Or can we imply through our own self written vows, in a more poetic and romantic tone, that, yes, I'm going to do everything that the marriage vows say. But marriage culture is changing. Wedding culture is changing, and we're trying to break some traditions here. So you know what? We're going to write our own vows, but of course we're going to be together till death do us part. What do you guys think?
Evelyn Phipps
@LadyFi · 1:03
You're. Thank you for this question. I recently got married, and this question, I posed it to my soon to be husband at the time, and I said, okay, are we going to do the traditional vowels, or are we going to write something out that we think about each other?
Nidhin George 🔷
@geo_rhymes · 2:48
So there isn't an option or an opportunity where if I get married here that I would be able to do something unique or out of the ordinary. The entire wedding service in the church has a structure and a format and there's very little involvement from the part of the bride and the groom in terms of what they have to say
Shawna Barnes
@ShawnaBarnes · 2:00
But also to be able to give that back and to mutually grow and prosper and manifest one another. My friends call that an evolutionary partnership. And I think that's the way to go. So there might be some traditional values in there but it's less about until death do we part. And it's more about we're here now. How do we absolutely make the most of it and become the most wonderfulest, awesomest being we can ever do, ever be. Release our untapped potential
Tori Closson
@soleilnoelle · 4:29
You. Thank you, Tanya, for inviting me to this chat. And I always, always say this in all of my messages that I really enjoy hearing everyone's perspective. I actually teach a course at an all girls high school called Perspectives on Culture. So I'm already kind of in in with my dating consulting and all of that stuff that I do matchmaking
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:46
But it's their choice to say their own vows if that's what they choose. And I have had some that have said the traditional vows. I've had some that have it. When I was married, my first marriage, I got married at the courthouse, and we did the traditional vows. My second marriage, I got married at my father's church, and my father married us. Nobody was there. It was really a really intimate ceremony. There was only a few people there
Andrea Piggue
@Andrea_Speaks · 4:40
I filled out the paperwork and did all that stuff myself to make sure that I got out of that marriage. And so my dad knew all that, right? And so he was saying what he felt like jokingly saying, but also serious. If I get married again, would I say my own vows? I don't know. I know people that have had them take. I know women that have had them take have done traditional vows but asked the preacher to take out the obey part, right?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:14
Hey, SIS, thank you so much for your response. I really thought I had responded, but I think I responded to a different swell where you were talking about you had gotten you just got married, or I thought it was this one last night. It was late last night. But anyway, congratulations first and foremost on your recent nuptials. Very happy for you guys
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 1:23
Your wife will be willing to follow her husband and do what your faith requires you to do in marriage. I don't think that's a bad thing at all. Yeah, I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I think a lot of people have that they just probably don't think of it as, well my church requires or my denomination requires
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:39
Maybe you all don't go through richer or for poor, but maybe you all do go through sickness and health. And are you willing to stand by someone who may have a long term illness or an illness that forever changes them for the rest of their life, or an illness that could be terminal? Are you still willing to uphold your commitment to stand by this person for the rest of their life?
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:33
If you're a person like myself who's never been married and you're marrying someone who's been married before, like, okay, they took vows with someone previously, and those vows didn't uphold. How do we know that? We pray that this is the last marriage that they'll have, but they're going to have a different take on it than I would
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:49
Because I think a lot of times people marry knowing that I have an out, and because I know I have an out, I don't really have to say all these vows because if some don't work out, then I'm gone. I'm going to do what I need to do
Joe Ortega
@BigJoeReads2U · 3:22
It's something that they do because they truly want to express their feelings of love and not have something read that, like you said, is hundreds of years old. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I could totally see why someone would elect to go that route like myself. 18 years ago, my wife asked me if I would write vows for our wedding, and I really was so shy at the time, I was afraid to speak in public
Kitha Larie
@chitchatwithkk · 2:07
I had the minister that conducted the ceremony before we set our vows, which he is an older gentleman now, he's still living, but I knew him since I was a young girl. And then I had my dad after he walked me down the aisle, he married me. So I had two, but it was a traditional. But I would say, I don't know if I'll ever get married again, but if I do, I want to have my self written vowels
dee felton
@MrDee · 4:45
It's the same thing in marriage. And I know a lot of times it gets some, you know, cliche kickback, but marriage is a duty. It's a duty for a husband. It's a duty for a wife, you know, and we've gotten away from that. Marriage is just whatever it is now. And, you know, and these days, to where there's no real standard. There's no real