But when you hold to your standard and you say, no, this is not acceptable, what you're doing is not acceptable. What you're doing, I'm not going to tolerate. Then people know, oh, okay. And then they begin to treat you better. And guess what? If they don't begin to treat you better, then you know that those are not people who you need to have in your life, and you can move on
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 4:15
Like, we could be on the phone and you talking about one friend. I know you on the phone with that friend talking about me, too. So that's a standard I have in relationships. A standard I have, especially I developed in the last five years of my life, is I'm going to be visible. If you can't be there for me and you can't see me and acknowledge me, then I'm going to kiss you goodbye. I ain't going to kiss you
Belle 🍕
@ReySkywalker · 2:36
You. So I gotta be honest here. I really don't have many standards that I uphold for people, and I know that I should, but it's difficult. It's more complicated than that. It's more complicated than just not having any respect for myself. Because on one hand, it's like I'm kind of just taking what I can get, you know? It's not like I have choices. Not like I can choose what I deserve
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:04
And that was at a time when my self esteem wasn't very good and I didn't have a lot of self love. But then when I realized, like, no, I'd rather be by myself than to let somebody mistreat me. And that's friends, family, that's anybody. I'd rather be by myself, children. I'd rather be by myself than to let people mistreat me
Belle 🍕
@ReySkywalker · 0:28
Hey, Andrea, I really appreciate your support, and thank you very much for your kind words. I will try to set some boundaries in the future if I ever need them. I'm not saying it's going to be easy for me, but I will try, and perhaps that is the least I can deal
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 2:07
At that point, they are being clear that they are not honoring the respect and the value we have for ourselves and the standards that we have in our lives. And then that's where we have the power. That's the beautiful part about it, is that we have the power to then limit the amount of access or extinguish the access that person has to us
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:57
But when I limit your access, so when you try to, like, I'll use myself, for instance, I limited my access to someone, and they were like, well, why did I have to hear from so and so that this was going on with you? And I said, well, ask yourself that. And they were like, well, I know, but I was like, no, I told you. I told you what you did wrong
Shawna Kearsley
@OnAcornBay · 3:45
When you go to the US, it doesn't matter that you don't understand them or that it's too cold or that they talk differently. If you have these standards and these principles that your family gives you, right. I learn all that great old stuff from mom and grandma. So they guide our behavior. They are guiding our decisions. I have principles for my life. I use them to guide my life, my relationships, my interactions, fostering respect, trust
Luce Fonrose
@ilovelucee · 3:13
To a normal person, what you're doing will make you look like you don't have standards, but what you're really trying to do is protect your ego. So, yeah, I don't know if I'm making sense. I can elaborate a bit further if it's a little weird to you, but, yeah, agreed