Is romantic love really a thing?
And I think I have a bit of commitment phobia now that I'm unfair to someone in love, but I have a bit of a commitment for some phobia of intimacy. It's not like I don't like the physical side of things. I do like the physical side of things. But if you get really close to me, I might just shut down and not know even what to say. So that little chitchat, that whole pillow talk thing, I suck at it big time
Aishani Chatterjee
@Aishani · 4:52
I mean, overwhelming in a way that I would want to stay away from it or would want to not be in a relationship, but just because of the connotations associated to it. I think it becomes way more complicated than it has to be in people's lives. I have seen so many people who could have the kind of problems that arise in a relationship. I think a lot of it happens due to the sort of expectations that are associated with the quote unquote, romantic love
And I really like how in the west they stress that please take it slow, please take it slow. Don't rush into love. Don't let love be a mad rush of hormones. And I think the point of taking it slow is to manage each other's expectations. And typically they are very honest about it. And in the west, they even say things like, well, I'm not in the same place as you are right now
Divya Bhatia
@Anastasia_9 · 1:20
Hey. So amazing swell. I think that romantic love is actually a very big concept. What little knowledge people had about it, they actually have very little knowledge. People nowadays have very little knowledge about romantic love. And that too. Who is infected by this? Hollywood a lot. And Bollywood a little bit. Maybe a Bollywood. Actually, bollywood. I don't love thing. Hollywood. So Hollywood hallmark movies are so good that people are just forced to believe in it
Sreeja V
@Wordsmith · 2:47
I have wondered about this myself, you know, and about all those people who might have gone rushing into a relationship and also getting committed because they have the romantic notion of love in their heads. Chand what a disaster it must have been later on when they discovered that love is not how love did not play out the way they thought it would. So having been in a relationship, been married for so many years, for me also, kind of the understanding of love has evolved
Aishani Chatterjee
@Aishani · 1:58
You might be attracted to someone, but being fond of someone or loving someone, I think you can't really say you love a person unless you have accepted them with whatever they are, with their flaws and everything they have to offer. And I wouldn't say that you're being shallow here because you said that you're scared. And I think that's it that you're scared or just the idea overwhelms you
You know that I'll have you in my fault. What I'm not saying here is or what I'm avoiding saying here is that that's my thing. I think sharing headspace is a huge, huge challenge. Chand that's why I sometimes struggle when it comes to the romantic idea of love. But do I want to play along with someone, or am I my own person? So I have a friend who I met through a dating site
So those are my priorities. So those are my priorities when it comes to using my head space or my mental space. Now, how do you shift your priorities to another person? Well, it's not impossible because our parents are our priorities. We love them, we care about them. If they're not well, we attend to them. Even my dogs are my three dogs. If my dogs are my priorities, God forbid, if they are unwell, I rush them to the doctor
Aditi Kapoor
@MyCuratedTales · 4:48
Well relationship that to married relationships or dating relationship have a certain kind of love attached to it. That is why two people think of spending their time together. But yes, moments that little expectation thing comes up that is when things start getting to be a little dicey. I really don't associate love always with the relationship. Love is something that can give you pure joy and something that you cannot always define it
Eluchianna Olive
@Luchianna · 4:30
Others want stimulated conversation, some want trips, some want to stay at home and watch a documentary. It's all up to the individual. And you have to know that person's love language. I believe romance sometimes is overrated because people really feel that that's how you show love to someone. In one way it is, in another way it's not
So that's a bit of a challenge to me that as a lazy guy I want things to just work out. I want compatibility to just happen. I want communication to just happen. And I'm sure that's not going to happen. I'm sure adjustments will take time and compromises and adjustments will take time. Another factor beyond compatibility and communication is understanding. Do you understand the other person? Do you understand how they like to use their headspace? I'm slightly protective of my head space
So, like I was saying, that it's very important to understand myself and honestly, my limitations when it comes to a relationship. I think I've said in another swell cast that a lot of my close friends who grown to love me like brothers, and I love them back like brothers, they tell me and these are male friends, they tell me that, look, you do have your limitations
Vineet V
@indicexplorer · 4:28
You have to be vulnerable with the other person, show them aside of you that probably would be a little embarrassed about, but it is true. And when you accept each other for those vulnerabilities, everything else that follows will only be progress. It can't be worse. So dropping your guard down in a way is the best way to explore the potential of a relationship with another person. Chand I think it is understated. In popular culture, we always want everything to be perfect
Vineet V
@indicexplorer · 4:13
So a person who is completely well balanced in terms of how they display affection, they are balanced. Second is the anxious attachment style where the person feels anxiety. So they are kind of stressed, they feel a certain sense of stress. They want the affection to be displayed very overtly for them to feel into a relationship. And the third is the avoidant attachment style, where the person avoids attachment, where they hold attachment back
Initially, when I get to know someone, I'm not very open and it takes me time. I was talking about the trajectory that for me, that trajectory is very important. So it has to start with initially, I'm avoidant initially, I don't open up. Because my problem is I don't suddenly want to let you into my headspace. I want to take it slow. I need to take it slow. Initially, I'm avoiding
gungun bansal
@gungunbansal_ · 0:42
The way you portray, the way you were expecting it and the way it went. It's a great listen from you. Keep posting, keep sharing, subscription. It's very amazing to listen to you. Good luck