The cost you demand by dictating your binaries.
The stunning miracle came when I began to unpack, when I began to peel back and embrace the complexities and nuances of me. And at the end of that journey, let's say at a way point in that journey, those nightmares stopped instantly. The journey took a while to get there, but those nightmares stopped, and I haven't had one since
Renee πͺ¬
@RensLensΒ Β·Β 0:52
So in the immediate, I just want to put out there thank you and I love who you are and that I will pop back in here when I have an opportunity to process it all
Brian Foreman
@BKFOREMAN69Β Β·Β 5:00
I don't get the hate, other than it's not a straight, white, male, American bred family situation. That seems to be most of the people. I'm on TikTok. I'm on other social media. Those are the people complaining. The straight white males who eventually end up getting arrested because they're molesting children and they're actually closeted gay people. And that's just me being angry and sarcastic at the end. But there have been quite a few
Nidhin George π·
@geo_rhymesΒ Β·Β 1:25
And you're right. It does take a toll on you if you are not fully confirmed to it or if you don't confirm or if you don't fully embrace it as your own. And I don't have answers to a lot of things yet, but to that question you asked, this would be my answer. I think everyone has a right to life and life in abundance
But with how much things are becoming more volatile and more hateful and people being more angry, I feel even more on guard. So as a woman woman, let alone a part of the LGBTQIA family, like, I carried a knife on my hip that I stopped for many years and was a fixture in my nightmares, it is on my hip again and has been for some time because of the escalating fears and concerns. These are the prices that they are exacting. The costs that they are exacting
Even if you believe in a higher power that created us, I would think that you'd want to embrace all that we have been gifted, all that we've been created to be, and to do that thoughtfully, intentionally, and with care and with love. And to tell someone that you must essentially, let's say, hack off an arm or be chained in this particular way or whatever it might be to fit some idea of existence is to deny part of what it is to be a human
Renee πͺ¬
@RensLensΒ Β·Β 5:00
Religion provides them something that all of those other things that I just mentioned cannot provide to the narcissist. Two things status and protection from doubt. So in terms of status for the narcissist, no matter how obnoxious, no matter how many accusations of abuse, no matter how many wives they cycle through, if they tithe to the church generously, they're generally accepted, but also protected
Swell Team
@SwellΒ Β·Β 0:15
Renee πͺ¬
@RensLensΒ Β·Β 4:30
I don't have to apologize. I don't have to change. Who do we know as a celebrity that never apologizes, never takes ownership, and never changes? Donald Trump. I guess some people find strength in that, which I find amusing, because I think Donald Trump reminds me of kind of like my kids when they were five years old, playing in the playground with other kids. Except it's funny when it was my kids
Renee πͺ¬
@RensLensΒ Β·Β 3:01
But yet I'm not sure that I would have deleted the post either, because I think that it's important for people to see that hate is out there. It's very much alive. And ironically, there's people that are out there preaching, don't hate me, don't hate my children, but ignore where my hate is directed. And really that's the poster child for hypocrisy. And yet the people that are many people that are uneducated them want to remain that way
And then the projection that happens, the hypocrisy that happens, the perspectives of if we are being persecuted, then it's because we're walking the righteous path gives someone such protection and and blinders from forms of challenge. That's not persecution. To have an idea, a thought, an act challenged even if that person is not of the same faith is not persecution as much as I've heard it professed that faith and religion can be about self reflection and growth and change
Renee πͺ¬
@RensLensΒ Β·Β 5:00
Yeah, I always kind of find it interesting, like, when people who follow organized religion say things like, well, I'm not going to judge that person because you know, God's going to judge them one day. And I always kind of notice the irony in that. The statement in of itself is kind of judgmental, if you think about it, um, them
Renee πͺ¬
@RensLensΒ Β·Β 1:28
And you're left with having to use the strong arm of the Narcissist to do all of the things that we've already seen Donald Trump do. And that just doesn't happen in politics. That happens in families, that happens in business, and it presents itself a little differently. But it's really the same thing just played out in different environments, and it's starting to have its negative effect, as we could see specifically with the Republican Party
And to add to that, there's some verse somewhere I can't remember, that talks essentially about, let's say, precepts or the guidelines, the rules, whatever of how to live a Christian life are for Christians. They're not for putting upon projecting upon others who don't share the same faith
