Couch Session 6 - compromise
Welcome to join Leslie on the Couch episode six. Boy, do we have some amazing guests today? And today, our topic is compromise. You guys, what are your thoughts on compromise? I'm on a birthday weekend right now with my whole family and and my daughter Abby doesn't like any food anywhere but home. So we ordered this amazing room service breakfast, and she was complaining. I want you to make me eggs. Why don't you bring me eggs?
Jules Bruff
@JULESBRUFF · 0:36
It's so hard for me to compromise because I get so stubborn, and I'm like, no, I'm right. I know it's. And then, like, a week later, I'm like, oh, my God, it was not right. Why are you such a D***
Yeah, I'm not the biggest fan of Compromising. I'm pretty much convinced that I'm right. 99% of the time. I view myself as being an intellectual, and I also don't really think and with emotions actually, usually if you don't think with emotions, you can usually win most of the things except for like a psychopath who just makes everybody afraid of them. And then everybody compromises just to shut on the psychopath because everybody just wants that person to shut up
Taylor Oldaker
@tayloroldaker · 0:35
I don't think that's selfish, but that's how I feel right now. Does anyone else feel like I that sometimes that they compromise for so long that it's, like, okay, it's my turn now
I definitely have a breaking point when it comes to compromise with adults. I think just overall, with kids, I don't have any kids, but I have realized with my younger brother and sister and my niece and nephew that I'm pretty much an evil dictator when it comes to children. So I just don't like compromise with a child. I mean, if they're toddlers, you can't even you think I'm going to negotiate with you
David James, I think that in a weird way, compromise weakness. Like, if you don't like the way something is and you don't stand up for yourself, then it's like low selfesteem. So I think asking for what you want and sticking up for yourself is self esteem and probably the opposite of compromise. I know you're in New York City, and we're new friends because we met on the show. What's, something that you've compromise with over the quarantine
Cynthia Levin
@sheseemsnice · 0:40
Hi. This is Cynthia, and I'm with Taylor in terms of compromising for other people my whole life, I used to when I was a kid, when late at night, I would walk my friends home and then walk myself home. And it didn't matter how old it was. 78, 10, 12, 20. They'd say, Can you come? And if you're going to come over, I'd say, Can I come over?
I used to be the type of person that would always compromise for everybody. But I started to learn that, you know, compromising meant that everybody kind of got a little bit of something, right? So once they're started doing that, I started opening up all these kind of, like, awesome times. This one time, I had asked my friend to come with me to a bar to watch a band. It was a friend's band. So she said, yes
Responding to Leslie first, when I had to compromise in the quarantine, I had to compromise my battle against being an introvert because I was trying not to be so much of an introvert. And then the court team came and was like, hey, you like being an introvert and staying in your apartment by yourself. And I'm like, yes, it's like, Well, I can give you at least twelve months of that
I have a lot of questions for Cynthia. You mentioned that you walked your friend home at various stages of your life, and you mentioned seven. So I'm just not. I have so many questions about you walking. People hope as a seven year old at night and then also getting cigarettes. There's a lot of things I have questions about
Cynthia Levin
@sheseemsnice · 0:38
But anyway, if you're just giving yourself permission to want what you want and knowing that the universe wants to give you what you want and you're just have to ask for it. They want to give you what you want. They want to give it to you, but we have to ask for it. Otherwise, we're the victim. Okay? Got to go
