Hello, Swell Cast family. Happy Saturday to each and every one of you. I was having a conversation the other day, and we were discussing communication, and the question came up, is it what we say that matters, or is it how we say it? And so I started thinking. I said, okay, when it comes to what we say, we're focusing on words, we're focusing on language, we're focusing on the method of communication. We're focusing on these things
Moe Johnson
@NeophyteSavant · 5:00
That's why I am with my son. They don't do spelling tests like they did when I was coming up and that was kind of disappointed, disappointing for me. But I give him spelling tests every week on my own because I need him to know how to articulate himself and express himself
So then I had to put aside what I needed to be able to communicate effectively to them, otherwise there was a disconnect for them and there was a lack of understanding somehow it didn't matter if I used the same words, it needed this additional data, if you will, of tone of voice and emotion and so on. And suddenly when I added that, it added something that made things clearer for them
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Oh, I said a phrase that I wish to retract. I said something about natural masking instead. I would say that not knowing I was autistic until late in life means that there was some masking that happened throughout life and it became automated. Not healthy, but it it they're familiar patterns I can fall back on. I wouldn't call it natural
But at the same time, you know what I mean, for moe and I tell the kids the same thing, it's got to be experience, you know what I mean? You got to be listening for the experience. I'm not saying shut them down, because you can learn from a fool. If you inclined to think that you can judge who's a fool, who's not a fool, but be courteous
Goddess Mia
@TheEyeinyou · 3:47
Well, I've had the challenge in offending people, and so with that, I used to try to say things in a very slow, careful tone, soft tone, so that I wouldn't be offensive to people. Like you just said, sometimes people focus on the fact that they're not liking the things that you're saying to them, and it's no way it's offensive, right?
Sean Cleveland
@No_Manuals · 1:47
It's. This is interesting because my friends and I talk about this a lot because they they always get mad at me when I say say it. It doesn't matter what you say, say, say, or how you say what you say. People always take it the way they take it. And the reason that is because you can only control what you put out there, but you cannot control how people receive it
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:32
I don't need to send you an official letter every time I'm emailing you, it's like, this is what I need, or this is my question, and that's that. I don't need the rest of it. I think sometimes we get too focused on the way something is said. Now it does matter. We want to be professionals. When it's called for, we want to use the right language
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 3:35
Hello, Mia. Thank you so much for responding to my swell cast. One important point you made, and I left this out, but it was so important is when you said they don't like it because I said it. And that is something that I have also run into. It's not what I said, it's the fact that it came from me
Tanya Coles
@MsColes77 · 2:29
And what's amazing is a lot of times we wonder why when we argue with people, our volume gets louder, our voices get louder and higher. And believe it or not, it's a physiological response. So when we are in the midst of arguing, because the stress levels in our body is increasing, it's actually affecting our ability to hear people correctly