Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 0:22
Fatherhood through blind eyes and deaf ears
Pretty much just as well. I'm just here to record my life experiences of my daily journey so that my first one son can pretty much experience what I I've been going through and share my journey with him, even though I know he won't remember. At least I'll have this report
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 0:40
And I'm really happy that you're going to be here, kind of dropping in and letting us know how it's going. So welcome, and I'm really looking forward
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 4:23
So nobody ever assumed that I am definite anyway. So that's pretty much my beginning. Let's see my childhood growing up was very aggressive. I had an abusive addictive mother who mentioned a lot of my years. I grew up not feeling loved or wanted because my family never learned plain language, or I had hearing aid being taken off for class photos. It was just a whole bunch of stuff that eventually as I got older, I learned to come to terms with a lot of those things
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 0:46
I want to say thank you for listening to my journey and for giving it a chance. I know my story is not the most interesting, it's not the most intricate one, but I will say that I feel like maybe my story can perhaps teleport influence somebody. Maybe somebody can listen and see that, you know what? If this guy can do it, maybe I can too. Even though I'm going through a tough time
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 1:39
To my favorite boy in the whole wide world. You are the only thing that I've ever asked for in my entire life. Growing up, whenever anybody asks me, hey, what's the one thing you want in life? You will always my answer. So with that being said, fatherhood is not the journey that you think it is. It is not the journey that you can never be prepared for. It is a journey that is long, hard, exhausting, and a whole bunch more
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 0:46
So tonight I'm going to be taking 3 grams of psychedelic dreams and I'm going to dive deep into my mind and ego and spiritual self so I can see and understand myself in a better way. It's been a while and I think find myself again in that happiness
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 3:54
It's beyond difficult, especially considering that you want to keep the image of the family together, but you're not supposed to be a family, even though you will always be your family and then comes in somebody else. And you have to portray that that's your family now, even though you already have a family now. You have to play two goals. It's just not easy. And then when you have a partner that really hates you guys, it kind of makes it even more difficult
Hi, I just wanted to drop in and say that I've been listening to all of your swells and yeah, I'm just really grateful that you are on Swell and being so open and vulnerable about sharing and your experiences. And it's definitely helped me, I guess, just securing them and learning about what other people go through that are very different, but also something that I can relate to in a way
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 3:45
But apparently sometimes you need to take a step back and recover and get yourself together so that you come back stronger and hungrier and more ready to take on the world and everything that comes with it. But again, once I have a view on my arms, my perspective on my change, even over my cell reyes you kid. I do. Your mom tells me you're like signing no and milk and a whole bunch of other stuff too, so it's good. You're learning, fine
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 5:00
You made me throw in ways that you're never going to be able to understand. S***, man. I remember when you first born. Wow. And it was just yesterday you popped out the journey that we f****** went through again. I just rambling on because I miss you today, honestly. And it's not been easy for me. You are the only thing that I talked to. You know what I mean? It's kind of hard
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 0:52
Well, I got cut off to the parent is only five minutes sequences five minute time span on these things. Interesting. We knew what the process was so long. And again, I guess that shows you how much anything I talked to. Honestly, it's kind of scary. I father. We need more actual friends my age. Fathers are coming and older. Let me tell you, dude, I think I'm 22
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 4:44
It's very tough, dude, when you're like the thing that keep me going and I don't have you. But I hope you're doing alright then I can get you next weekend but if this continues on then, you know what I mean, it is what it is, we'll figure it out but I just want to say I love you. Anybody else out there who's listening? Thank you for listening in today
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 4:42
This is what my dad went through every day of his life. So he doesn't think that I wasn't there or something. You know what I mean? But that's really why I started this. And also because there's really nobody that I speak to on a daily basis. I just wake up at four in the morning, I go to work. I manage a whole team at work, so always bought some people on at work
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 4:41
So since my normal routine is with you and I don't have you this weekend, we'll have to figure out something to do. And I think I can survive till tomorrow since I work tomorrow night, but it's going to be interesting. Dude, I don't think I'm going to see you for a couple of weeks now because your mom is on this you found path of really making this house. We weren't talking
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 4:51
There's so much I want to say and I guess I don't know how to get that. I think one of the issues that I'm having right now is trying to process the idea of whether or not it's okay to take that step back. Like I said before, obviously not being chosen. But at what point does a parent take care of its own mental health in order to become a better parent? Or is that bad parents mind? Especially mine
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 4:31
I only hope that you listen to this one day and hear my story and possibly don't hold any budget. But I also hope other people hear it and if not get inspired, at least learn from my mistake. I'll tell you one thing I'm grateful for today, dude, is ever since everything happened, I found this new phone religion and I've been praying a lot more
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 1:45
I got to keep busy and move. I hope you're doing good, man. I ain't spoken to you. I ain't got any pictures of. But you know what? I feel that you're good. I have a couple of questions and stuff I've been thinking about last night. But I'm just going to go out. Even though it's very blazing hot, I think that the fact that I'd rather be outside in the heat than inside. Cool
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 2:46
But to anybody else listening, you know what I mean, don't ever stop fighting, no matter what. Get your s*** together, but never stop fighting. Show. Always be there, no matter what, man. Never stop calling, never stop texting, never stop fighting to show up. Because it's not easy for us fathers. We don't get the same respect as mothers, but we get more expectations, you know what I mean?
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 2:46
I got sick like at 430 in the morning. I just couldn't stop. I was like the exodus. But 430 to about like seven. I have no sick days. I had to use one of my vacation days to take off. Otherwise because of everything that happened in the beginning, I always called out and everything but we're good to go back to work. Well, it's not going to rain this weekend
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 1:24
Good morning. Good morning. Dude. It is Thursday, July 28. Well, it's been a long week. Because that's why I haven't been recording. And last weekend we spent together. We went to the aquarium, the mall. You had that much. You ate everything in sight, even through a tantrum. Because I wouldn't let you walk by yourself among the adults. Because now you want to be with the big people. Walk. Things have been easier this week
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 2:24
She just said you had a good day, so I got to go with that. I got worried that your mom wang to talk to me because she ended up not talking to me. So super long day. Mom didn't speak to me for anything, so there was that. I got bothered and anxious for no reason, considering she didn't speak to me at all. Still on the same boat. I thought today was a closer conversation. Not even close. But today is not over yet
Gary-Tyler Reyes
@thekidd_gt · 3:19
Good afternoon, my beautiful boy. I hope you're doing well today. If you're listening to this, you're probably having a good time listening to all the crap. So today has been an interesting day to say the least. Dude, I feel feel like I'm marking on a million clouds right now. Like that micro dose I took earlier has really given me such a happy dose of my life. It's pretty crazy how well it works actually