Cynthia Levin
@sheseemsnice · 1:08
And then the cigarettes happened when I was a teenager and one of my friends got pregnant young, and I was just desperate for somebody to like me for a few minutes. You know what I mean? Spend time with me, for God's sake, because they had a life and I didn't. She David like, yeah, if you want to come over, it was actually beer and cigarettes for her, her husband and the child. The child smoked as well
Jules Bruff
@JULESBRUFF · 0:33
I'm absolutely feeling this. I feel like sometimes when I do compromise, a dance circle situation does happen. And how fabulous is that? Who doesn't want to be in the a little bit dance circle. So, yeah, getting out of my comfort zone and like, doing something that I'm like, no, that sounds like a terrible idea. Could be a great idea, because let's be real. Who doesn't want to be? I'll say it again
I give them, like, about three tries of them saying no to things that I want to do. And if they say no three times, I'm like, okay, I'm out. I'm done trying to compromise with you because obviously you're not willing to do that. But I am. It's always great when people are kind of willing to switch off here. And there's kind of like, you, babysit, one day, babysit, another day kind of like that model
Taylor Oldaker
@tayloroldaker · 0:26
Cynthia, I think we're the same person. I grew up kinda the same way I thought I was alone my whole life and recently also found out about the universe, which is pretty cool, but yeah, we always get put last and it's always time to be put first. And so compromise is different depending on the situation. When you've done it for so long, for the certain people, they should also be willing to compromise for you and they don't
Right, Jules? I mean, it was one of those moments that you just kind of it happens, right? But that's because you said yes. And I could have been a total Bowman like, no, let's just stay here and hang out. But you never know what things can happen. Happen. What's going to come up when you say yes to something? I heard a friend once say that he was just saying yes to everything because he wanted to experience things
Taylor Oldaker
@tayloroldaker · 0:11
I feel the same way David James about Quarantine definitely did something with the introverts, and that made things challenging
Cynthia Levin
@sheseemsnice · 0:58
So I mean, nobody would believe that, but I swear to God, I am. But anyway, moving forward and Leslie, the child thing, I would just burst out laughing. I'd be like, all right, you know what I mean? I would just laugh at the child if they wanted me to Cook for them in a hotel
jonathan hayes
@jonathanhayes · 0:39
This is a great episode and a great topic. Compromise, because this happened to me just recently. We're getting some takeout because you can't even go anywhere anymore. And it was like, do you want hummus? Or do you want want Baba ganoush? Do you want hummus? Or do you want Baba ganoush? I wanted Baba ganoush. Somebody else wanted hummus. So now we have a situation where someone has to compromise. But is that person who doesn't get what they want?
Taylor Oldaker
@tayloroldaker · 0:30
So compromising really just comes down to the situation you're in because I don't want to be selfish when it comes to certain things. But it's not fair for other people to not compromise as well. And then I'm a little worried when I do have a kid because I'd be like, yes, I. So I'll make you those eggs. But I mean, obviously I won't because you're in a hotel and that's stupid
If you want to start dating, I'm fine with that. I feel the same way about you. Cynthia. Cynthia, I love that compromise with the topic with you on the show this week because you are like me, a people pleaser, and always wanting people to be happy. And on the flip side, very particular, just like me. We want things the way we want it. How do you walk the balance between being high maintenance or not wanting to compromise?
