How to Grieve for Someone Who’s Still Alive?
But just like that experience, just that process of knowing that he is somewhere and although I hope his life as well, and I have no ill wills for any of it, even though I have my own pain and my own personal grievances, it's something that I've had to make space for. It's something that I've had to acknowledge for healing, to grieve that we no longer have that connection, we no longer speak
Because however old we are or they are and the relationship and however long we've had it with them and they say that at the end of a romantic relationship that it takes half at least the number of years you were together to get over the person or for the grief to be not as poignant maybe significant. And I think with parents it's all the harder because, of course, this is a lifetime we're talking about. But also then I think biology plays a role too
It's just that the sensitivity or the like you said, the acuteness I'll just keep repeating that the acute sense of loss is not as much and it kind of dolls in a way and softens. So very interesting. Thank you for sharing
Shehla Faizi
@iamatopodcast · 3:42
I mean, I exist with my limitations. And I don't believe that I am the perfect person to the people around me, but I do try my best. The same vein. I think what I do is that I do mourn the relationship, but not to the point where I want it back. I grieve the fact that it could have been different, that the person could have made different choices
But the relationship that we had no longer exists. And the part that you talk about in terms of not torturing yourself and making space to know that it could have been different, and you understand that you would have wanted the best possible things for that relationship. It just didn't happen. But it's not you. You did your best. You tried your best
Shehla Faizi
@iamatopodcast · 4:04
You do have to realize that the other person does not have your best interest in mind at all and you have to slowly chip away at those false fantasies that sort of society creates for you. And that's the only way that you can truly grieve because there's no going back to it, really. There isn't and there shouldn't be. Not for the sake of your wellbeing and happiness. And that's integral