Start your Swellcast ▸

Lesley Wolff presents

 · 2yr ago · 0:33

Session 5

Join this

Download the Swell app and instantly add your voice.


"…Bob bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo boo it's Friday, guys, that means it's time for two dope minutes this week, starting not only my kid in the background, but Atticus.…"

@mikefallek @starfighterdown@cherylleescott @yourfriendabby @jonathanhayes


Cheryl Lee

@cherylleescott · 2yr ago · 1:59

"…And then we wonder after we eat Greens, why we have such bad flatulence. It's like that lettuce is in there fermenting inside of our stomachs. Our body does not want to eat it. It wants steak and potatoes and bread and butter. And now I wonder why I get on the scale. And I'm the same weight I was when I give birth to my second baby, like when the baby was inside of me. So yes, I put on a couple of pounds during the pandemic.…"


Atticus Hinckley

@starfighterdown · 2yr ago · 1:58

I Want To Believe #startrek #aliens #leonardnemoy #ufos

"…And when he's going to see his kids again because he got a custody agreement that didn't work out because he used to have some sort of thing in his path. And on the news, like the Vatican Burns down yet again. That's what I'm saying. Hail Mary, full of Grace. But, man, I wish we'd have the Star Trek lifestyle. Am I right? Just think of it.…"


mike fallek

@mikefallek · 2yr ago · 2:00

Carpetmitment #comedy #standup #podcast

"…Okay, so area rug. I don't know what that word means, because what's the difference between an area rug and a rug? It seems all rugs cover an area via the rules of physics and math. Okay, so you have rugs, and then you have carpet. Now I own scissors. And surely the commitment to carpet seems rather insane because the main difference right between and, you know, please be nice.…"


jonathan hayes

@jonathanhayes · 2yr ago · 2:02

Have some hummus

"…This looks so good at Trader Joe's. But by the time I get home, I'm like, p***** off. And I do this every time. It's literally a Trader Joe's alarm clock. Every two months, I throw out hummus that's been sitting in my fridge, and then I go, It's time to go to Trader Joe's again. I guess I haven't been there in two months. Let me get my new hummus. Nobody wants Hummus.…"


Abby Schachner

@yourfriendabby · 2yr ago · 2:13

#technicalbullshit #hell #murdershows #twodopeminutes #unsolvedmysteries

"…I feel like a lot of people are into these murder shows or females, but everybody because they're basically fairy tales. Except they don't end up in blood. They end up in weddings. You think you're marrying the Prince, you end up packed into 15 pieces and stuffed into a suitcase, as opposed to the shoe that fits the foot that fits the shoe. They're looking for the shoe that fits the footprint.…"


Join this

Download the Swell app and instantly add your voice.