And so the world revolved basically around him. And when it did not, things started to crumble and unfold. However, out of that I've got wonderful children that have never had to experience the same type of abuse that I did as a child. They suffered some abuse from him and me. I'll say me, we were both emotionally volatile. I feel like the children, the oldest would have to walk on eggshells, the younger two, not so much
Tlee Kilbe
@Matilda57 · 4:49
Because I could not imagine why parents I still can't figure out what was the day that my parents woke up and decided, oh, my dad thought, well, I'll just sexually abuse her, and my mother would verbally abuse me. What happens when you wake up? What day do you look at a child and say, this child is expendable, and we'll mistreat them? But this other child, he's the light of our life, and he's our savior
Tlee Kilbe
@Matilda57 · 4:56
Those of you that have been through this know exactly what I mean. But if I could tell you anything, I can tell you that it gets better. And with age, you kind of just get to the point where you're like, I've got to move on. Unfortunately for me, moving on has meant distancing myself from my family. I think my children support me. I hope
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Tlee Kilbe
@Matilda57 · 4:49
She's 33 now, but she has gone to lots and lots of therapy herself to kind of untangle the toxicity of her growing up with me, a damaged person who loved her, with her father, a damaged person who loved her, and the hurt that comes with that and the fact that she's completely different than her brother and sister. So there's an isolationism there that has been a very difficult for her to navigate, understandably
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:11
And speaking of your boundaries, and it's a constant experiment to find out how to do that in a world that some seems to be crossing over into your space in a very violent, violating way. And because you're a survivor of abuse, the word boundary for you is so weighted with sort of an epiphany of claim to that space, you are allowed to have boundaries. And that's a very adult thing to feel because as a child we're not given that as much