What does surrender mean to you
So I like to apply all teachings, not just one teaching because I feel like there isn't just one way to do anything there isn't just one way there's many ways which I think is okay to take certain aspects of different parts of different philosophies and religions or texts or whatever you believe in. If you think about it, it all comes together. Not all of it is the same no, but it can all tie in together
Hey, thank you so much for starting this conversation and also being so open, honest and vulnerable about your experiences. What what what does surrender mean to you? Such a good question. I don't quite know how to practice surrendering consistently, but surrender to me means letting go of how you think you should feel or be thinking or be doing or be looking, like letting that all go and embracing what is in the moment. That really hit me during I had a ten day silent meditation retreat
But this is the first time I've ever dealt with a situation or I guess been dealt in my own sort of power sort of way, because this is a whole journey for me and been around a lot of toxic abuse growing up. And so I never really like got to that side of me fully. So I guess you could say that I'm technically still learning how to do that. And it's a practice in itself
Yeah. Hearing you talk about kind of like letting go and going with, you know, whatever God has intended you to go with has really. Yeah, I really connect to that because I constantly want to have control. I'm always like, what is my future going to look like? And then I'll make a list that causes me so much anxiety because of course, you cannot know what the future holds. And to some degree, you can make the choice to let it be
Wow. Okay. For one, I'm like, I like that you told me that you went to a psychic because okay, so I used to do this thing where, like, I was always nervous and anxious about my future as well. And so I would always used to watch so many Tarot videos. And it caused me a lot of anxiety as well too, because I'm just like, I just Wang to know. I just want to know
I was hoping to actually work at this movie theater. It's literally, like, right across the street from here. But, you know, that's not really up to me. If I get hired or not, and if I was able to work, then I'd be able to pay 15 at night. Instead of feeling like I don't have sort of control, I just really don't like feeling like, what's the word?
But, yeah, I would like to build my intuition more and to be able to follow the voice inside of me versus looking to someone else to draw that out of me. I really hope you get the movie theater job. Let me know how that goes. I think that's a great place to start in terms of if you wanted to work in the film industry at movie theaters
But I don't know. I can also see myself doing sort of like an improv sort of situation too, as well. But I do want to learn how to write because I feel like the writing is important when trying to get something visually out there. So, yeah, we'll see. It's a whole new experience for me. But I think the visual aspect is what I like a lot, or just, like, handling the camera or just, like, recording people