@Msspaldingfab
Adilma Spalding
@Msspaldingfab · 4:43

Doing it Afraid

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Good night. Swell. It is ten five. Late post. Not sure how many takes I will give in this one, since it's about love, intimacy, relationships, male female relationships can't really speak about female to female. I'm heterosexual, but love is love. So I wanted to talk a little bit about male female relationships, especially in the arena of romance and commitment. I have been in a few relationships, not many

#relationships #intimacy #fear #beingloved

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@Msspaldingfab
Adilma Spalding
@Msspaldingfab · 4:39

#commitedrelationships #love #marriage

Part two of doing it? Afraid so. You know, I was discussing in the previous swell about long term relationships how I am. I don't know if I'm ready, but I am seeking a long term relationship that would possibly lead to marriage. I'm 54 years old, and I just don't think that life is meant to be spent alone. I mean, I love my company. I'm not even going to lie. I absolutely love my company
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@Msspaldingfab
Adilma Spalding
@Msspaldingfab · 4:44

#commitedrelationships #comingoutofyourcomfortzone

And I think it's maybe a little off putting for maybe guys. So for me, I've had gentlemen tell me, you can be a little intimidating. I don't even say anything, and I'm intimidating. And I always thought to myself, well, if a guy's really interested, I wouldn't intimidate that person. And I'm not just blaming myself for why I'm not in a committed relationship
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@Swell
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15

Welcome to Swell!

@Msspaldingfab
Adilma Spalding
@Msspaldingfab · 4:37

#relationships

And part of me listening to that audiobook about doing things afraid made me realize that how I'm going about trying to find that special person hasn't been exactly, you know, it hasn't worked for me and I need to do it differently. Doing it afraid is putting myself out there is the only way I'm going to find that person. So I challenge anyone that's looking for a commitment or looking for a long term relationship, are you doing it differently? You should do things differently
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@Mindsetmatters2
Khadijah H
@Mindsetmatters2 · 4:55
But for me, bonds, well, females want to be my friend. I just never let my walls down to truly let anybody in because I don't trust that people sincerely care, you know, and that's from past hurt where, you know, I thought people were my friend, they cared about me and they they hurt me, you know? And so because of that, I got this wall up like, yup, no, ain't nobody getting up in here. Forget about it
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@Mindsetmatters2
Khadijah H
@Mindsetmatters2 · 2:18
You don't have to let them all down, but you got to be able to at least let it down enough so somebody can peek in and see. They already feel it, but they need to be able to see. And like I said, it's hard to trust, it's hard to have these relationships. But it's worth it, you know, because if you don't try, you don't know. And know we were not meant to be here alone
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@Msspaldingfab
Adilma Spalding
@Msspaldingfab · 4:35

@Mindsetmatters2

I mean, the pandemic, watching my sister die, I think that one was the most unexplainable pain. And I don't touch on her a lot because it's a little too raw. With my parents. It's inevitable your parents get older. I don't want to say that I prepared myself, but I kind of, you know, I was aware that my parents were getting older and that time would be coming. But with my sister, she died at 50
@Msspaldingfab
Adilma Spalding
@Msspaldingfab · 4:46

@Mindsetmatters2

Especially people that care and love and advocate for others? Aren't they their passion for people? He studied. He's full of debt. I have my preconceived notions about the physician since I've worked with them for so long. I guess I got to go into a part three
@Msspaldingfab
Adilma Spalding
@Msspaldingfab · 4:41

@Mindsetmatters2

And as I'm trying to talk her into, who cares if he's interested, go out with him. You don't even know. You're already judging yourself to say that you're not good enough for this person. And you haven't even talked to this person. You know nothing about him. You just know that he's a doctor. He could be a complete, excuse my language a****** for all, because I've met many of them too
@Her_Sisu
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:21

Part 1

And then doing what you need to do to move past those blocks so that you can love openly, freely and out loud without any fear. Because we know perfect love does not involve fear. I want to share that. I get it. I've experienced the loss of sudden loss, tragic loss of my father in 2016. The work that I had to do to get past that, lord have mercy. And I instantly desired him in deep human connection after he passed
@Her_Sisu
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:53

Crystal Currie & Shay Your Love Diva

I really need your help. There's something I need an aisle for that's at the top. Do you mind helping me reach it? Oh, my God. This man almost broke his neck. He put his basket down, went and he was almost about the same height as I was. But let me tell you, he climbed that shelf and made it work and got the items that I needed off that top shelf. And he was like, Is there anything else you need?
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@Msspaldingfab
Adilma Spalding
@Msspaldingfab · 4:25

@Her_Sisu

I'm constantly protecting myself from things that I don't need protecting from. So I'm so glad I decided to because I've been thinking about speaking on Swell about that, and I had to kind of talk myself into it. And then yesterday at work, I was like, after I finished the auto book, do it afraid. I kept saying to myself, what exactly am I afraid of? I need to expose the parts of my heart that I've been hiding and protecting
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