I tried to be that person for her. I tried to be understanding to her plight when it came to her struggles with her mental health. I prayed for her happiness and healing. No matter how angry and let down I may have felt, I prayed for her no matter how many times she broke my heart or abused my spirit. She was my lesson. She was placed back into my life to be the lesson I had a hard time learning from. I can't make other people happy
Mtwadamela Ijogo
@Mtwadamela · 4:18
Now, I'm not talking about with man made interference and stuff. So I do understand, and I understand the concept of selfsurvival. And in that sense, yeah, you're right. We're not responsible for anyone's happiness. However my conflict comes because when it comes to family and loved ones, then I do feel a sense of obligation towards them only because they're my loved ones. Because there's a difference. Every ecosystem comes with its own set of laws, okay?
Rocío (Ro) Christensen
@rocio · 4:15
Wow. I think you both bring up really good points. This is why I love this channel. There's always such personal and insightful conversation around these big questions. I can see the two sides of this coin, which I think are actually kind of the same side because it comes down to you both talk about, I think, boundaries, in a way, or like limits
Mtwadamela Ijogo
@Mtwadamela · 1:51
But yeah, this is a great topic. It's a great topic. These are the questions that as you get older in life, and sometimes younger people even ask themselves, because this is part of that whole thing of figuring this life out
L.A. Randle
@larandle · 0:21
Music. You broke it down perfectly. We are socialized to believe. If we get it, we will be happier. We're taught that our south forces are here to make us happy. Period. And at the end of the day, it's all internal. It's not on us, it's in us
L.A. Randle
@larandle · 0:33
Boundaries is the perfect word. Boundaries for yourself and for the other person understanding that you are enough and you don't have to over extend yourself. Specifically and I want to say specifically for toxic people and like you said, the bigger baggage is yours to carry. Anybody else's responsibility?
I was taking care of situations, making sure nobody was unhappy except for me. I was never happy. It's a sad thing to wait until you're almost 40 years old to develop a sense of individuation and try to figure out who you are and who you want to be. I mean, what makes me happy? That's the important thing, what makes me happy. So thank you very much, and you have a great day
L.A. Randle
@larandle · 1:32
And it gets to a point where you realize that you don't want to be unhappy, especially not for the sake of others, just to make them happy. And then you turn around and you look at yourself in the mirror, and you're like, where does time go?
L.A. Randle
@larandle · 1:32
I'm super, super happy and stoked that I could hope and you were able to resonate with what I said. I was the same way when I was younger and it actually took me a while. I mean, I've done it even, even in my older years. But it is so important to just protect your energy and it is so important to always put you first, always recognize that your feelings matter and always listen to your instincts. Make sure that it feels right for you
There's no reason for me to be that upset or angry for it to ruin my day with my friends. Because normally things like this would sometimes ruin my week because of how p***** off I would get at my parents. Like selfish, like s***** behavior. So there's been too much damage. But my happiness doesn't depend on that. It depends on how they want to act. And I've been asking
Arushi .
@Arushi321 · 1:20
This can be really hard at times, especially if you are nurturing people or deeply love the person who is struggling. You want to be the fixer. You want to help them with a solution, make smart choices and see the light. It might even feel selfish not to intervene and take care of things. After all, our friends and loved ones are supposed to support each other. Yes, of course. But there's a difference between supporting someone and trying to fix their problems and make them happy
prisha k
@prisha198 · 0:05
I'm so glad that you talked on this topic. I was so interested to listen to it