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So how do we stay powerful around powerful people? First, you have to think about that question and whether or not it resonates with you. Do you want to be powerful? And does that word bother you? Do you feel like you have a relationship to that saying, well, why am I at a power struggle in the first place? I want to posit that maybe it's not a struggle
Or maybe we become trolls anonymously on the internet and that makes us feel powerful. They're all kinds of unhealthy ways to get a sense of agency. So everything I study stereotyping, first impressions, performance under stress, nonverbal behavior, bullying bystanding, and bravery all ultimately come down to power. So I do get concerned when I see people who are looking for inspiration and wisdom, through influencers, through thought leaders and authors and speakers
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:02
And if there's no programs like this, let's start one. No. But seriously, are you familiar with any kind of protocols that are in place for leaders to actually become leaders? You're envisioning for a better world
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
It's not healthy for them, but it's not healthy for your organization either. You want people to be thinking creatively, to feel free to think creatively. When they feel powerful, they are able to think more creatively. They don't feel that they have to bow to you all the time. That does not mean that they are not respectful. In fact, I think you're creating a more respectful culture when you make it clear that you don't have all of the answers
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:34
I feel like you're asking us to really critically think in general when we're in the presence of somebody and just make sure that we're checking all the boxes in ourselves and our behavior and who they are. And then in that space of awareness, there could be a really good flow. But we're in a time also where we watch people be interviewed about why they love Trump and they can't get specific. They just say whatever he says is great
When you follow these people and like every bit of wisdom they say and think it's so amazing, actually maybe sort of ask yourself, well, is that new to me, or did I already know that? Like, what do I know? And I mean, you and I have talked about this about the idea of sort of making your own proverb, like write your own proverb. I mean, you probably have a lot of wisdom to share as well. And that's a good reminder
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:42
And you really just reminded me to go back to that and think about that. I want to pivot for a second because it's so perfect, because I know that you live a life where you indulge in something that really brings you joy, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and that's music generically. When one gives themselves such a visceral gift, like music or you're filled vibrationally with something that makes you so happy, it affects that vibration in you
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 1:57
I'm going to open this conversation up now and anyone who's listening, thank you for listening so far and let us know what you think about this conversation. How you relate to the concept of having a powerful life, being a powerful person and yet being warm and inviting to others and knowing when something is healthy and unhealthy, and how joy in your life informs how you move through life and how it gives you mojo. And mojo is a really playful word, but mojo is power
Katie Spottedcrow
@spottkat2u · 4:44
We are powerful people and it's not because we're leaders and we tear people down. It's because we are leaders, but we lead by example and that we do things that empower us and it moves us and it also moves others. And I don't know, I just really enjoyed this conversation. It was really uplifting and edifying and I definitely want to read a book about this for sure
Mark R Fitness
@Markrfitness · 5:00
Excuse me, when we had this, we would do these Misner sessions. What Meizen had us do as method actors was we would work on something before the scene, like laughter or anger. We would choose something, one thing, and we would make it a strong emotion. We would work on that, and then we would drop that, go in and say the lines, we're in character and we're saying the same lines
Mark R Fitness
@Markrfitness · 3:52
A lot of people now with social media do share things like instead of sharing only the highlight reel, they share other things they share about, they let you into their lives a little bit more so that they take away that it's. Just look at me. I am great, and I suppose that's important. So that's what people could do if they're an influencer or something. Once they're not being phony with it, once they're being real
Mark Francis Rahaman
@MarkR · 3:37
It's fantastic because with this platform, it's so personal. You can really get to know a person a lot more than you can. I've listened to some of your talks when you were doing talks on Clubhouse, and I've watched your YouTube videos and stuff. But this gives you a real insight. It's like being there around the table, having coffee with you and Deborah. So that's really cool. So thanks again for dropping in here
And in response to the second thing you were talking about, I guess for me, what's interesting, I think, is that for pre social media, the people that we idolized or looked up to admire that celebrities, there was Privacy, like much more than there is now. There was distance between them and the rest of the world. And so we only saw what was presented through regular media, which was very scripted
Mark R Fitness
@Markrfitness · 4:48
So it'd be very difficult to then walk that line of portraying the image, but also the real you show through and your vulnerabilities. I've got a friend who's an author and a TV personality, and she does it well. A lot of her posts are curated and you can see that's her public image, but she uses Instagram stories to show the real her and it's mixed, but there's bits where she lets her real feelings or normal life stuck in traffic or whatever show through
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