I mean, I can't imagine my life without him. And I'm pretty scared because he's eleven now. It's just not fair. If I could talk to God, I would just tell the God. So I just fear it every day. He's been there with me since forever now. And I can't imagine my life without him. So scared. I love you, Zulu. I wish you could understand so I don't know why I'm getting so emotional today, but