Like when we were little and we were in Japan the women all thought that if my dad was out they thought he was married to a Japanese woman. And then when we lived other places, people always asked if my brother was adopted. They saw him as being exotic or ethnic and it's just a weird thing to have this truth that you know is back there but you just don't have any understanding of it
So I had grown up thinking that, you know, that I was primarily like French Canadian on my mom's side. And then I think she didn't grow up with her dad but we met him a little later in life and and he appeared to look like more English and German. So we thought that and then on my dad's side, we knew his father's parents were Italian and then like I said, my one other great grandmother met her and said let us to believe something Hispanic
That's when I start remembering things. My mom married the man I call my dad, my stepdad. And I remember everything from that point. But everything about where I came from was a secret. I was never told that I had a biological father, let alone his ethnicity or where I came from. And it became this secret. I was visibly darker, complected than the very white family that was raising me. And they were all very tall
I was very racist for the longest time, and it's such mind blowing, the journey of finding all this information. I just got my DNA results probably a month ago. Since then, it's been a journey. Learning about my indigenous side and all of that. I knew those things but that was the confirmation that I got. I'm so sorry. I've rambled for so long
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:41
They identified as Italian or German or Nigerian or from wherever they were from. And in that instance, I almost felt identity homeless. I was like, well, okay, I know I was born in America, but where is my true ancestry from? And so I had conversations with my father, and we were going to do it together. Then he passed away, and I delayed it by a year
He was father, he was a womanizer and all kinds of things. Anyway, I know why my parents didn't talk about him and they didn't know a ton. Anyway, my dad was not raised by his dad stuff. However yes, I can relate a little bit to some of that added stuff but people always have their reasons
And thank you for sharing some of your history of finding your genealogy. And I totally agree with you having a domestic violence past as well. It is wise that's very good advice to still appreciate the things that you learned in that life and even have there can still be positives to a sociopath and I still see positives about that time. So I'm really glad that you had that take away from your bad experience and how cool. Thank you for explaining about Sizu
Wren .
@aBirdieOnaWire · 4:59
Well, about a year or two after I had done my DNA test, she did one herself and it turns out that she was only like 30% African American DNA from Africa that was made her essentially black. And she I mean, she had to laugh about it too. She thought it was kind of it was interesting and we kind of laughed about it
Wren .
@aBirdieOnaWire · 4:52
Okay, I'm back. So identities, right? And how all of this can kind of play into our identity. So where do I even start? Okay, I mentioned that I had a DNA test done as well, and there were some really surprising results. I was surprised to see that I only had about 43%. I think that's what it was. I went and checked out just before I started this one, and now I can't remember. Sorry. Long coveted brain fog
Hey, wren I think the other thing that you really bring up in this besides checking the boxes of ethnicity is, of course, checking the boxes or just the assumption for a long time, but people were just heterosexual and then also of gender. My wife and B that we lost actually both identify as nonbinary
Because it's hard to hate people up close because when we see other and we can push them over there, that's the problem. And we can give that and say but when we really get to know our neighbor, we recognize that often we share similar struggles. Often what we thought from afar was weird is not it's as odd and whatever and quirky as we are