You know, if one wants to believe that Trump is a Christian, this is something else that I've run into personally in the past where people will claim to be Christians, but they almost see see grace and forgiveness as a get out of jail free card in that they can sin, ask for forgiveness, and in their minds receive it and continue
Renee πͺ¬
@RensLensΒ Β·Β 4:55
Then the next line is said with complete disgust and disdain some people got the real problems, some people out of love, some people think I can solve them. Lord, heaven above. As you mentioned, grace, forgiveness there is no grace or forgiveness in that line. There is no leading to God in that line
So I look up the lyrics sometimes if I want to sing along with them in anyway, I have loved this song from the minute I heard it originally, and I would only catch a line or two, but I must have looked them up back in the day, but I didn't remember. So hearing them in the way that you presented them here too, just made me love this song even more
Renee πͺ¬
@RensLensΒ Β·Β 2:09
And I think that it was telling that they either didn't have that song or they chose not to use a Christina about Christianity to drive people to religion
J.L. Beasley
@Her_SisuΒ Β·Β 4:22
And I did the things just similar to you check marked off all the boxes, and it didn't ever feel right. It didn't feel right, which is why I say to this day, I am grateful to my abuser. I am grateful to the experience of domestic violence because I needed that wake up call
And when you start to the more people you lump into something, if it's a box, if it's an observation, the less accuracy there can be because there is so much complexity and nuance to existing. And to me, that is what's so beautiful about existence. Why would I want to create binaries and boxes and limit anyone, let alone myself, to these things? I sometimes have this bittersweetness how you talked about how you were grateful for your abuser
I think I tagged all of you. This is a video I stumbled across today by someone I follow on Instagram, and it really, to me, taps into another facet of the costs that are demanded for dictating. Binaries he mentions that when someone talks about wanting men just to be men and women to be women, that you know him as a man. He grew up in that culture, and it was very lonely and it was very violent
Renee πͺ¬
@RensLensΒ Β·Β 4:56
And you know, it it's it's a nonsensical argument grooming. The term grooming itself, it's it's it's so ironic in that the people that make this grooming argument, it fail to even recognize how they've been groomed by society. And they think that they're bringing you into a debate. And it's not a debate. It's just nonsensical basic bullshit that if you even respond or get into the discussion, you've killed brain cells for having done it
And I remember growing up hearing the argument that Republicans are not necessarily four things, and my parents were very much Republicans, and I didn't see it at the time, but it's true because they'll still say they're for life or for smaller government or whatever it might be that they claim that they're for. But they do it from a perspective, stance, act of negating, not really being for those things. And I think my brain struggles with some of that
Wren .
@aBirdieOnaWireΒ Β·Β 4:50
You know, his response was, that's just the way that it is. Well, it isn't. He's wrong about it's all about grooming children. That's just the way it is. That's not true. I follow politics pretty closely, and I follow the news very closely. I'm kind of a politics nerd. And this is language that was used back in the against gay men saying that they were pedophiles. It's easy to demonize someone like that
Wren .
@aBirdieOnaWireΒ Β·Β 4:55
And so to see this small person picking fights and being argumentative and angry and aggressive, it was because I didn't want anyone to see that I possessed any feminine trait. And I think that is something that's happening with men
Thank you so much for bringing in the word indoctrination. I think that that distinction between grooming and indoctrination is a really important one that we needed. You made so many great points in there, from the spread of toxic masculinity to its roots in patriarchy and to the collateral damage and the ripple out effects of these things. I think when it comes to things like toxic masculinity, it's really easy for many to point the fingers at men
Rooster Collins
@RoosterCollinsΒ Β·Β 2:20
That was incredible, plum. Yeah. I'm sorry that you went through that. Your parents were really into it. Holy smokes. Okay. I had a similar thing happen to me. It. Well, my grandparents, my grandmother, same thing. And it drove me out early, much earlier than you. And, yeah, I had reoccurring dreams for a while of actually murdering someone. Like, actually waking up in a panic. That's my reoccurring nightmare, was
They were happy and felt that God had moved. And I was relieved it was finally over after another 45 minutes or whatever it was. But, yeah, too many stories like that. But even still, those weren't the things that caused me to leave the faith. There's beautiful christians, and then there's the others. And, I mean, it's like any human, right? There's so many beautiful, amazing humans, regardless of what we do or don't believe