@Nicole_louw_
nicole louw
@Nicole_louw_ · 4:31

Why am I tough?

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I was the kind of man, and I say that inverted comments because obviously I was never a man. But I was the persona of a man that was just like the ultimate douche. I would go and squeeze a man's girlfriend's back just to get a rise out of him to see if he would fight me because I was suicidal. I didn't have the guts to kill myself, but I wanted other people to hurt me. I wanted other people to do it for me

What I would give just to be soft

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@NLOFrank
Tasha Frank
@NLOFrank · 5:00

@Nicole_louw_

And obviously, that's hurtful for them. But it's come from a deep entrenched, well, all sorts of stuff for me, but I'm working through it. And I have gotten better at dealing with relationships. I have gotten much better in learning to like myself. So I just wanted to say that although it's really difficult, and it might not feel like you will ever get there there. I don't believe that's the case. I think you can. And you will
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@NLOFrank
Tasha Frank
@NLOFrank · 2:56

@Nicole_louw_

I run out of time. So my ending of the last reply was a little bit abrupt. I just want to say that I am absolutely not trying to invalidate your feelings and saying that you're wrong because obviously they're your feelings and I don't know you, and I don't know your life, but I just wanted to. I think I just wanted to give you hope that never say never. The future isn't written yet
@theertha
Theertha Panachoor
@theertha · 0:33

@Nicole_louw_

Hey Nicole, Firstly, I love listening to all your swells. And Secondly, I love the amount of self awareness you speak with. And I'm so glad you have gone through metamorphosis and become a person you are proud of become, you know, a more truer version of yourself self. And I'm so glad. And many people being vulnerable is really difficult. And you are doing that. And that just goes on to show how strong you are internally. So yeah, I appreciate your vulnerability
@Nicole_louw_
nicole louw
@Nicole_louw_ · 0:58

Thank you :)

But the moment I become insecure over anything or I'm in a place of uncertainty, that's when it starts to affect me. And I think because I'm not focusing on loving myself and accepting myself. But it is definitely something I'm trying to work on. Thank you so much for responding
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@Nicole_louw_
nicole louw
@Nicole_louw_ · 1:03

Thank you ☺️

Hey there. Thank you so much for responding. I really do try. I try look internally as much as I humanly can on a day to day basis. I often feel that some people don't do that enough. It's very easy to blame the world around us without having to look internally and see why we react the way we do
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