Because I let people into my circle, as it happens, as a fate thing, I guess it's like if they choose to be there and pursue the friendship or whatever I felt like, then it was something there that I needed to help them with. It was like a God moment, a moment where I was put in their path to do what I needed to do to help them. And as an empath, that's what I do is help people as much as I can
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 2:26
But anyway, so judging again, everything in life is not black and white, right? There are many cases where we need to judge things for ourselves because it can save our life. For instance, when you're choosing people who are going to be close to you, people who you're going to be around, people who are going to have access in your home and just who knows everything about you, or at least most things, I think it's very important to judge a person
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 3:21
All the girls get together and whatever, but I guess I don't trust my own judgment at this point as far as what I'm looking for, because I've been down a path that was rocky, because my path wasn't smooth. I wasn't raised in the same kind of households as these people that want to hang out with me or what have you or opposite end
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Lololi Speaks
@LololiSpeaks · 3:59
It's just highlighting something that's happening from far away, that type of thing. But again, all in comedy. All in comedy. Nothing to be religious or devastating to the other, and nothing judging who they are by the hot water pants, right? I'm like shoe. Look at me. I wear a different wig every week
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 0:42
I appreciate you so much. Piping in on this. You are everything with that response. You had me laughing. You had me thinking. Girl, I followed you based on that response. You are definitely somebody I would like to know whose opinion counts because you have a very good one and I like the way you answered this question. This was a beautiful answer, actually. And I'm going to take that to heart, definitely. And thank you for cracking me up by the high water pants
You had to assume that there was a predator there, whether there was or not, and then act accordingly. And then when you gathered more information, obviously then you can make different decisions. And this is the way that I approach the idea of well, it's a little broader than that, but let's say stereotypes around men. As a woman moving through the world, I have to assume that all men are a danger and then make other decisions as I gather more data
Because I was in that situation before and she ended up leaving me because she said I was too nice to her. But then after she broke my heart, she wanted to come back and was like, you're not coming back. Your action spoke much louder than your words to me. Your action told me that you do not deserve my love at all and you treated me like garbage
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 3:50
And then of course, I share of my experiences because I'm very open about the things that I've been through, even though they're crazy. But I share because look at me now. Look what I have come from because it's an amazing, crazy story. But it's a huge leap from where I have been to where I am now. And I tend to want to see that in other people
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 3:22
So that's been a struggle. It's just them faking it and then becoming somebody that isn't pleasant or whatever the case may be just has characteristics and even values that don't line up with everything that we had talked about previously. It's completely strange. So what time limit do you set on getting to know who that person is? Is it years? And then are you too connected to make a clear judgment?
Maybe they had a bad day, maybe they're hangry, maybe they didn't hear, maybe they misunderstood something I said, whatever. And so there can be understanding there. But at some point it begins to slip into excusing their behavior
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:15
It does depend on each circumstance and each situation and each person and all of the variables that that can turn into. And, man, I complicate this so much in my own brain. But I do like these questions that sometimes don't have an answer, and I like that you're involved in them. I appreciate you
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 5:00
Because if I accept it in this regard, something could happen. Because he is so skilled, he is thicker in bodybuild, more muscular. Sure, for his young age, someone is going to get hurt while he's playing. And you're going to bring up that same word, but negatively? Oh, no, I mean it in all good ways. Well, guess what? He kicked the ball across the field. We were playing soccer. He kicked the ball across the field
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 1:27
Does that then make you look more at people and who they have been in their past? Especially if you're making a judgment without much to go on? In other words, you haven't been around this person long, and you start to know some of their history, and their history isn't pretty. Do you then make the assumption that they're going to be the same person now that they are, or that they once were?
Theo Seibold
@Thatoneweirdo · 4:58
A lot of the decisions we make in those type of instances is only based against what we know. And nine out of ten times, if it's enough to kind of pull us back because we don't want to know more, that's going to be the case. You're not going to think of it in that sense. You're not going to want to seek out more time with this person. And that can be unfortunate because you can miss out on some things
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:27
And in educating myself through people, I'm totally educating myself honestly. So thank you for your thoughts again, and dear sir, please join in to many, many more. Thank you
Theo Seibold
@Thatoneweirdo · 5:00
And when I went vegan, the first thing, my father was like, so you're just going to eat bowls of lettuce and drink water all day? And it's like, no, d***, it's not that cut and dry. And I introduced him to Bigo and other places, like a couple of places in Vegas that me and who I was with at the time
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:02
So when everything goes crazy, literally, you're floored, like mind blown. Like, who is this person? And maybe there was things that I didn't see, or maybe I was just craving human contact so bad that I let myself be blind. There's more to it, I'm sure, but I'm going to try to be a better judge of character, because that is the one judgment I think I will not beat myself up on. Back on donuts vegan
Theo Seibold
@Thatoneweirdo · 4:50
And basically, to kind of paraphrase it's, like, yeah, we want to align ourselves with good people, and we realize that some of these people may not be so good. Well, they might think the same of us for whatever reason. And that's where learning and growth comes into play, because we all look back on some relationships, friendships, intimate relationships, and go, wow, I wish I had done that better. Wow, I wish things have gone a different way
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:45
Melt down a little bit so that you get it almost to that malt shake texture. What is the difference between a malt and a shake? But you get me where it's just like melting your mouth. Freaking. Oh, my God. They have at Walmart giant, giant pells. They have this handle and like, when you're done with the ice cream, you can use the pells for your craft materials and stuff or your art supplies. It's freaking awesome
R. Porchia
@Block24Media · 1:39
And it leads us down paths that we either bad relationships, taking theo wrong job because we just a book by its cover, and we didn't get down to the meat potatoes of Theo situation or the person remain judgmental
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:16
You. Hi there, and thanks so much for joining in on this conversation. I think I'm coming to the conclusion that where I have tried to teach myself that it's bad to judge, right? And being somebody that survived a whole lot of complex childhood trauma, I have to be careful, because, one, the things that I grew up seeing that we're bad right. Were then told to me that it's fine. Right