Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:59
I lost respect for someone when I found out the person that they are dating is married!!!!
And as women, we have to stop believing in everything that a man says when his actions don't line up with his words. Because we have to look at the actions and not the words. Because people can talk a good game, but that doesn't mean they're going to actually follow through with it. And if a man is really done with a woman, he don't have a problem divorcing her
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:43
Who isn't actively trying to divorce his wife because if he's not actively trying to divorce his wife, then he probably, that probably means he doesn't want to divorce her. He, he, you know, for whatever reason, he wants to be out and do whatever he wants to do and have you and then have her, too. So whenever stuff goes down, he always, always has a soft place and a soft bed to. No, no
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:26
My thought is, on a very surface level, is, I don't know all of those things that are reasons that they've made the decision to date, even though this person is legally married, in truth be told, and this is the part that people really don't want to talk about, is the construct of marriage the reason why marriage was created, the reason why marriage exists on the level that we know it today, not Bible days
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:49
But to be actively pursuing a relationship with a man who can never fully commit to you because he's already committed to something, and then let's not even talk about the fact that at one point, he looked at her the way he's looking at you, or she looked at him the way she's looking at you. But now that person is over there, and now they're with you
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 3:54
Why not try to work it out? Why not try to work it out? I have a friend right now is not divorced, been separated. And I tell him all the time, why don't you work it out? Why don't you try to see what your wife wants, how you guys can get along better?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:58
But there I was in a situation like that. And no, I would not recommend anybody get involved in a situation like that. Regardless of the circumstances. I don't care how long they've been separated, I don't care if they live on two different continents. Don't get involved with a man who is married, and I don't feel judged by your swell. You judge righteously as the Bible permits you to do. And it was wrong
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:55
It was very common once upon a time for women to be lifelong side chicks. It was very common for women to be involved with married men who were not going to leave their families, and they accepted the fact that the man that they love, the man that they have children with, is married to someone else and has another family somewhere else. Th, but I know in today's society that's less acceptable
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:59
And then it also states if an unbelieving man wants to stay with his wife, then she should stay with him. Right. It says those things. Right? It is what it is. And I'm not judging anybody. And here's why I'm not judging anybody. When I was younger, I was dating a man and he wanted to marry me and I didn't want to get married? And I told him that I was like, I don't want to get married
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:38
I just didn't want to marry you. And you said either we got married or we were done. And so I just said, we're done. You know what I mean? I would never judge anybody for being with somebody married. But I can say that I lose respect for you. Because if you know somebody is married you should not be engaged in a full blown relationship with them. You just shouldn't be
Cheyonia Wade
@Chey · 5:00
I have never knowingly been with a married man, like outright. I do have married friends who some might assume or think that it's something more than it is, but it's not like my peoples, and we know that because iron sharp is iron. But what I will say is, I have learned that you got to mind your business. You mind a business that pays you because people do what they gonna do for whatever their reasons are
Cheyonia Wade
@Chey · 4:49
Because you never know when love will hit. You never know who's your person. And sometimes, like I said before, some people aren't strong enough to stand on their own. So they find someone and they move on, and that's okay. And then sometimes you just have open relationships, you have open marriages, you have swingers. You got all types of stuff going on out here
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:59
I don't get upset when I see other people doing things that they want to do. And again, as I said before, and I'll say it again, I know that there are all types of relationships. I know there are open relationships. There are open marriages, there are swingers, there are polyamorous relationships. There's all kinds of relationships. There really are. Because people do what they want to do. I agree with you. People do what they want to do
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 3:48
That means that they don't, quote unquote, fall in love with him and we don't quote unquote fall in love anyway. You make a conscious choice to love someone. You make a conscious choice to give someone your heart. You make that choice every day when you talk to them, every day when you interact with them, every day when you allow your emotions to grow for that person
Cheyonia Wade
@Chey · 4:44
But what I do know is everyone doesn't have the strength to overcome those things or those feelings, those emotions. Unfortunately, like I explained to someone else, emotional intelligence is not easy. It's something that you that's a muscle that you have to exercise over the course of time, and everyone doesn't have it. And that's how they end up in those types of situations
Cheyonia Wade
@Chey · 5:00
Oh, you think you're better than that turns into a whole nother fight in itself. But it gave me an understanding, like, oh, this is what chey go through. Like, this is what it feels like, and I can't even explain it to you. I guess that's the upbringing or whatever have you that will say no. And Lord knows when God says no
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:59
I mean, there's a lot of different reasons. So everybody that's in the church is not always living what they're supposed to be living and doing what they're supposed to be doing. And that's why the Bible tells us to not look at people, but we should be looking to God. So when you go to church, you shouldn't be going to church looking for people. You should be going to church looking for God
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 4:49
And we just got to make the best of our lives. No matter what it is, no matter what situation. We've got to pull through the way that we want to pull through the way that we want, the way that it fits best for us. I came from a family that didn't believe in divorce. And so that was a very hard move for me. But I did it for me. And like I said, I'm glad I did
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 5:00
It goes on to say, and then it goes on to say, restore them in love and basically don't look down on them so that you don't fall into the same thing. So I'm not looking down on her. What I said is I've lost respect. That means, for me, that means your testimony is now tainted in my eyes
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:40
So I'm not knocking the way anybody believes, but it is a bit frustrating to me because I've expressed over and over and over in this swell that this is not a person who is just outliving their life and doing whatever they want to do, and they dating a married man. To me, I could care less. I could care less. But for me, this is a woman who goes to my church. She is a member of my church
You. Hey, Andrea, this is Calvin. Too fast, too strong. So I apologize. I heard this. I'm on my way somewhere, so I'm not going to go in detail. Hopefully I got time this weekend where I can sit down and comment. But, yeah, I 100% agree what you're saying