Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:24
🍼YOU CAN CALL ME DADDY🍼👶 and 🤷🏼♀️🪢TIE ME UP🤦🏼♀️🕯 ~ Renee Attempts to Date 🫣
We're going to talk about the seduction. Dom, I believe is what he called the self and got a screenshot of that one. That one was unique because I interviewed these people instead of being like, oh no, I'm not into that, no, I'm not, whatever. I'm like, oh, really?
Jordan Tepper
@JordanTepper · 1:37
It. People guys have such a have gall about them. They have like the chutzpah to like they'll say all this stuff in text message or like direct message, whatever and not follow through. But yeah, that's totally rude. Um, I mean, because I'm a dad, I would never ask someone to call me daddy or tell somebody to call me daddy. I don't even like pet names. I don't like baby, honey, sweetie, whatever
Nidhin George 🔷
@geo_rhymes · 2:17
And that, I think, is what empowers them to behave in this sort of a way. Because if they had to do this in real life, I doubt any of them would have the courage to do that. But again, hilarious. Always fascinated by human behavior in real life versus on these virtual platform forms. It seems like most of us have two versions of ourselves. But the next swell cause that you promised, that definitely sounds exciting. Can't wait to hear that
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 0:53
It. I know, right? Like, how awkward. Call some little kid daddy. Like, I would laugh myself right out of there. There is just no way. Yeah, I guess I have that energy that just draws out best in people. But you're right. Next
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 3:47
But the apps do give them a platform to let their freak out, let it fly in which to each his own, like whatever. But it seems to be a lot more of that than anything worth investing anything in. And like I said, I'm not looking to dive straight into a relationship because I feel like due to the things that I've been through, it's better if I move at a Snell's pace
Erica Jean
@HeyItsErica · 2:52
It's a mental illness at this point because on the third time that you communicate with each other or three days in, rather, to bring that up is very odd to me. It's very odd. Good luck with him finding someone who don't mind that type of oddness. But it's just really scary out here with dating. You can't just start talking about your children and then talk about tying up people or getting tied up
Instead, it's like taking my kids to the dentist and next comment. I'm ready for you to time me up. I'm like, social skills really are dead, aren't they? I don't even know what I mean by that. But it's like, do you know how to communicate with a fellow human? I mean, obviously you do, but what the actual f***, dude?
And sure enough, she went on the app and immediately met her partner, who she's been with, I think, maybe seven, eight years now. And he's very much a part of our family. Relationships are never perfect, but I do think that there's two types of people out there. There's people that are genuinely looking to meet someone, and there's people that are looking for a dopamine hit
Oh, my goodness. Hello. I love that you think someone did pee in the dating pool. Oh, my goodness. Although I appreciated the reminder about Dovamine. Sometimes I forget that this still plays a role in the ridiculous shenanigans people do relating one to another. Like, not just and some of the more obvious things, but, like, actual interacting with humans. Yeah, dating is so not my scene. I have no clue about these things. I don't understand most humans and dopamine
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 4:58
The words can be clear cut and eloquently stated, transparent, abundantly clear in terms of what you're looking for. And you would still draw clowns. And you know what? I can't even call them clowns. It's the way of the world people nowadays. It reminds me of this book I read a long time ago, over 20 years ago. It's called closing the gap. I think it's called closing the gap
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 5:00
And the good thing about this is that you find this out ahead of time. It doesn't mean that a person that's not like this on the surface is not like this beneath the surface. So that's dangerous as well. So it's a really slippery slope when it comes to meeting people, whether it's on the internet or whether it's not on the internet, it's a really slippery slope and it involves some degree of trust
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:14
And then I worry that because of my age, they're thinking that it's going to be easy, just hookup deal. But that's not how it is for me. I don't know, it gets so complicated. But thank you for tuning in and I always tune into your stuff so you give great advice and Lord knows I need it and you hear me, like, moving around right now
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 3:00
So I'm like, look, this is not the same thing that I'm looking for, because if I'm moving like a turtle and you're moving like Jet, then somebody's going to get hurt. And I don't want to do that because I've been hurt. And then these couples, I guess poly people have reached out. And I don't ask a lot of questions about that because I already have with other people, because I've known somebody that was in a poly relationship
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:15
