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Grief- Growth-Grace: In Conversation with Neena Verma
Nina is a professional member of the NTL institute for Applied Behavioral science, professional certified coach from the international Coaching federation and an associate of the towers institute and the Portland institute for Laws and Transition. Her books grief, Growth, Grace and a Mother's cry a mother's Celebration and blog grief wise with Nina Varma are helping many bereaved people around the globe. Nina also runs an independent library movement for underserved children. Today we will talk to Nina about her book grief Growth. Grace welcome, Lena
Neena Verma
@GrowWithNeena · 4:58
Of course, nobody would like to take this course of having to lose somebody or having to undergo trauma to be able to come to a point of existential growth. But having said that, grief and trauma, they do offer you a spur. They do create opportunity and conditions wherein you are able to take a deep dive into your own existential self and then find ways to grow as a human being in a more fuller, more richer way. So grief is actually an occasion?
Nina Jean Deed. You have. And you know which brings me to my next question. The beauty of this book that I find is the deep acknowledgement to begin with, of grief, the process, the layers, and finally, also offering steps to help one cope. Can you share a bit about the motivation behind taking this approach?
Neena Verma
@GrowWithNeena · 5:00
Shijaji, thank you so much. I think I so appreciate your sensitive and deeply thought through questions in the context of this extremely layered and complex phenomenon called grief. Now, why I insist on affirmation as the place to start in grief is because this is one experience of life that nobody wants to go through and yet everyone has to go through. Perhaps the hardest experience of life is to come to trauma and grief and have to come to terms with having lost a dear one
Neena Verma
@GrowWithNeena · 5:00
And then there are some aspects that we resist or even resent. In my case, for example, I could slowly acknowledge the reality of my loss. But it took me forever to believe that a young, healthy person could die of a silent heart attack without a sign or symptom. And of course, I perhaps would never be able to come to terms with my son's physical absence, even though his existential presence always stays alive and awake in my heart and consciousness
Neena Verma
@GrowWithNeena · 5:00
It is like every moment our instinctive reactions may change and every moment is a moment of patience and faith in which we witness our grief, in which we sit with our grief and in which we allow it to guide our way forward. So it is a moment at a time. Then I would say that in living with grief we have to also understand and accept the fact that there would be much swing in sway that might happen
Neena Verma
@GrowWithNeena · 1:34
And if relationship does not die, then your deceased loved one will continue to exist and be present in your heart and consciousness. And if their presence in your heart and consciousness is alive, then it is better to allow the relationship to become an eternal bond, allow it to become a remembrance rather than just chopping it away. That is neither practical nor advisable nor helps healing and growth in any way
This is so, so valuable. And I'm hoping that people who tune in understand that this is an invaluable insight. And I encourage them to pick up the book as soon as they can because, you know, this is something that is really to be very, very helpful. As you said, grief is something that is inevitable. Right?
Neena Verma
@GrowWithNeena · 4:51
And a little bit I would like to say expansive wisdom, a humble wisdom, a warm wisdom with which I could understand that when I am companioning somebody in their grief, whether it's a professional or as a volunteer or as a friend, it's not necessary for me to be able to help them resolve everything, that there are many things which might remain unresolved or kind of not finding a way to a closure. And that too is fine. And that is something that my lived experience taught me
Ninaji, thank you so much for taking the time out to talk to us today. I am finding up this conversation and earnestly praying and hoping that this book finds its way into the lives of all those people who are seeking a meaning for their laws, who are seeking solace, and who are looking at finding a way forward and living on to meet the true purpose of their lives
Ashita Bajpai
@ashyyyyyy · 0:45
Hi, Sritan. This is ashita. And I would love to read about this novel or book, whatever this genre is that, you know, grief and sadness about, you know, how to overcome all these things around people. All right, like that. It's real life problems that exist between them. And how can we contribute to the people who are suffering from the same? It makes me feel happy and applauded at the same time that someone took this initiative. It's been wondered
Neena Verma
@GrowWithNeena · 2:17
Namaste and hello, Esheen. I'm happy to hear you swell on this thread. I'm Nina Verma. I am the author of the book Grief Growth Grace, and I'm happy to know that you have an interest in this complex and multilayered phenomena, which is conversations about which are much needed but so neglected. And I'm happy to know of your interest in the book. And as you said, grief and sadness, there are so many things to be explored about them
Neena Verma
@GrowWithNeena · 1:09
Namastein. Hello, dear Srijaji, so happy that we had this meaningful conversation and the time that you took and the interest that you showed in this topic, which is much ignored, but at the same time, much more needed, really. And I thoroughly enjoyed the deep conversation that we had. And of course, I am going to be posting from time to time. But at the same time, I'm also looking forward to hearing from you and hearing from others