Confession: I’ve never really tried to reach my full potential. Have you?
I still take a lot of personal responsibility so it's not really about that. But I think that there has been some fear about being that front runner and things being having the last responsibility on something, having the final say about things and really I don't know. And yet over the years I have been learning a lot about myself, about my motivations and about what makes me tick and what really drives me and what really matters to me
I have two questions for you. And the first is, what would reaching your full potential look like for you? And the second, it may be a different question, but it may overlap. But the next question is, if there were no obstacles whatsoever, what is your dream to do with your life? What would you love to do?
And I think there's a lot of reasons why I haven't lived up to my potential in the past. Some of it is motivation for me. I have not been overly motivated by money. But now, as a 47 year old woman, money is a tool like anything else. And now I see it as a means to an end to get what I want, which is what I want after the death of my 20 year old daughter, is to get to my other daughter
So I think that in some ways I switched that mindset. Some of it's similar and then some of it I've been able to, but this is a big one for me. I really need to change this mindset. Like, this is my role moving forward. So thus my energy needs to be put into this. And then what does that look like and not look like it's the perfect time for me to do this. There aren't as many things pulling me in many directions
And yet I also want more input from other team for us to have a team dynamic as well. But me choosing that team and who I'm going to work with. So those are things that I'm learning about myself and I think that's what this year is going to be for me as a learning year of seeing kind of what some of those endeavors actually might look like or how to get to those places
And then in reaching for, quote unquote, full potential, how do we know we've arrived? And if it's constantly out of reach and we're constantly reaching, then we're constantly saying where we are is not enough. And I know you said not from a place of judgment, but we're sort of using discernment and judgment to define needing more, to be more. And we're discerning or judging that who we are now is not enough. I I don't know
Well, for what it's worth on the outside and not really knowing you, it looks like you are well on your way of reaching the full potential. How you define it, of doing what you love and want to do with your life and leaning into what might you be able to do because you're description of growing up with your brother was very similar, receiving the nose versus the yeses, being older and yet him being treated differently and so on
But as I live longer in this world, I also see things that I thought as being worthless and meaningless. And they're tools, money. Obviously you have to have some to survive here in this world, and that's unfortunate, but it's how it is. And for me, more than actual dollar amounts, it's that responsibility of caring for myself and for others versus having someone care for me
So those are things that I am trying to kind of prepare myself for the future going forward and just recognizing at the end of the day, I want to kind of dictate what it all looks like. And while I don't know, I mean, none of us can fully we can think we know what we want, but until things start happening, you don't really know what's going to happen or even if you fully want it. Right? So I'm open to all of that
And thank you for allowing me to listen to you think through it, because you've helped me as well. I've often wondered how could I think the way that I do about things like full potential or self actualization and so on, but also still support the ideas of goals. But I think that it's a linguistic difference for me because words are so powerful, right?
Wren .
@aBirdieOnaWire · 4:42
Hearing the back and forth between you two has been really interesting, and there's a lot to try and think about and see how it relates to myself as well. But there's one thing that you said, Mama, that really, really stuck out to me, and that's where you said, there's also been in some dimming of my light for the comfort of others. And that really hit me pretty close to home because that's something that I think I've done all my life
Wren .
@aBirdieOnaWire · 1:17
When you said when people say that they haven't reached enough, then it suggests that they believe that they're not enough. And you said you don't believe that. So when I was making my comment, I guess I wasn't suggesting that you do believe. I must sound like just a rambling mess right now. I just wanted to say that. I guess what I meant was I was pushing back on the idea that people think that they're not enough
Thank you. I think this analogy of Full Throttle and so on is so helpful because I think there's a subtlety there that this makes sense to me. But all of the other phrases that people use about full potential or self actualization or some of these other ideas, I guess I get lost, maybe in the linguistics or something of what is meant and the implications of but the way that you described it that makes so much sense to me that I can wrap my head around
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:16
And then the second part I would offer to that is what's important is that the measuring tool that I assess my abilities on is that measuring tool. I need to make sure that whatever tool I'm using to measure whatever I'm measuring myself against, that I'm only measuring against me, that I'm not looking externally outside of me to gauge if I've reached my full potential or not or what success for me looks like or not
So I think I always knew that that wasn't right or true, or it was a reflection of, I think, of my parents upbringing, where I grew up in the south, things like that. I think some of the limited beliefs they had about themselves and things, particularly with my dad. And I think it always hurt me a little because I feel like he had the same relationship with his granddad who raised him