What IS identity, then? Does it matter?
And then you'll have other christina who live out their faith and they shine very brightly. Right. And so for me to tell you who I think I am, it's not necessarily going to tell you who I am, it's going to tell you who I think I want to be seen as how I perceive myself, how I want you to perceive me. But it's not who I am. Right. It's like all these other jumbled up things
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 3:00
And there's other things you can use to represent your identity or what other people you want to what you want other people to think of you. So I think of those other things as iterations of yourself or representations. For example, clothing. I rarely think of clothing as your identity as much as it says, as an expression of it. And the reason I say that is because people can kind of take that aware that can be instantly changed
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 1:00
So your actions, particularly if they're consistent over time or they are significant, even if they only occur once in a while or a few times, make up your history, which can't be changed, which makes up part of your identity. I'm talking myself in circles here, but it seemed important enough of an add on to also say, I don't know
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 1:18
And the third part, which is I think now that I think about it, it's pretty big, but I tend to really underemphasize what the rest of the world thinks of you as part of your identity. But in fact, I guess that would be the case, right? Because your identity is I don't know the official definition, but I think when I think identity, part of it is really like how other people see you
I think I've detached myself from that in my thinking about identity because it's out of our control, right? Others are going to make observations about what we look like, about our actions, about our words, about anything and everything. And they're going to see it through their own lenses and then they're going to make an idea up of who they think we are
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 2:34
And we all come from the same mother and father, we grew up the same place, we have a lot of similar experiences. What separates us? And part of that is just what would you call our behavior, our personalities, right? And so when I think of identity in that respect again, this is where I said there are some things that will not change no matter what
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 0:34
You. And the added caveat here is that these personality traits, they can change, but if they do, but they're more permanent than other things like clothing. And if they do change, they tend to last longer time, and it takes them longer to change. So it's kind of like part of your identity in the midterm, at least, I guess, to say. I don't think your personality tends to shift as quickly as other people associate other things that people associate with identity
And I think there is this it's between the core and it's between the reframing that some of this exists. And it's, like, connected with personality. It's all these little visual things, and I don't know how to articulate them and spit them back out into language that makes sense. So this could be completely off the wall, but what you're saying is making sense. I just don't know how to exactly frame it neatly for the purposes of communication, maybe
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 1:11
The more temporal something is relative to you, the less I'll tend to consider that part of the identity by which I identify you by compared to other people. But the more permanent that thing is to you. And, um, like I said, it's true. No matter what, under all circumstances or most circumstances, the more I'm likely to associate that with your permanent or current identity, I guess
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 1:06
And I think that permanence includes things that really have what you call staying power. So there are some events in some people's lives that may have happened only once, maybe two or three times, but hang over them and have a significant effect on them. No matter where they go or what they do or who they become, they're staying power them
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 2:51
And I'll take the gym as an example since I'm here, and I'm going to be pretty blunt and not politically correct about it, so I hope it's not offensive, right? But say somebody starts out, I don't know, as a very skinny youth, right, that's in a sense part of their identity. Kids might call him slim. He might see himself that way. He might be able to do certain things because of that
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 4:20
But that's why I think and I completely fight against this not only fight, I just don't participate for the most part like politics on ideological lines. And in some respects I think a lot of people choose it's simple to choose what's given to you. I am a Democrat, I am Republican. Those drives, the people I attach to, how I see myself, how I see other people, the decisions I make. And to some sense I do it
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 4:25
That's the engineering model, where things are without if we're looking at, like, before, we assume other outside influences. We structure it this way. And this is how it just land if left to its own devices, this thing that we built. But then there is permanence versus how permanent or temporary something is in your life. How often or not often it appears, the significance or impact or staying power of that thing
Kwa NateKo
@kwa · 4:43
And so I think when we think of ideas, ideologies and I go back to making the brain, the brain likes to do simpler things. So when I think of the purpose of like and I'm just using politics as an example, the two party system, the purpose of it is to still have some form of democracy where it's not just how can I say just a one party structure where decisions are made by one group and there's no say
But you fast forward through time and that significance or that reason may not be there or it may not be as significant or they may not be as attached to it. Right. So then I started thinking more about significance and attachment. So if you have like two siblings and they're nearly identical and nearly identical situations experiences, but one has a heightened nervous system and perhaps a different neurowiring, they can each experience the same event
And when you were talking about the antigravity and these external attachments to ideas and so on, it made me think of when we attach ourselves either to a political party or do we attach ourselves to a sports team or whatever it might be, this idea of identity and self, the visuals like demolecularization, right? It sort of increases the space between the atoms of who we are, our identity
Himanshi Thakur
@GreyMatter · 4:08
Just play our part and just leave peacefully, live peacefully and leave peacefully. This is what even I believe in. So thank you for such a wonderful and thought provoking philosophical swell and I absolutely love listening from you listening to your replies, listening to your swell. It's a wonderful delight. Thank you, Christina
And it's important at times to break them, blur those lines and sort of smoosh things back together again and realize that there's more complexity and nuance to whatever it is we're trying to shove into a box. Yeah, all that to say, I completely agree
Himanshi Thakur
@GreyMatter · 3:13
So I understand that expectations can really push you to make something for yourself or do something for your loved ones, for your own self. But then if things are not happening, then they are not happening. It's better to accept if you can try, if you can change it, then it's okay. But if not, you just need to move on. So yes, with boxes and with these identities and labels comes expectations