@MsColes77
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:47

You Always Support Them, They Never Support You

But when it comes to them showing support they lack in that area, they always want you to share whatever they're doing on social media. They always want you to vote for them to win some type of award or to be a part of some type of board or committee. They want you to support support. But yet when it comes to you receiving support from said individual, they're not giving you support. They're not doing any of those things

#friendship #relationship #support #reciprocity

@FryedOreo
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:46
It. I have been this person and I guess in some ways I still am in regards of my craft and art in terms of support. But I think I kind of looked at things in a different way. So when I started doing podcasting, I figured I share links on my Facebook, put it on my timeline, everybody's going to start talking about it. It didn't happen and I kind of knew why, but I was still a bit perplexed
@DearAuntyAng
Ann-Gela Kaye
@DearAuntyAng · 3:16
And I said, you're actually better off going to buy it from Amazon. And she said, Well, I want a signed copy. So I'll pay the $18 shipping on top of the cost of the book. And I was like, wow, because I got people around the corner from me who haven't bought my book and that's okay. But the support is amazing
@MsColes77
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:51

@FryedOreo

My gosh, you stepped on my toes in some areas, I will say that. Thank you so much for responding. I will say that like you said, showing up for yourself and supporting yourself first is the most important part. And when people see that we believe in what we do, they'll believe in what we do. They may be slow to come around, but they will believe in us if we believe in ourselves. And I think that very important
@MsColes77
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:25

@DearAuntyAng

So unless you traveled a lot and moved around a lot, you did not get the opportunity to meet people in different states, in different countries and things like that. But thank God for social media, which connects us all and makes the world a little bit flatter so that we can meet people from different regions and countries and states and different areas, different cultures, different backgrounds, different nationalities and form these amazing relationships with people that we would have not otherwise been able to have access to
@FryedOreo
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:57

@MsColes77

So you have to kind of have belief in your s***. And if I could be real, I think your approach to supporting is good. But you are giving customer energy. You're only a customer in a way that's how they see you, in spite of family, blood, friends, all that s***. If you give customer energy, that's all you're going to be seen as all that supporting and s***
@NeophyteSavant
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 5:00

@MsColes77

I'll deal with it the best way I can and still have room enough to deal with other or rather to have a shoulder for somebody else to lean on or an ear for a person if they need someone to listen to them. So that's probably never going to change in lending and asking to borrow money, I've always been very funny with that. However, when it comes to people asking to borrow things from me, like money, that never seems to be a problem
@Her_Sisu
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:50
That you know someone who is an author with a sense of pride type of brag, like, you know my cousin or this person is an author. You purchase everyone else's thing except the people that are closest to you. So I have restructured myself and again it's support for support. Support for support. How are you supporting me? And then I can tell you how I can support you
@MsColes77
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:36

@NeophyteSavant

It's. Oh, my gosh, you are always such a blessing and thank you so much for the compliments I get you. Completely. I totally relate to where you're coming from with that. I know for me, I have a tendency to just expect that reciprocity, and I've gotten to a place in my life where I've got to accept that I'm not going to always get that reciprocity
@MsColes77
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 4:25

@Her_Sisu

Like, you tell me you support me. You tell me you're proud of me. You tell me that I'm doing a great job, you love what I'm doing, you love seeing my posts and all this other stuff, but yet you don't demonstrate support. So instead of just being proud of you writing a book, they need to purchase a book. Instead of me telling people, I appreciate what you're doing, I need to purchase something
@MsColes77
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:21

@Mariel

But I logged on because she was part of this panel and I wanted to hear her thoughts and I wanted to learn more about this from her perspective because, again, I've never lived it, so I don't understand it from a personal perspective, but let me hear it from your perspective now. I could have easily been like, well, why am I going to get on this colorism thing? I don't deal with that. I could have easily said that
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