that you just shared. So thank you
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@PKBriggs
Sontaia Briggs
@PKBriggs · 1:48

@bowie Wow! This swell blew my mind 🙏🏾 thank you.

And that to me is probably one of the most powerful things about this is because a lot of us are probably failing at a resolution or just some of these goals we have because they're the wrong goals. Like, you were given hetero. We were all given heteronormativity as this sort of paradigm to define ourselves when we are all so many things, no matter how you identify we're more than this sort of binary. Right. And then how that it plays into everything
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@bowie
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 1:56

@PKBriggs thank you 🙏🏻

I think the way I was kind of taught to think and exist in the world was much more linear rather than circuitous. And I've learned to really appreciate the circular nature of things, the revisiting, the reexamining. And I'm finding a lot of beauty in that. And I'm seeing failures or disappointments or setbacks rejections
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@JCB07
Jared Bogda
@JCB07 · 1:38
Hey, thanks for sharing this. I think New Year's resolutions have an interesting tie in our lives because they can go many directions and the last thing we want them to do is go into a negative direction. They're supposed to be positive things that we look back on the year and want to improve upon ourselves specifically that will make us, I think, better people overall. I've done workout goals, I guess you could say I've done eating goals
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@LadyO
Ophelia Johnson
@LadyO · 4:57
If that's the reason why I wanted to lose the weight, then that really doesn't make any sense. Whatever it is that I need to do, at least this is what I've learned. It just has to be for me because it doesn't matter if you're skinny, if you're plump, if you're fat, if you're obese, if a person sees you, they see the beauty in you, no matter what size you are
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@bowie
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 3:31

@LadyO thank you 💛

Thank you for taking the time to listen and sharing such a thoughtful response. I love hearing what you have to say about things on Swell. And so it was so lovely to hear this, especially in response to something I shared. And I felt like it was really important to mention weight when talking about New Year's resolutions because I know so many people since I was a kid where that was the number one thing that they wanted to change every year
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@LadyO
Ophelia Johnson
@LadyO · 2:08

@bowie

And I think that you have so much to offer other women, young women who are maybe battling with something and they don't really know what it is. And I think that you could reach them through your own words. And so that's why I think that this swell was so profound, because I think that that's the one thing that's missing for a lot of young women, especially in their mid 30s, early 30s, and they needed to hear it. They really need to hear it
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@bowie
Bowie Rowan
@bowie · 2:44

@LadyO

And hearing your message was such good timing because I'm actually working on the next post, which is a response to a letter from someone who is 25 about being at a point in life where she feels really stuck and uncertain of herself and the choices she's making. And it felt really wonderful to articulate a lot of things that I think would have been so freeing and validating and empowering to hear ten years ago when I was going through something very similar
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