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This varies from person to person. Some people think it's fine to go out for coffee, to go out for drinks, whatever suits you. But personally, I feel like you discuss what you want to do as a first date, meet up with this person and pretty much go upon your way by this person, putting the intentions of meeting you, selecting the date, letting you know, communicating. Because we are grown, we are adults, we should be able to communicate
I was like, I think you should continue to see other people who are really not that compatible. So yeah, great brigade topic. I hope you get some replies because I think people who have been out of the dating world for a little bit, this may help them to brush up on things, to be more confident. Definitely know your worth
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:34
To me, that's a huge red flag because as you said, at our big adult age, all of us should be able to have mature conversations. And if the best you can do is texting with emojis and all this stuff, then that's definitely a bad sign right there. As far as the date part is concerned. Me, I'm more of a casual person
Like, I don't understand why that is, but a lot of people come with, you know, you think they'll come with good intentions, but they really don't have good intentions or they don't even know what they want out of a relationship or out of dating. So I think that just complicates things more and I don't know, dating, I don't even know. Anyway, great topic and thanks for posting it
And Tanya, you sound like you've got it together. Your dating is very structured and very organized. Like I said, I've been out of it since 2019. I was the last person that I dated, and I guess after that was COVID. So I really haven't taken the time to really gain clarity on what it is that I want or what it is that I'm looking for
Oraida Levi
@TalkswithOraida · 2:53
Number one, just because you like someone, just because you're attracted to them doesn't mean you should be with them. I feel like if that person does not bring no joy or thrill into your life, what's the point? And like you mentioned, this person was from two restaurants, wanted to be indoors, and it seems like you like something more with excitement and it's completely fine. I'm not saying that his lifestyle is wrong, but you guys are just not compatible
Oraida Levi
@TalkswithOraida · 3:35
I feel like me personally, I've gone on so many flamboyant dates in the past during the pandemic that really didn't go anywhere afterwards because I was like, I'm not going on a second date with this person. We just aren't compatible. There's no match. Like you said, you are one thing, but you are another one and grateful to be able to discern and see red flags when they wave violently in the face
Oraida Levi
@TalkswithOraida · 3:35
And I have no judgment on the practices of dating that other people do, but when it comes to me, like, if you don't got clear intentions, we're not going to entertain that. So thank you so much for commenting again, I appreciate your input
Oraida Levi
@TalkswithOraida · 2:13
But in my own experience, I have encountered a lot of people who don't want to face their own issues, their baggage, their traumas, and they want to cope by getting in a relationship. They don't want to be lonely. And just the pandemic. I feel like 2019 hit everybody hard. Being cooped up in the house, not having social interaction, losing touch with humanity to a certain extent
And I think that any person who doesn't have those three qualities is really kind of lying to themselves or delusional in a way. You want to be in a relationship. Maybe it's hard for some people to admit to themselves that they just need to be in something where somebody's coming over at 10:00 at night and leaving in the morning. It's like stay in your lane
Oraida Levi
@TalkswithOraida · 4:51
To the point that now the next person that is going to enter your world, you're intentionally going to hurt them because somebody hurts you. That is not right. That's toxic behavior and that's the world we live in. And it's like to those of us who have done the work of being self preserving, going to get therapy, doing the right thing, the current dating world is a disappointment. But there's good people out there just like ourselves
And then I realized that, wow, I am in the process of growing, and I'm doing work, but then there's people out here that are not me. Preserving myself came after being in a state of trying to to date, and I had to recognize that I got to preserve myself because this is crazy. People are so damaged, and they don't even know how damaged they are. Why are you even approaching anybody?
Anyways, but then when I was dating for like the six years after that, there was only one woman that I dated that I actually met in early of 2014 that I was actually interested in, an interest in actually marrying and whatnot. But the problem is because she was an awesome woman and we clicked really well together, but the issue was I just didn't find her sexually attractive
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
But we have to grow into it. So we have to go maybe some of us have to go through this frenzied activity, or some of us have to pull back and be like, oh, I'm just going to be by myself. I'm not going to be out there, or whatever. But it's really about becoming clear because that's what I heard from your post, which was so awesome
Oraida Levi
@TalkswithOraida · 3:55
Hello, crusader warrior. Thank you for giving your experience, sharing it with us and like your process, your experience with online dating. Like, I was definitely visualizing while you were speaking and something that really like, jumped to me was the whole divine connection, actually praying to God, the type of wife you wanted for him to bring to you. And that's very important
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