So I'm worried that maybe because that's what I'm trying to do and I'm not saying I'm looking for a relationship that maybe they think that at my age I'm going to throw that a** back because I'm at my age. Well, she's already been around the block. You know what I mean? I don't know. I don't know what the h*** they're thinking
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 1:55
Ah, you're going on a cruise. That's freaking amazing. I love that. And and I feel like you feel about the people that I've met on Swell. I was starting to think that there weren't good people out there at all anymore. And I know, like, we don't know know each other, but I've gotten to where I, like, know some of these people, I think. And it is filling something. It's filling my cup
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 3:14
And this is why the term is a weighted term and one that is freely, without reservation given to a man who demonstrates those qualities to be called that. Now, here is where the person you were speaking with and it's not age dependent, okay, because it's an essence, it's a way of being. And any man, any age can walk in that
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 4:56
So, I mean, there are some really good looking 20 somethings, but when I was about 34, I dated someone that was eleven years my junior. And since then, I've gone on one date with someone that was I don't even remember how old he was, but I know he was late. Twenty s and I found the conversation just not it didn't feel like I was talking to a man. Like I could not wrap my head around
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 3:16
I'm like, where did this even f****** come from? But I hope I'm not offending anyone in their sexual ventures. Because, honey, I've had them. I've had them. I'm not down in what people like at all, because I've explored. But it's the approach. It's the weirdness of the approach, I think. And the age. The age
Everything Jay
@everythingjay · 1:24
They try it with a lot of different people. It's not too so don't ever take that personally. It's just how it is these days. Think about it. It was a time where men were creeps, but they had to keep it under wrapped. Now we're in a day and age where they don't have to be quiet about being sexual and I want them to sleep with Randall. They don't have to be discreet about it, and so they're not. So yeah
When we grow up in unstable early childhood environments that we were left in fight or flight, then if the trauma is not recognized and actively worked through in adulthood, we subconsciously seek out relationships that retraumatize us. And so your future dating experience should really be about identifying your sensitivities that you now are dealing with because of what you dealt with in childhood and making sure that your interactions are not going to retrigger you and what that might look like
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 0:22
They are not they are not shy about it at all. There's a whole lot more of that than there is just people wanting to talk or whatever or get to know somebody. But it does make for some prime entertainment and some great interviews. I'll give it that. Oh, more to come. More to come
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 2:29
Floored I was like, do people actually do this now? Like I said, I have not had an example of what a healthy relationship looks like. But do people really do this? Because if they don't, they should. I mean, I was taken aback. All I knew was the fawn response, the fight, the flight, and that I didn't want my relationship to be as horrible as what I'd seen. I didn't want it to be horrible at all
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 1:39
And listen, my son will be 14 next week or I should say in five days. And I can imagine that I could have him as a I could have him as an older teenager. Right. 1819 young adult, 20 and up and running into 18 year old and plus 18 plus his age and thinking, I can't do it. My son is that age. So putting it in that perspective, I completely understand. That the same thing with dating older
And that's why we do yoga and meditation and we put ourselves in situations that intentionally are not dopamine activating. We take walks in nature, we learn to sit and appreciate and eat our food, and we get into this habit which really takes a lifetime for those of us that have been in these grown up in these toxic environments. We put ourselves around people that know how to do this, that know how to enjoy the simple things in life
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 0:35
A girl, when you hit that pause and you were, like, trying to say your son being if he was a young adult or whatever, just the way you took the pause that had me cracking up and I was eating, you choked me. Like, I had to restart this. Anyway. Yeah, I just can't. I just can't because I'm literally looking at one of my son's friends. Anyway, I love you and I appreciate you popping in on this
Renee Slay
@Renee_Slay · 3:24
And it's so strange that when you grow up in that environment, you're like, when you get out of it, like, away from your home, you're like, I'm never going to put myself in this situation. So many times I can remember telling myself, I will never be like my mother. I will never stay for what she's staying for. And oh, the shame that I had to work through over the fact that I stayed