I think I would probably compromise more in life if I didn't have compromise. Ptsd. I know that a dance circle was brought up and some people have great experience with dance circles, and some people have been traumatized of times by then. I have a cousin who asked me to kind of emcee her wedding because I do comedy, which means she thinks I want to talk at her wedding, which is exactly the thing I don't want to do
Jules Bruff
@JULESBRUFF · 2:38
And you need to practice some self care and self restraint so you can get your s*** done that you really want to get done and get sleep. Bop, BOP, BOP
And they are not doing that right now because of the claim restrictions. So they ended up giving me only two beers. And my friend two beers. And that's okay. At the end of the day, I was thinking, okay, fine. I'm compromise with the owner. I could fight it and ask for what I want. But at the end of the day, I'm out right. I'm out drinking a beer somewhere calmly
Cynthia Levin
@sheseemsnice · 0:44
But at the same time, you're so right. We have the director's brain, I think. And we're like, all right, you've can have this. But this is how it's going to go. This is what it's going to look like. This is what you're going to wear. And this is what you're going to sound like. Can you do it again, please? Yeah. So that wasn't it. Compromise for a director. Pure comedy
Cynthia Levin
@sheseemsnice · 0:42
Meanwhile, you weren't working. It's a shame. It's a shame. This world is really ridiculous. But I they all trust me. They all wanted you to think that they were cool, regardless of who they thought you were or whether you belong in the circle or outside the circle. They wanted you to like them. James, I'm just telling you that's the truth
Oh, no, this was a wedding for my family was my first cousin getting married, and the person who directly blocked me out of the circle was her sister, also my first cousin. So she was the one who was the closest to me. And she's the one who reached over past the front of my body and grabbed the hand of the guy who was on the right of me
Jules Bruff
@JULESBRUFF · 0:57
James is very unkind that they locked you out of the dance circle. I don't even know what to say about that. Yeah, that's PTSD Potter right there being left out. That's one of the worst, worst feelings out there. I mean, there's a million bad feelings, but that's up there
Cynthia Levin
@sheseemsnice · 0:26
James, that is hilarious. I'm sorry. I'm just. I guess I'm envisioning my own life and my own family, and I'm putting you inside there. I'm inserting you in there. But yeah, actually, Red Rover was one of my favorite games because I love using all my force and then busting through people's arms. I think I had a little bit of an anger issue. It's gone now, I swear
And she was surprised. I'm like, you just tell somebody to MC and not give them a breakdown of what's going to happen today. And yes, I too messed up people's names because I found out I was MC, like, three weeks or four weeks. It was like a month before the wedding. So in me trying to figure out what the itinerary was where we were going, booking stuff, I had to come up with everything in between
Cynthia Levin
@sheseemsnice · 0:10
Leslie, where are you? Did you guys go swimming or something? I'm still sitting on the comedy couch. Where are you
Jules Bruff
@JULESBRUFF · 0:13
I love that you made professional cue cards. Basically, you are the best friend ever. And you kind of win at life
I feel that Leslie is probably trying to negotiate and compromise with a toddler right now who's taking her phone and she's trying to get it back from the toddler because the toddler wants to play some game or watch the video and doesn't care that Bobby's trying to network and hang out with some friends. And she's probably like, give Bobby the phone and like, no, that's probably what's going on right now
Cindy Levin, we got our suit on. We got our goggles on. I'm gonna take a picture. I'm going to upload it. We're heading down to the pool. I want to thank everybody for joining me on the couch this week. It was so funny. I'm sitting here laughing so much. And me and Anthony and me are saying compromise is passive aggressive and we're having an intellectual conversation about it. Thank you all for joining me on the couch
They're about to come over, and I didn't want to share my Buffalo wings. I honestly did not want anybody to come in and eat my food because my food was going to be there already, and they were going to show up and eat my food. So what I did was I said, sure, come on over. But I didn't reply for a while because I wanted him to come after I was done with my food. That's the selfish kind of me
Cynthia Levin
@sheseemsnice · 0:16
I had a feeling. Lesley. I knew it. Have fun. Swimming. Have a great day. Nice to talk to everybody. Take care of yourselves. Cheers. And I'm going to focus on compromise. No, I don't. Bye. Ciao
Nice meeting everyone. Have a good weekend and I think I just got ghosted for a pool. So anyway, have a good weekend everybody
Jules Bruff
@JULESBRUFF · 0:37
Happy birthday, Leslie. I had no idea. And I have to say thank you for compromise with me. When I was like, I can't do it. I don't have time. And you talk to me off the ledge because I do see. Yeah, up to a lot of things I need to say no. And I'm going to take a page from your book, Joey, and have my Buffalo wings before I invite others in that's it
Taylor Oldaker
@tayloroldaker · 0:10
I'm the last one to leave the couch, but thank you guys so much for listening. And thank you guys so much for chatting with me. It was so much fun. Happy birthday, Lesley, and I hope you all have an amazing weekend. Bye