@Nouvelle
Nouvelle Love
@Nouvelle · 4:04

Loving my dark skin

article image placeholderUploaded by @Nouvelle
When I was younger, because I was so self conscious and I had really low self esteem, I would try to do things like bleaching or wearing hair extensions very early. I never really was into the perming thing, like getting perms and relaxes. My mother did that one time on her head, and she was like, Never again. It was not something we consistently did, and I was okay with that because I didn't like the process of it. It was weird to me

#selflove #mental health

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@DivineTimeGodis
Sayge Sol
@DivineTimeGodis · 4:59
And it never felt nice, like, oh, hey, dark skin or Hay life skin or whatever, it comes with just those labels. And then, of course, we all, regardless of what background we're from or whatever, we know that specifically because we're artists, right? Specifically, we have been in the field of, like, being in the public eye
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@DivineTimeGodis
Sayge Sol
@DivineTimeGodis · 1:41
And thank you for being brave and loving yourself so deeply that you could balance out and heal that mental space that all of us. I'm pretty sure. At some point experienced. And I can attest to the fact that you loving yourself so deeply. Regardless of whatever programming or mine has affected you. Definitely helps other people because you and I have been friends for a very long time. And whatever afflictions or insecurities or anything like that. That I had. Just being connected
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@FryedOreo
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 3:35
Large family you have. I have a large family myself in terms of my kids. I have a blended family of large kids, but still nonetheless and I grew up dark skin. I was about the same complexion as my older brother, but my sister is probably a tiny bit lighter than I. But no, I think we all kind of were pretty much roughly the same skin pigmentation of melanin, as the cool kids call it
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@Nouvelle
Nouvelle Love
@Nouvelle · 2:25

@FryedOreo

I have friends who felt like because they were more fair, toned, or lighter than me, that they were more attractive than I was. And growing up with the mentality, because you're dark skin, you're not on the prettier side, it was, like, really sluggish. And then I did have friends who were on the darker side, but because they had such a sculpted features, they would get praised more
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@Nouvelle
Nouvelle Love
@Nouvelle · 2:49

@DivineTimeGodis

That is a form of slavery mentality because the media has you thinking so much, you got to look a certain way and get your body transformed to feel a certain way about yourself. It's so true. It's like everything and every concept in life has a backstory or a back side that can fall into to the slavery mentality. So you made an excellent point
@Her_Sisu
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:55
And I remember he said yes, and we dated. And then I had an incident where I was talking too much in class, and my mother had to come speak with a teacher. And I remember he had seen my mother in the hallway, and he had fair skin, black boys with fair skin. And I remember he had seen my mother in the hallway, and he was like, Is that your mother? And I was like, yes
@Nouvelle
Nouvelle Love
@Nouvelle · 3:27

@Her_Sisu

Yeah, you're definitely right. It's really sad how like to be darkskinned. It's so frowned upon or looked at as disgusting or less than valued. It's sad even with the hair type stories. You hear that so much. I don't have good hair. What is good hair? Hair is hair. I've never really understood that, but excuse me, I had fallen into what is good hair trap a few times in my life. I have very curly hair
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@Her_Sisu
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:51

@Nouvelle hair part 1

Here I am in the moment that my hair stopped growing and I started having this male flat, I still think about that man. I wish I remember his name too, to this day in the comments that he made to me about being ignorant about my own hair and not loving and valuing myself and what God has blessed me with as a human, as a woman, woman, as a person. God's creation is not ugly
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@Her_Sisu
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:44

@Nouvelle - hair part 2

And so I went through phases. I was married at the time, so I shaved it. Then we got divorced, and I was worried about what other men would and would not accept. I tried to grow it back out. It grew, just not in the patterns. How you see men with the male pattern baldness, that's exactly how mine look in those areas. It is not going to grow, but the rest is very dense and thick. That saddened me
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@Nouvelle
Nouvelle Love
@Nouvelle · 0:44

@Her_Sisu

I am very proud of you that you were able to understand that your black is beautiful. It is so hard for people to really grasp the concept of understanding. Like, we have to learn to love who we we are. And some of us are still in the growing phases. I'm even still in some of the growing phases in certain areas that I have grown to excel in, and in certain areas that I'm still working towards. But I love this post
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@OmegaStrange
Demarkis Klan Destine
@OmegaStrange · 4:27
Hey, I know you wanted females to respond to this. You asked for females, not males. But I'm going to respond to this post regardless. So yes, I myself have experience. I can remember when I was seven years old, I was heading to the playground. This is during recess, right back in my elementary days. Sol, I'm like, okay, do I want to play on the slide or the basketball court or the soccer field or the television?
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@everythingjay
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 3:04
I had a whole lot of experience with feeling bad about being dark skin or being made fun of or having any type of bully situations when it comes to dark skin. So I never really had to accept my dark skin. It was other things, a boatload of other things that I needed to accept but not so much. But I definitely enjoy listening and I'm going to file value
@Swell
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15

Welcome to Swell!

