Shanée Adams
@Shanee1219 · 4:54
Childhood Trauma and Adulthood Effects Podcast 3
So things that we can look into is specifically making sure that you're putting your child in the right situation, making sure that you build this rapport with this family of your child, whether the mom, grandma, dad, whomever the child is friends with, you have to become friends with that child's friend's family as well. So therefore, you can have that conversation with their parent, not necessarily telling them all your business, but your concerns
And I think for me, what it comes down to is, as you mentioned, understanding, like, so parents understanding each other. But also, I guess it's always better if a parent tells you something and then they're like, oh, this is why, rather than kind of shutting a kid off or getting really mad at them because the fight or flight kicks in and then the child just doesn't understand and they're being punished for some things, and it just goes on
Xenia Barnes
@Coachbarnesgmt_ · 4:37
As parents, we do have effects that can cause lasting effects of trauma if we're not working through our own trauma, so that we can make sure that we are creating these safe spaces for our children, so that when they become adults, they know how to create safe spaces for their children. And that's how we break the generational cycle of trauma. That's how we break that cycle of raising children within trauma who become adults to pass that trauma on
Shanée Adams
@Shanee1219 · 1:00
Yes, great. So many great points that you made as well. I will be doing hopefully now that I feel better, I can do a post a day. I'm trying to just break break down down points that I have that I've done in my coaching sessions and some points that I've put in my book as well. So this is a great platform for me to get some feedback and see just everyone's thought process on trauma
Shanée Adams
@Shanee1219 · 0:40
Awesome. I really appreciate you enjoying this topic. It is very, very conducive to people to look at things outside the box and sometimes even outside your own situation. So I I appreciate you listening. I appreciate you tagging other people. There will be a new post tomorrow and we're just going to dive into this and hopefully through this dive we can get some healing from people and some understanding and maybe even just going a directional path on where to go to next
I had recorded something else before, but I went ahead and deleted it because anyway, thank you very much for talking about this. I made this mistake with my son, and now he's an older adult and doesn't open up and talk to me because he wanted to know things. And I told him I didn't realize I was hurting him. Anyway, you guys take care. Bye
Michael Slade
@Freshslade · 3:08
But what's not easy is limiting your kids so much so that they don't get experienced life on their own. Like not being able to go to sleepovers. Because when I heard that I was like, oh, that's ridiculous, I get it because of the mom maybe having some traumatic stuff happen. But as a kid who went on sleepovers all the time and never had anything bad happen, there were some of the best memories from my childhood
Moxie ManyNames
@manynames · 5:00
So you have people who parents were never around because the boomers they were forced to get married and have kids but never wanted the kids and so we were pretty disposable and we raised ourselves and when we tried to talk about what was happening school teachers and everyone they didn't want to hear about it. Children should be seen and not heard is what they were taught and that's what they were trying to enforce on us
Shanée Adams
@Shanee1219 · 2:13
So, yeah, that's just my bit of advice. As long as you both are breathing, there's always an opportunity to right any wrong, whether on your behalf or his behalf. And I just pray for healing, and hopefully everything will be okay. But it's never too late
Shanée Adams
@Shanee1219 · 2:35
But at the same token, when you've been hurt and you've been abused and you've been damaged, it's so hard to see through the brakes and the cracks in your glass. It's completely like asking a child to drive a car. It's just like I don't even know where to begin to try to parent properly without pressuring you and putting too much pressure on you, because I just don't want these things to happen. So it's really difficult, but everyone tries