Are we gradually killing off empathy at a societal level?
And then to think that either neglect or overprotection either one of those can potentially lead to a child growing into a narcissist was like, wow, I mean there's more to it. And of course you have to be aware of potential signs to address as the child is growing. One of the key things they talked about was teaching children empathy. And in learning in the recent years about my own neurowiring as an autistic ADHD, I learned that there are two different kinds of empathy
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:52
And then it hit me, and I forget what I listened to that prompted the connection for me. No, it has nothing to do with perimenopause. It has nothing to do with your hormonal system has everything to do with you are so completely and fully you that you are now able to actually be present and experience things on so many different levels that you can have happy emotions that bring forward tears or chills or an elevated heart rate or whatever
It was very much reactions, but I was out of touch with my brain because I was spending so much time doing the same things, trying to fulfill expectations, societal, family, friends, et cetera, and really trying to shoehorn myself into all of those different labels, boxes, et cetera
Andrea Potvin
@GoodEnough · 3:42
So is there something inside of us too, that could be nurtured to be empathetic? Because I feel like I have raised my children to be that way, but I've also been involved in letting them express their feelings to me. So I don't really have all the answers. But I know that my siblings, we were all raised in the same house, and we are all different. Some narcissistic traits have shown up in my siblings, and I've actually been asked if come from that family
And so like trying to navigate, being supportive, being empathetic, but at the same time, I guess reasserting my place in the world, that I have every right to take up space, that my voice is worthy, that my feelings and thoughts are worthy, and that I want to invest in people, but not necessarily people please them. It's difficult, right, trying to figure it all out
It's not to say that there aren't serial killers or cold blooded killers who are psychopaths. Yes, there are. But a population as a whole is comprised of far more people who fall in line with psychopathy that are not criminals. Okay, they're not good people, but they're not criminals. Anyhow, just to get to the point, you talk about lack of empathy and narcissism as being something that can be learned, and I totally agree with you
Thank you for this. I really appreciate it. I have come in contact with various people throughout my life. That okay. First, I'm Autistic ADHD, and I have a fascination with trying to understand people. I have no background in this, but it sends me on these deep dives of trying to understand what it is that I'm observing and why
Adam V
@whentendimos · 4:59
And so part of what I guess I'm really trying to get to is that I think it's really important to recognize from my experience as well as from hearing people that have more formal and direct relationships with, we want to say, indigenous perspectives, cultures, the like, and part of what a really wise person said
Adam V
@whentendimos · 4:54
And those cultures actually really focused a lot of energy on building brains that experience the world in a way that was a relationship of care. And I really do think that the process of culture is building brains. And I think that's related to the whole nurture thing and what you were talking about with parenting and stuff. But I think it's beyond just parenting. It's a deep seated cultural situation we're in. And yeah, I also want to recognize that I believe it was JL
Meaning that, from my perspective anyway that we have choice of not only how we handle ourselves individually but then how we choose to relate and interact with others the artistry, the dance of communication, for example or then more grandly or broadly, the systems that we create and put into place. And I guess this is sort of reiterating something I said before but we're creating this culture, this environment that celebrates, promotes power structures and it's ideal for the psychopath, right?
If you're looking at better within the confines or constraints of these toxic structures, then it's limited. If you look at better from a more broad perspective of an interwoven, interconnected way of looking at it, it's completely different. And it's also a recognizing of not an elevating and demoting, but we're all parts of the same thing. I guess I would go back to the example of fluid, right
Oh, if you think of it, I would love to see that reel, instagram reel that you were talking about just for logistics. When you do find it and you get the link, just paste it in the description and Swell will automatically shorten it for you. And sometimes we'll even include a screenshot to go along with the link
Adam V
@whentendimos · 0:16
You here's. The link that I had mentioned. Yeah. Profound concise. If I could share it with everybody in the world once or twice, I would. I hope you enjoy
Adam V
@whentendimos · 4:47
But there's these constants, these similarities, these relationships between behaviors, and I imagine there's even really valuable correlations to psychopathy and that whole exploration of existence. I'm getting maybe a little esoteric here as the night progresses. But yeah, so other points that you made, the born into and born out of that just appeared for the first time ever
Adam V
@whentendimos · 5:00
And so in that, I think part of changing our way of thinking about things is kind of changing the concept of meritocracy. Right? So many people, when you talk about stepping back from capitalism or subversion or even anyways, when people talk about that, they're so afraid that they're not going to get credit for the good things that they do
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 0:54
Hi, Adam. This is JL, and welcome to the platform. Thank you so much for listening to my response to this swellcast and continuing the dialogue. I truly believe it's this level of dialogue, whether we agree or disagree or have different experiences, expounds and expands on our information that we have as we go about and navigate the world in this lifetime
Just look at the patterns that exist now that are really toxic, that are the things that we were talking about in that other thread, the patriarchy, the dominance, the ownership instead of custodianship or guardianship. And yet we can recognize patterns there. And maybe there's a different meaning than was intended there that I didn't catch, but I think there's something to it. But there's also times when I think that doesn't apply
Adam V
@whentendimos · 4:56
It's just kind of recognizing the people that recognize as the pattern as we do. So, yeah, it's a really important video to me. I think it really directly relates to how actual social change happens and it's much less fantastical than a lot of people make it out to be. But, yeah, I'm just going to leave it there and I'm interested if that touches anything for
I don't want to say for everyone, but for many right. And even as a symbol, I think it's important. I'm still intrigued by the idea of the pattern, capital T and P, of what is included in that and what isn't. Are there things that aren't included in that? Sincerity. Okay, I can get behind that. Are there other things that you would put in there?
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Adam V
@whentendimos · 1:03
Hi, JL. This is Adam again, and thank you so much for that beautiful response. I do a lot of thinking about cohesion without consensus, and I think you spoke to that really well. And I'm going to spend some more time kind of chewing on that and receiving it. And I love the idea of kind of growing from interactions even when there is not necessarily a large base of consensus that it's built on right
Adam V
@whentendimos · 2:47
So all things fall into the pattern, but some things are rejecting the pattern as they're inside of it. Right. And so there's a bit of a mental pretzel, but maybe that's a little bit of helpful context. And I think, yeah, to kind of speak to the protest part of it, I love kind of looking at the quote unquote, unintended consequences or the quote unquote side effects that are, I think, quite often primary effects and primary consequences
But imagine a large table and there were like three pieces of I think they were called transparencies when I was a kid, those clear sheets of plastic they would put on top of an overhead projector and then the teacher would use what do you call those? Like whiteboard markers. That's not what they're called, but you know what I mean, dry erase markers to draw out or make notes or whatever
Adam V
@whentendimos · 5:00
And I think what Tyson is pointing towards is trusting this other faculty that is not recognized in Western modernity, that is not recognized in this culture that we've come up in. And of course, I've got tons of other quotes relating to that, but I'm not going to go there at the moment. But there's this aspect of kind of recognizing that we have analytical tools that don't give us a clear readout
But it's not the words themselves that matter for that particular kind of communicator. But instead it's this overall having to blur and understand and take in what it is that they really mean
Adam V
@whentendimos · 5:00
And in that going forth and going on, you'd reach these moments or points or really solid and foundational understandings. But yeah, I think so often we think of a group as people that all agree about something. And I think the most powerful groups are ones that can have this plurality of perspective and retain some amount of contrarian agitator aspect and personalities and stuff