@Professor42
Professor Z
@Professor42 · 4:29

Dark skin is attractive. White people tan for a reason XD hopefully it's okay I commented on this @Nouvelle

And I think it's important to just remember that it really does come down to the preference of the person. And if somebody doesn't like you for who you are, it just is what it is. There are also other variables at play. I'll give you an example from what I've seen with men in general, there's heights
@BkQue
Cheryl Hill
@BkQue · 5:00

@Nouvelle

And it just pains me to see that the culture has not really advanced in that type. Thinking about colorism white supremacy impacts everything from colorism within the racial group or ethnic group and racism from outside the group. I'm so pleased to say I have to give my mother props. We never practiced colorism in our family. We had so many shades, hues within our family. However, there were many families like us who also had various colors with shades and hues within their family
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@BkQue
Cheryl Hill
@BkQue · 4:18

My younger son

Actually, my friends want me to write an adult book for adult reading because I write children's books. But my friends have been urging me to write an adult book. So I'm in the process of I'm almost finished with a stories about my family. It's kind of a memoir. And I talk about those old southern folks who raised me. I'm going to read you the poem about my father
article image placeholderUploaded by @BkQue
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@Nouvelle
Nouvelle Love
@Nouvelle · 2:32

@BkQue Thank you for your lovely poem❤️

And it was mainly because they felt like, well, first of all, you're already darker than what you should be to their opinion. And then you're not fully developed either. It was like a double edged sword. But I love that you got to have that experience. And also thank you for your lovely palm. You have a very beautiful reading voice. You definitely should continue on with your writing and even making adult books. I too am an author
@Nouvelle
Nouvelle Love
@Nouvelle · 2:26

@Professor42

There's so much more to unpack than just feeling like, oh, this person doesn't like me because of my skin tone. It's really about understanding that it's within yourself that you're dealing with these demons, these monsters, because it's like you're in your self battling this. No one's in it with you. You're in it by yourself. And it's kind of an issue where it's like, you're not being hurt by the world
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@Nouvelle
Nouvelle Love
@Nouvelle · 3:35

@OmegaStrange

I mean, you might be the only dark skin I date, but other than that, no. And it's really just because they love my personality, and I'm just kind of like, okay, that's you. But I do agree with you. I feel like people don't understand what we've been, not us, but our ancestors and everything
@Nouvelle
Nouvelle Love
@Nouvelle · 2:01

@everythingjay

Sol like, you got to experience what all different tones of color were without it being a hindrance to you or someone making you feel bad about being darker. So I'm glad that you were able to have that experience. It's hard nowadays when everything is just so I wouldn't say set in stone, but people's state of mind is kind of like, well, this is what it is, versus people wanting to really take a good look at themselves and the world around them, you know?
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@Ronisha
Ronisha Monroe
@Ronisha · 0:54

#lovetheskinyourin

It was just a lot that went with it. But I felt like this is a topic that needs to be talked about. And I say this to everybody that's in my circle, like, this is something I want to talk about. But as I got older, not even the fact that I got older, it's like I had to learn to love myself, love the skin that I'm in
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@everythingjay
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 1:53
I did also have a good way of kind of twin certain things out that I didn't want to deal with, and that came from other traumas that were in my childhood. So I kind of built up a good way of blocking a lot of things out that I didn't want to address. It could have been that as well. So just throwing a few things out there
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@Ronisha
Ronisha Monroe
@Ronisha · 2:07

@everythingjay

It was always, she's prettier than me because she's licensed, and I'm dossier. I dealt with that for so many years. But what I realized, I had to love myself. I took care of my acting. I'm like, okay, I got to start taking more better care of myself. Like, if I don't want to be called these names or I don't want to, let me take better care of myself
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@Nouvelle
Nouvelle Love
@Nouvelle · 4:40

@Ronisha

And it would be the before version is the nonpretty girl, and the after version was the prettier girl. And it was always against me and my sister. And my sister is like, brown skin, whereas though, I'm actually darker. Like, I am dark skin, like milk chocolate, dark chocolate, however far it goes. So that was always a game that they had growing up, playing that s***
Swell user mugshot
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