@markbrooks
Mark Brooks
@markbrooksย ยทย 2:28

GHOSTED! Dating apps and ghosting?

article image placeholderThis Philly startup founder set out to create an anti-ghosting dating app - Technical.ly
Well, this is interesting. I just saw a post on Technically about a fellow who used to work at the Meat Group that's starting a dating app with quite an amusing name. Not another dating app, nada. And he started asking it because he wants to have a go at fighting Ghosting, which is a very valid war, really. Most of the dating industry does have a bit of a problem with this. So let me just define what the problem is

https://s.swell.life/STCs7ZGTvHuO0Uv

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@SeekingPlumb

@markbrooks The villainy of "ghosting".

So call me a villain for using this tactic, but it is for my own safety and I won't change that. When it's necessary, I'll do it. I also think that there are times when relationships, whether we're romantic or friendship or what have you, where based on prior experience and patterns of behavior, we know how an additional boundary, additional critical feedback, or an additional request for something to stop or change is not well received or has not been acknowledged
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@FryedOreo
Dewuan .
@FryedOreoย ยทย 3:20

๐Ÿ‘ป

So you would assume that they're interested in you at that point, but there can still be situations where they're going through some turmoil or they just don't want to be on the phone as much, or whatever the case may be. Or they could be looking for you to ask them out on a date, and if you don't ask them in two sentences, they're done talking to you. They have their own method, like they're like a Robocall thing or something
1
@katiecal
Katie Callahan
@katiecalย ยทย 2:33
So I'm in college. So with my perspective with Ghosting, I would say it's a little bit more, a little bit different than for like people in their twentys or thirtys, I guess. I'm in Katie twenty s. Thirty s. So at my school and my college, there's a huge kind of like hookup culture and people use dating apps to meet people basically to hook up. And nobody outright says it
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@FryedOreo
Dewuan .
@FryedOreoย ยทย 1:58

@katiecal thank you for your perspective.

Thank you for this insight, Katie. And it's interesting how just the notion of you even being on Tinder implies that you really want to hook up with someone. At least that's the general consensus. If you're naively actually trying to get to know someone, it's almost a deterrent to get to know that person
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@Swell
Swell Team
@Swellย ยทย 0:15

Welcome to Swell!

@sebc23
Sebastian Cahill
@sebc23ย ยทย 3:14

@katiecal really interesting to hear another student take on this!

I know that for some people it can be embarrassing to say, like, either I'm only looking for hookups or I'm only looking for dates or things like that. But I think that it is one of the things that honestly led to a lot less miscommunication between me and anybody else that I've been seeing or talking to on dating apps. Because you know that as long as you're upfront about your intentions, the rest is kind of up to that person
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@AnointedByGod_1
Doris Harris
@AnointedByGod_1ย ยทย 1:34
Hello. This is God's Anointed, and I just want to put my little tidbit in. I hope the TV is not too loudly. But first of all, I do not like dating apps because most of the time, they lie. And the second thing, they're ghosting. A lot of people ghost. They look through your if you have Facebook or Instagram, they look for your people for a day, and they ghost
@markbrooks
Mark Brooks
@markbrooksย ยทย 4:29

@SeekingPlumb

I think there's just a responsibility of the platform to actually set up a culture around setting norms. So for example, if one person is just got a couple of other people I want to date, they want to see how those relationships work out, perhaps that's okay. I think within the norm of internet dating, people understand this and it's okay, but it should be communicated. It shouldn't be left to guesswork
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