I mean, you're nice and you're pretty, but I don't really like dark skinned girls. And so I always took it upon myself to believe that I was just not good enough. It didn't matter if I was pretty. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't pretty enough. I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't anything enough. But I always pushed myself to be better than I always believe that I'll show you
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 4:03
Lady. Oh, very beautiful. Swell here. Powerful. And it's very cool to hear your defining moment. And as a darkskinned person myself, I definitely can't realize late to some iteration, not exactly, but basically being the default choice in a way, for some, at least in societal standards, of what is like a consolation prize of beauty at times in comparison to a lighter skin. But that's a whole different conversation. A defining moment for me
Ophelia Johnson
@LadyO · 4:03
At least I know I'm not crazy. I'm not the only one who went through that. You know what I mean. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. And what's your name again? I didn't hear it the last time
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 2:07
Ophelia. Hello, I'm Dewuan, by the way, if you didn't catch the name, but yeah, I definitely can relate to that. The duality of experience being darkskinned and and not being the most favored in the beginning. But everybody loves dark skin now, so I guess that's a good thing, but at least they don't love me. They don't love me, but they do love dark skin. So it is what it is
Sontaia Briggs
@PKBriggs · 3:02
And every time he tells any part of it, I love it that we are able to navigate that and emerge ourselves. So I don't know what my defining moment was, but I know that this is my salute to all of us and all those like us, all those outliers. I guess if that might be the right word or not, that were able to emerge themselves through this sort of pressure, we became the diamonds that we were supposed to be. So rock on people, peace
Ophelia Johnson
@LadyO · 4:11
Some of them are women who are either thinking about getting divorced, getting a divorce or are divorced. And it's mostly Western women who are married to Arab men like myself. I remember the struggle that I went through and having no one to talk to, no one to understand what I was going through, all the different emotions that I went through and how I overcame those things. So that's why I decided to get into life coaching. I'm not one much for relationship coaching
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 2:05
And honestly, I think a lot of the issues I had with the then life coaches at the time was that I was lacking an emotional intelligence. And what happens when you lack in something? Sometimes you turn that into a dislike in others. So I was projecting a bit back then was very immature. And I like to feel that my emotional intelligence has clicked up a few notches since then, but I have a lot of room to grow
Professor Z
@Professor42 · 1:25
Lady. Oh, I hope it's okay for me to chime in on this. I think this is a great topic, interesting topic, and the responses are great. I've recorded and rerecorded my swells because I wanted to to compose something good, and I'm not as well spoken as some of the users on this platform. I wanted to give my input if I could and possibly offer a perspective you might not see
Professor Z
@Professor42 · 0:53
But the only thing I could think of was that he's well spoken like yourself. I don't quite understand how speaking well is talking white, but it's something that he dealt with. All I can say is that you seem team, smart, and so far some of your Smalls I've listened to of yours are pretty good. I'm looking forward to hearing more from you
Dewuan .
@FryedOreo · 1:29
Professor 42, thank you so much for the response. And yeah, sounds like your grandpa went through. Now, what a cool album name that would be or a movie movie title. The White Boy of Harlem, the White Guy of Harlem. I like that. I like that title. Yeah, I went through adversity as I've seen it, coming to terms with just the fact that I was never going to be the street hood, thug type that some women I know go for
Ophelia Johnson
@LadyO · 3:14
And I think at a younger age, it really bothered me because you just felt like you never fit in with the people who you are supposed to feel at home with. Now that I'm older, those same people, mostly men, will come back and say, oh, wow, your pictures. You look so beautiful. And, oh, I wish we could have dated. I always had a crush on you in high school, but they were always worried about what their friends would think